Re: talking about death

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Sorry about your grandpa. 's best friend's Dad passed away about a

month or so ago. was very upset and we went to the funeral. i wanted

her

there to support her friend and be there for her, but I didnt know how she

would react.

She survived the funeral pretty well (I didnt, I got up to speak about him

and was hysterical, speak of being strong for the family). Bob, that was

amanda's friend's dad, always made sure amanada's friend got here to see her on

her

bd, for the holidays and so they could just spend time together.

So, brings up Bob at times unprompted- asking questions, like why did

Bob have to die? Who will bring Delia to my parties? Its very interesting

her processing all this. Anyway, I think she understands, but needs time to

process and come to terms. We just never know what/how our kids will react to

this issues.

~ Mom to 13 DS and Diabetes Type 1 and 9 NY

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 3/28/2004 7:46:04 PM Central Standard Time, huie@...

writes:

> We have had several conversations on the board recently about talking about

> death. We have had 2 family members die since the first of the year. An

> uncle passed away unexpectedly in January, and my grandfather ( and

> 's great grandpa) died this morning at the age of 100 years and 3 months.

He

> lived in Seattle, had lived a very active and full life, and by the grace of

> God, both my mom and uncle were able to be with him.

>

> We have had many conversations with and about death, what it

> means, and about our beliefs in heaven. Both girls have a good understanding

of

> our beliefs in God and heaven. After I told about her Great Grandpa's

> death, she said " Wow, awesome, he is in heaven with Jesus, Uncle Dick, and

> Deela (my grandpa's ex-wife). " . I told her that was right, that is where he

> is, she again said " awesome " and walked off. She has asked me again today

> about death, I have answered her questions very honestly, and she seems to be

> dealing with it okay. We will see over the next few weeks.

>

> Sharon H.

> Mom to , (12, DS) and , (8)

> South Carolina

HI Sharon

Sara has asked me many questions, well usually the same one or two ........

why did she (my Mom) die and when will I see her again? then after I answer she

will say " I miss my grandma " or " I want her to come back .... now "

Lately out of the blue Sara will say that she is sad grandma is gone amd she

misses grandma but in our case she saw my Mom 2-3 times a week and talked to

her on the phone almost daily. My Mom lived just a mile away and worked down

the block from us. She came by often.

I too answer Sara very honestly but Im sure she can see my sadness which

might be reminding her of her own. I have also talked to Sara about where I am

going and that I will wait on her in heaven, she answers with " no Mom Im going

to

go when you go "

Sweet thought but I do want a full life for her

Kathy mom to Sara 12

¸...¸ ___/ /\ \___ ¸...¸

,·´º o`·, /__/ _/\_ \__\ ,·´º o`·,

```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | | | ```)¨(´´´

¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-.¸

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

Josh. 24:15

[Guest guest]

I am telling you guys, get NANA UPSTAIRS NANA DOWNSTAIRS. It's a beautiful,

poignant story about 2 grandmas. One dies. It saddens the child, but then

she is told that when she sees a falling star it is her NANA throwing a kiss.

BEAUTIFUL story. It helped my neices when my sister died.

     ¸...¸ __/ /\____ ________

      ,·´º o`·,/__/ _/\_ //____/\

      ```)¨(´´´ | | | | | | | || |l±±±± |

      ¸,.-·²°´ ¸,.-·~·~·-.,¸ `°²·-. :º°

     As for me and my house,

      we will serve the Lord.

             24:15

[Guest guest]

Thanks

No, I am still not sure how will continue to process this. I guess I

will just continue to answer her questions honestly, emphasizing what we

have already discussed.

Sharon H.

Mom to , (12, DS) and , (8)

South Carolina

Re: talking about death

> Hi,

> Sorry about your grandpa. 's best friend's Dad passed away about a

> month or so ago. was very upset and we went to the funeral. i

wanted her

> there to support her friend and be there for her, but I didnt know how she

> would react.

>

> She survived the funeral pretty well (I didnt, I got up to speak about him

> and was hysterical, speak of being strong for the family). Bob, that was

> amanda's friend's dad, always made sure amanada's friend got here to see

her on her

> bd, for the holidays and so they could just spend time together.

>

> So, brings up Bob at times unprompted- asking questions, like why

did

> Bob have to die? Who will bring Delia to my parties? Its very

interesting

> her processing all this. Anyway, I think she understands, but needs time

to

> process and come to terms. We just never know what/how our kids will react

to

> this issues.

>

> ~ Mom to 13 DS and Diabetes Type 1 and 9 NY

>

>

>

> Click reply to all for messages to go to the list. Just hit reply for

messages to go to the sender of the message.

>

[Guest guest]

We took kids to their Great-Aunt's funeral about 8 years ago - and it was

their first experience with the funeral setting. I tried to prepare

for what to expect, what would be appropriate behavior, and all...... and

explained that we would not be seeing Aunt Grace again when we went to

Oregon to visit all the relatives....

What I was not prepared for was that it was my husband's first experience

at a funeral also (something he did not share until we were there)....

I had primed (she was about 11 at the time) that if she had any

doubts about what she should do during the service, that she should check

around and see what others were doing (thinking that role-modelling thing)

..... so there we were, seated in the row..... and at one point my DH

loses it and starts rather loudly crying and blowing his nose....

- doing everything that she was told to do - follows suit. I had

one on each side of me using all the Kleenexes from the family behind us!

To this day she still mentions Aunt Grace at least once a week - and has to

go over all the details - " she was old and sick and she died and that

means we will not be visiting her in Oregon, right? " ....and I think each

and every teacher she has had since then has had to hear about her Aunt

Grace too.......

Kathy

mom to (19-DS) and a bunch of others....

*********** REPLY SEPARATOR ***********

On 3/28/2004 at 8:40 PM Sharon opined:

| We have had several conversations on the board recently about

| talking about death. We have had 2 family members die since the first

| of the year. An uncle passed away unexpectedly in January, and my

| grandfather ( and 's great grandpa) died this morning at the

| age of 100 years and 3 months. He lived in Seattle, had lived a very

| active and full life, and by the grace of God, both my mom and uncle

| were able to be with him.

|

| We have had many conversations with and about death, what

| it means, and about our beliefs in heaven. Both girls have a good

| understanding of our beliefs in God and heaven. After I told

| about her Great Grandpa's death, she said " Wow, awesome, he is in

| heaven with Jesus, Uncle Dick, and Deela (my grandpa's ex-wife). " . I

| told her that was right, that is where he is, she again said " awesome "

| and walked off. She has asked me again today about death, I have

| answered her questions very honestly, and she seems to be dealing with

| it okay. We will see over the next few weeks.

|

| Sharon H.

| Mom to , (12, DS) and , (8)

| South Carolina

|

*********** END OF REPLY SEPARATOR ***********