A sorta thank-you to the group

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Well on Friday I had a very interesting meeting with 4 of 's teachers

the principal and the person in charge of everything else. We were meeting

because she has been having some unusual outbursts of behavior or maybe its like

stress and overwhelming-ness of her teenage/middle school life.

Anyway, I wont go into details, but toward the end of the meeting, I was

feeling no resolve and like we met (they met with me on a Friday after school

when

it should have been happy hour for them), and would have to reconvene. So, I

was almost a little teary eyed, and then we all got quiet and it looked like

we had no where for this meeting to move.

So, I took a chance and asked, " Do you know about FBA's? " And the person in

charge of everything else- said, 'Yes we have them. " Soooooooo- the part I

want to thank you for, is that i would not know about a FBA if it werent from

this group where I learn soooo much from you guys.

Outcome: we will not go with the FBA yet, but instead keep an anecdotal and

do a daily behavior sheet for each teacher to sign which will be written

specifically to her needs.

I am worn out by this meeting and this year for in general. The one

really good thing that the principal said after all the teachers were whining

about how badly amanda has been behaving is that to check when is she having a

good day- like for 7 out of 8 periods, are things going well, or for 4 out of

5 days, etc. I have been sorta fighting all year with her, but that comment

made me realize that she really cares about the kids and also really knows her

stuff and how to move things forward.

I didnt want this meeting to be right before Mother's Day cause some of the

discussion was tough for me, but then I felt so much better to find out that

they really do care so much and also se me as a valuable memeber in 's

education process. And the wine since then has also helped!

So thanks again to this group of great people for always being with me, even

in times when I dont expect you to be there- Happy Mother's Day to all of us

really special moms.

[Guest guest]

So glad that you put up your thank you. It sounds like you and I were doing

the same thing last Friday, and I'm so glad that I'm not the only one (I

know that sounds strange, but I'm sure you know how comforting it is to

realize that you're not alone.).

I had our IEP meeting for (11yrs) last Friday afternoon as well.

Knowing what had been coming home in our comms book for the past few weeks

(lists of all the things that R has been doing " wrong " ), I wasn't looking

forward to this meeting. This is a new school for us this year - a small

school for kids with spec needs, who run a program in Yr5,and 6 to work on

academics and get the kids ready for re-integration for high school.

still goes to her " old " school on a Friday (fully integrated), and this

school Mon-Thurs.

Sure enough I heard all about how bad her behaviour has been, and how they

feel that she can't be unsupervised in the playground! This was a child that

I don't know - she's not a nasty or physical kid at home, or at her other

school. I have NO understanding as to why my child would be laughing at

other people if they get hurt in the playground, why she would lock herself

in the toilets; why she would be kicking a Kindergarten boy etc etc etc.

What really got me though, is that they seemed to want me to come up with

all the solutions - I gave many suggestions (mostly involving positive

reinforcement and rewards systems etc) and left wondering how they could

never have had a child with " behaviours " before. This school has been around

a long time, and has a GREAT reputation.

Ah well, I'm hoping that things will improve - she went to a birthday party

on Saturday with these kids, and I discovered that she and another girl have

become good friends (same age, also with DS). So am going to encourage this

by having her over to play etc. I think she's just missing all her friends

at her old school, and hasn't quite figured out how to play with kids at the

new school. (fingers crossed and a few prayers).

The wine on Mother's Day has helped me too.. :-)

Regards

in Sydney, Australia

(wife to Tony, mum to Mel (12yrs), (11yrs, DS), Greg (9yrs)

_____

From: linman42@... [mailto:linman42@...]

Sent: Sunday, 9 May 2004 11:39 AM

Subject: A sorta thank-you to the group

Hi,

Well on Friday I had a very interesting meeting with 4 of 's teachers

the principal and the person in charge of everything else. We were meeting

because she has been having some unusual outbursts of behavior or maybe its

like

stress and overwhelming-ness of her teenage/middle school life.

<http://us.adserver./l?M=295196.4901138.6071305.3001176/D=groups/S=

:HM/A=2128215/rand=214739121>

[Guest guest]

You know what really scares me about the behavior issue guys? What our kids

CAN " T tell us. I just let my SPED teacher go. She started in Jan. and i

haven't been all that thrilled with her but I wanted to give her the benefit of

the doubt. I had to constantly show her how to re-direct micah at home through

play and not a raised voice and stern face. She was very structured and

regimented and I understand that everyone is different but after all, Micah is

only 3 and a half and developmentally delayed. Don't get me wrong, I push him

also, but not to the point that he shuts down. Anyway I had talked to his

nursery school teachers a few weeks ago and they saw issues of control also.

They had to re-direct him as she really had a problem with him and he had cried

on a few occasions CRIED, he Never cries. So i was really upset. I decided she

was going when one of the mothers stoppped me and told me they had seen her

being mean to him. She then when on and explained how, and she was really upset

because micah is the most well behaved kid in the classroom. Anyhoo i spoke

with teachers again and they said they would watch. Told me after class that

she had been very caustic with him when she thought no one was around. How long

has this been going on??? Long story short I let her go at our next home visit,

but my point is this. Micah had been all of a sudden wanting to not be

seperated from me when i dropped him off. he never did this. And he would

become even more clingy when she came into the room. I knew something was

wrong. How many of our kids are going through things such as this or another

kid tormenting them or what not that they can not tell us about and then they

get labled with behavioral issues. Hey if my teacher was being " caustic " to me,

I would have issues also. It is scary and I think we all need to remember to

not rule out those types of problems to begin with. I am not looking forward to

public school. It scares the life out of me.

Loree

A sorta thank-you to the group

Hi,

Well on Friday I had a very interesting meeting with 4 of 's teachers

the principal and the person in charge of everything else. We were meeting

because she has been having some unusual outbursts of behavior or maybe its

like

stress and overwhelming-ness of her teenage/middle school life.

<http://us.adserver./l?M=295196.4901138.6071305.3001176/D=groups/S=

:HM/A=2128215/rand=214739121>

[Guest guest]

Loree-

This is the fear that I've been struggling with since the day we found out Blake

would have DS. I just try not to shelter Blake too much, because the rest of

the world has a lot to learn from our kids.

Schulte

From: loree

How many of our kids are going through things such as this or another kid

tormenting them or what not that they can not tell us about and then they get

labled with behavioral issues.