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Hi everyone....

I hesitate to post this... considering the wood shed whooping many of you

inflicted on me recently. Just so you know... I am resigned that

some want to be sensitive to others and others do not... but I am tired

of trying to mitigate what I see as problems. My life is much too

busy to waste it taking the abuse many shipped to my email box last week.

If it is your choice to condone rude behavior... have fun. But have

fun without me checking in to see if someone needs my help.

Anyway... just thought I would send you all the note I got today.

I think it explains why so many people are leaving the service. If

ya'll want to do something positive to stem the flow of departures, that

would be great. If you want to respond negatively to this fellow's

idea.... do it some other way than sending a complaint to me... don't shoot

the messenger!

Please allow me the privilege of making

my case.

Three quarters of the way thru April

I stopped reading the Zaplist.

My morning routine was coffee, ,

email, newspaper.

But the daily average in April was

18+ a day and I didn't have the time to sit, day after day, and wade thru

so many posts....no matter how much I want to.

My understanding of the is

that its primary purpose is a forum to make requests for and diseminate

information about ICDs and heart problems, treatments, medications, and

solutions. This is an extraordinarily valuable service and incomparable

with any other ICD forum. Kudos.

My understanding is that the Zaplists

secondary purpose is to provide advice and support for those experiencing

the emoptional consequences of our serious medical conditions - regardless

of whether that support is overtly requested or not - in other words, sometimes

just being there, just listening, not criticising and being socially supportive.

That also includes just kibbitzing. I fully support that. It's quite

possible the more important function of the zap list.

I've seen over the last 6 months, some

extremely nice, and very needy people get on the list and just eat up post

after post, overtly just socializing, but quietly healing in the background.

Then they fade into the background. That's great. If you read the dailies,

you know exactly who I'm talking about. From the they find

that they are not alone, and that their feelings are normal and valid,

and that they are not really going crazy. They also find the strength to

wheter the depression, and find strength in the sucesses of other with

more serious illnesses.

But I (and I suspect more and more

people) cannot indulge myself with the quantity of time necessary to follow

the posts.

The Zaplist is AVERAGING MORE THAN

23 A DAY this month! And projected to 731 posts this month!!!

RELIEF REQUESTED:

May I suggest that the request

that correspondents indicate "MED" or "SOC" at the beginning of the subject

list, so I and others

can get the benefit of those posts

regarding medical or medical/emotional subject?

(sender's name removed)

Stay well....

Duffey

Founder, Duffey Cybercations

Office: 813-926-3065

Cell:

813-363-1910

13014 Royal Avenue

Odessa, FL 33556-5713

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Hey, Duffster.....

Good ideas this guy proposed. I know that i personally delete without

reading the entire msg. a good

lot of the Zaplist mail I receive. I work FT, and am on several other

lists.... and on a daily basis i receive

well over 500 msgs./day from all these lists. The most busy of them have

instituted something exactly like

your guy proposed.

I would suggest:

CHAT: just touching base with our friends here, and/or replying to

another chatty msg. It would help

that we change the subject line, and perhaps put the person's name in

the subject line to whom we are

responding..... so everyone else can delete as desired if it doesn't

pertain to us at the time.

HELP: Requests for information/support.

INFO: Maybe you ran across a great article or study that you want to

share.

HUMOR: We all know who's guilty here! :)

INSPIRATION: Poems, stories, uplifting things that we all need so

much.

Just a few suggestions; i'm sure you all can come up with more!

Thanks.

Sue

--

" She was not quite what you would call refined.

She was not quite what you would call unrefined.

She was the kind of person that keeps a parrot. "

-- Mark Twain

Rich and Sue Owens

http://www.geocities.com/Yosemite/Meadows/7457/index3.html

http://www.nothnbut.net/~reo77/aurora.html

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I don't think its a bad idea so that the people that are here just for the

med can only red them too bad theyre going to miss some decent entertainment

but i have no problem with that. I think its a good idea. Love TURK

>From: Jon Duffey <duffey@...>

>Reply-

>Zapper EMail List < >

>Subject: Protocol

>Date: Thu, 25 Jul 2002 17:09:17 -0400

>

>Hi everyone....

> I hesitate to post this... considering the wood shed whooping

>many of you inflicted on me recently. Just so you know... I am resigned

>that some want to be sensitive to others and others do not... but I am

>tired of trying to mitigate what I see as problems. My life is much too

>busy to waste it taking the abuse many shipped to my email box last

>week. If it is your choice to condone rude behavior... have fun. But

>have fun without me checking in to see if someone needs my help.

> Anyway... just thought I would send you all the note I got

>today. I think it explains why so many people are leaving the service.

>If ya'll want to do something positive to stem the flow of departures,

>that would be great. If you want to respond negatively to this fellow's

>idea.... do it some other way than sending a complaint to me... don't

>shoot the messenger!

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>Please allow me the privilege of making my case.

>

>Three quarters of the way thru April I stopped reading the Zaplist.

>

>My morning routine was coffee, , email, newspaper.

>

>But the daily average in April was 18+ a day and I didn't have the time

>to sit, day after day, and wade thru so many posts....no matter how much

>I want to.

>

>My understanding of the is that its primary purpose is a forum

>to make requests for and diseminate information about ICDs and heart

>problems, treatments, medications, and solutions. This is an

>extraordinarily valuable service and incomparable with any other ICD

>forum. Kudos.

>

>My understanding is that the Zaplists secondary purpose is to provide

>advice and support for those experiencing the emoptional consequences of

>our serious medical conditions - regardless of whether that support is

>overtly requested or not - in other words, sometimes just being there,

>just listening, not criticising and being socially supportive. That

>also includes just kibbitzing. I fully support that. It's quite

>possible the more important function of the zap list.

>

>I've seen over the last 6 months, some extremely nice, and very needy

>people get on the list and just eat up post after post, overtly just

>socializing, but quietly healing in the background. Then they fade into

>the background. That's great. If you read the dailies, you know exactly

>who I'm talking about. From the they find that they are not

>alone, and that their feelings are normal and valid, and that they are

>not really going crazy. They also find the strength to wheter the

>depression, and find strength in the sucesses of other with more serious

>illnesses.

>

>But I (and I suspect more and more people) cannot indulge myself with

>the quantity of time necessary to follow the posts.

>

>The Zaplist is AVERAGING MORE THAN 23 A DAY this month! And projected

>to 731 posts this month!!!

>

>RELIEF REQUESTED:

>

>May I suggest that the request that correspondents indicate

> " MED " or " SOC " at the beginning of the subject list, so I and others

>can get the benefit of those posts regarding medical or

>medical/emotional subject?

>(sender's name removed)

> ------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

> Stay well....

> Duffey

>

>Founder, Duffey Cybercations

>Office: 813-926-3065

>Cell: 813-363-1910

>

>13014 Royal Avenue

>Odessa, FL 33556-5713

>

_________________________________________________________________

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Consider me on your side in how you want to run YOUR .

Best.

Bill

Protocol

Hi everyone.... I hesitate to post this... considering the wood shed whooping many of you inflicted on me recently. Just so you know... I am resigned that some want to be sensitive to others and others do not... but I am tired of trying to mitigate what I see as problems. My life is much too busy to waste it taking the abuse many shipped to my email box last week. If it is your choice to condone rude behavior... have fun. But have fun without me checking in to see if someone needs my help. Anyway... just thought I would send you all the note I got today. I think it explains why so many people are leaving the service. If ya'll want to do something positive to stem the flow of departures, that would be great. If you want to respond negatively to this fellow's idea.... do it some other way than sending a complaint to me... don't shoot the messenger!

Please allow me the privilege of making my case. Three quarters of the way thru April I stopped reading the Zaplist. My morning routine was coffee, , email, newspaper. But the daily average in April was 18+ a day and I didn't have the time to sit, day after day, and wade thru so many posts....no matter how much I want to. My understanding of the is that its primary purpose is a forum to make requests for and diseminate information about ICDs and heart problems, treatments, medications, and solutions. This is an extraordinarily valuable service and incomparable with any other ICD forum. Kudos. My understanding is that the Zaplists secondary purpose is to provide advice and support for those experiencing the emoptional consequences of our serious medical conditions - regardless of whether that support is overtly requested or not - in other words, sometimes just being there, just listening, not criticising and being socially supportive. That also includes just kibbitzing. I fully support that. It's quite possible the more important function of the zap list. I've seen over the last 6 months, some extremely nice, and very needy people get on the list and just eat up post after post, overtly just socializing, but quietly healing in the background. Then they fade into the background. That's great. If you read the dailies, you know exactly who I'm talking about. From the they find that they are not alone, and that their feelings are normal and valid, and that they are not really going crazy. They also find the strength to wheter the depression, and find strength in the sucesses of other with more serious illnesses. But I (and I suspect more and more people) cannot indulge myself with the quantity of time necessary to follow the posts. The Zaplist is AVERAGING MORE THAN 23 A DAY this month! And projected to 731 posts this month!!! RELIEF REQUESTED: May I suggest that the request that correspondents indicate "MED" or "SOC" at the beginning of the subject list, so I and others can get the benefit of those posts regarding medical or medical/emotional subject? (sender's name removed)

Stay well.... Duffey Founder, Duffey Cybercations Office: 813-926-3065 Cell: 813-363-1910 13014 Royal Avenue Odessa, FL 33556-5713 Please visit the Zapper homepage athttp://www.ZapLife.org

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Bill, Bob, Turk and all others:

I understand Duffey's hesitancy to forward the protocol suggestions but, like

many of you, I agree that they present a good option of allowing the fun and

silliness to continue without causing us to lose members. I have been lurking

(mostly silently) on this list for over 2 years and have enjoyed much of what I

have read but I also experienced a bit of a shock (not of the zapper variety)

when I returned from vacation to over 500 messages, 99% of them from this list.

By identifying your type of message in the subject line (including when replying

to someone else's message), all of us will be doing a service to the others on

the list. If I may add one other bit of advice (which you may take or

disregard), it is not necessary to reply to every message. If you send or reply

to a message on the list and then you receive your message in your in box as a

member of the , that should be confirmation enough that the others in the

group have also received it. I will now get off of my soap box on this matter.

To Sharon: I hope that you are still out there. I happen to agree that tough

love (including that which you expressed to Stacie) is sometimes appropriate and

I don't consider it a personal attack and I hope that Stacie did not either, at

least upon reflection. I also don't consider Duffey's response inappropriate

since it is his job to monitor and mediate this list as he sees fit.

I hope that this finds all of you well and that you are enjoying this hot but

beautiful summer. Me, I'm going for a bike ride tomorrow and will return to my

lurking behind the scenes here. Best wishes to the entire .

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Having the separate email address with has

been great since it keeps the Zaplist emails all

in one place and our other stuff separate. Only

the Zap-Stuff is with . No weeding. Becca

--- KIGreen816@... wrote:

> Bill, Bob, Turk and all others:

>

> I understand Duffey's hesitancy to forward the

> protocol suggestions but, like many of you, I

> agree that they present a good option of

> allowing the fun and silliness to continue

> without causing us to lose members. I have

> been lurking (mostly silently) on this list for

> over 2 years and have enjoyed much of what I

> have read but I also experienced a bit of a

> shock (not of the zapper variety) when I

> returned from vacation to over 500 messages,

> 99% of them from this list. By identifying

> your type of message in the subject line

> (including when replying to someone else's

> message), all of us will be doing a service to

> the others on the list. If I may add one other

> bit of advice (which you may take or

> disregard), it is not necessary to reply to

> every message. If you send or reply to a

> message on the list and then you receive your

> message in your in box as a member of the

> , that should be confirmation enough

> that the others in the group have also received

> it. I will now get off of my soap box on this

> matter.

>

> To Sharon: I hope that you are still out

> there. I happen to agree that tough love

> (including that which you expressed to Stacie)

> is sometimes appropriate and I don't consider

> it a personal attack and I hope that Stacie did

> not either, at least upon reflection. I also

> don't consider Duffey's response inappropriate

> since it is his job to monitor and mediate this

> list as he sees fit.

>

> I hope that this finds all of you well and that

> you are enjoying this hot but beautiful summer.

> Me, I'm going for a bike ride tomorrow and

> will return to my lurking behind the scenes

> here. Best wishes to the entire .

>

>

__________________________________________________

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" bill mahan " <billandmarthamahan@P...> wrote:

> Consider me on your side in how you want to run YOUR .

Thanks Bill... but while I started this service.... I honest believe

it's EVERYONES' . That's why I was so dogmatic about keeping

things friendly to all, if not warm & fuzzy.

Gotta go squeeze my bear. (OK it's a cat.)

Duffey

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  • 3 weeks later...

In a message dated 7/25/02 5:10:45 PM Eastern Daylight Time, duffey@... writes:

Hi everyone....

I hesitate to post this... considering the wood shed whooping many of you inflicted on me recently. Just so you know... I am resigned that some want to be sensitive to others and others do not... but I am tired of trying to mitigate what I see as problems. My life is much too busy to waste it taking the abuse many shipped to my email box last week. If it is your choice to condone rude behavior... have fun. But have fun without me checking in to see if someone needs my help.

Anyway... just thought I would send you all the note I got today. I think it explains why so many people are leaving the service. If ya'll want to do something positive to stem the flow of departures, that would be great. If you want to respond negatively to this fellow's idea.... do it some other way than sending a complaint to me... don't shoot the messenger!

Please allow me the privilege of making my case. Three quarters of the way thru April I stopped reading the Zaplist. My morning routine was coffee, , email, newspaper. But the daily average in April was 18+ a day and I didn't have the time to sit, day after day, and wade thru so many posts....no matter how much I want to. My understanding of the is that its primary

I have been in the hospital for the past 6 weeks, that is why I am responding to your note so late. I think the protocal is a wonderful idea. I was seriously thinking of leaving because I am just not interested in all the social conversation, not at this time anyway, Brilliant idea.

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See, I really don't get this. I come here for the conversation as

much as for the information. Part of what makes it work for me is

that I can be free to through out a social comment or a joke or

whatever. If I had to reread every post and make sure it fits some

information standard, I would not like it near so much.

And my answer for those of you who can't take the volume - go " no

mail " when you need a break, get daily digests instead of individual

messages or do as I do and read from the website where you can pick

and choose what you want to read. I understand the 'no-time/no-

energy' dilemma and have been there more than once. But instead of

telling others to stop posting, I stop reading for a while. It's

really not that big of a deal to pop ina nd out of a list when you

feel like it.

Bridget - hoping for more (not less) social chatter so I can get to

know y'all better.

>

> I have been in the hospital for the past 6 weeks, that is why I am

responding

> to your note so late. I think the protocal is a wonderful idea. I

was

> seriously thinking of leaving because I am just not interested in

all the

> social conversation, not at this time anyway, Brilliant idea.

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