Humor: Idiot Sightings

[Guest guest]

IDIOT SIGHTING:

We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears

repairman told us that one of our problems was that we

did not have a “large” enough motor on the opener. I

thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest

one Sears made at that time a 1/2 horsepower. He shook

his head and said, “Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.”

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said,

“NO, it’s not.” Four is larger than two.” We haven’t

used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new

neighbor call the local township administrative office

to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on

our road. The reason: “Too many deer are being hit by

cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for

them to be crossing anymore.” From Kingman , KS

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a

taco. She asked the person behind the counter for

“minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only

had iceberg lettuce. He was a Chef? Yep... From

Kansas City ! Note: I don’t think they call those

people preparing fast food “Chefs”.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an

airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in

your baggage without your knowledge?” To which I

replied, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I

know?” He smiled knowingly and nodded, “That’s why we

ask.” Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to

cross the street. I was crossing with an

intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked

if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it

signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled,

she responded, “What on earth are blind people doing

driving?!” She was a probation officer in Wichita ,

KS

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker;

she was leaving the company due to “downsizing.” Our

manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun. We should

do this more often.” Not another word was spoken. We

all just looked at each other with that

deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at

Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip

back into itself and for the sake of her life,

couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no

less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile

dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys

had been locked in it. We went to the service

department and found a mechanic working feverishly to

unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the

passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle

and discovered that it was unlocked. “Hey,” I

announced to the technician, “its open!” His reply, “I

know. I already got that side.” This was at the Ford

dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

STAY ALERT! They walk among us...

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