Mother lets 2 year old walk away

June 25, 2002

http://thestarpress.com/tsp/news/local/02/jun/0625abandonedchild.php

June 26, 2002

Unbelievable!!! It makes me sick to think that any mother could do this but

unfortunately this kind of stuff seems to be happening more and more!

Mother lets 2 year old walk away

http://thestarpress.com/tsp/news/local/02/jun/0625abandonedchild.php

June 26, 2002

In a message dated 6/26/02 8:49:59 AM Central Daylight Time,

loree5@... writes:

> Unbelievable!!! It makes me sick to think that any mother could do this but

> unfortunately this kind of stuff seems to be happening more and more!

> ----- Original Message -----

>

Years ago I lived across the street from a woman who had 2 little kids

(No DS), about 2 and 3 if that, and she would lock them out in the front

yard. They had a fenced back yard. It was not a terribly busy street but

there was a sharp hill that cars would come over pretty fast and those kids

wandered the neighborhood. A school bus came over that hill one day and the

brakes squealed, just missed the kids. The driver laid on the horn till she

came out and he told her off. She took them in and a few minutes later they

were back out. They would cry and bang on the door so we knew they were

locked out.

Jessie, Mom to , 37 and the light of my life.

June 27, 2002

I am usually lurking howver this time I have to commit on the article. I

must agree with Loree on it being unbelievable. The only thing that little

girl is suffering from is having a stupid so and so excuse for a mother. The

mother could have at least put the child up for adoption on in foster care

....... in a safe place. Anything could have happend to that baby girl out

there alone, in this cruel world. I hate to think about it. There were other

options the mother could have taken .... safer ones.

Mom of Hassan 5 (enjoying his baby sister(DS) and Jihada 8mon (and bizzy)

>From: loree <loree5@...>

> <cindysue@...>,

>Subject: Re: Mother lets 2 year old walk away

>Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002 08:46:17 -0500

>

>Unbelievable!!! It makes me sick to think that any mother could do this but

>unfortunately this kind of stuff seems to be happening more and more!

> Mother lets 2 year old walk away

>

> http://thestarpress.com/tsp/news/local/02/jun/0625abandonedchild.php

>

June 27, 2002

correction, I meant comment not commit..... brain working faster than

fingers.

>From: loree <loree5@...>

> <cindysue@...>,

>Subject: Re: Mother lets 2 year old walk away

>Date: Wed, 26 Jun 2002 08:46:17 -0500

>

>Unbelievable!!! It makes me sick to think that any mother could do this but

>unfortunately this kind of stuff seems to be happening more and more!

> Mother lets 2 year old walk away

>

> http://thestarpress.com/tsp/news/local/02/jun/0625abandonedchild.php

>

June 27, 2002

In a message dated 6/27/2002 6:44:13 AM Central Daylight Time,

vsurbey@... writes:

> What resources are available where she lives?

>

Ok, here goes. This took place in Muncie, Indiana. Not 20 miles from me. I

found it on the front page of the paper, and it has made the Indianapolis

news every day since. There are the usual resources in this state. First

Steps, Respite care, everything. I don't know if the mother had found any of

these, but they do exist. The fact that she did it at all still troubles me.

She could have taken the baby to a fire department, hospital, whatever. We

have new laws that protect mothers from prosecution if they take their

unwanted child to one of these places, to ensure the safety of the child.

She made the choice to let the child to into a dangerous situation, and feels

NO remorse about it. It " occurred " to her that the child could have been

hurt or killed. That's it. She though no more about it, and I think she was

hoping for that.

I will however, on her behalf, say that in this state, as well as when we

lived in Ohio, nobody told me about the services available. Not one doctor,

hospital, nothing. I am trying to figure out how to get that message across

to the state. Yes, the resources are available, but they do no good if they

are kept quiet. I know there is no support group in my town, and haven't

heard if there is one in Muncie. I've asked, but found none. The closest

one is in Indy, that meets once a month. In my opinion, that should be a

great place to get information, but on the occasions I have called, to get

info, I get no return phone calls. Oh, well. (This is where I really thank

God I have found such a great place on line to get it!).

Sorry for being so long winded, but I felt that I should speak up and answer

some of those questions. Thanks!

Beth, Mom to Austin, 5/ds and Dakota, 5/ds

June 27, 2002

In a message dated 6/27/02 4:44:13 AM Pacific Daylight Time, vsurbey@...

writes:

>

> You know, I was shocked when I read this too, however, I wonder how much

> support the mom had. I would hate to judge until we knew the whole story.

> If supports were available, would she have known where to go for them?

>

Does anyone remember the situation back in Virginia where the parents

abandonned a special needs boy at the hospital? A more humane version of the

same thing... people were shocked but the parents said they were overwhelmed.

I, too, have to wonder how much support the mom had. She was living in a

trailer park... no mention if she was a single mom, or had any family near by.

I know we've had to fight every step of the way to get what we have, and I

don't take " no " for an answer. But I would guess that most people don't know

that there are all kinds of services available. What about respite, for

example? When was the last time someone OFFERED you respite?

- Becky

June 27, 2002

In a message dated 6/27/2002 9:26:03 AM Central Daylight Time, djackht writes:

>

> In a message dated 6/27/2002 6:44:13 AM Central Daylight Time,

> vsurbey@... writes:

>

> >> What resources are available where she lives?

>>

>

> Ok, here goes. This took place in Muncie, Indiana. Not 20 miles from me.

> I found it on the front page of the paper, and it has made the Indianapolis

> news every day since. There are the usual resources in this state. First

> Steps, Respite care, everything. I don't know if the mother had found any

> of these, but they do exist. The fact that she did it at all still

> troubles me. She could have taken the baby to a fire department, hospital,

> whatever. We have new laws that protect mothers from prosecution if they

> take their unwanted child to one of these places, to ensure the safety of

> the child. She made the choice to let the child to into a dangerous

> situation, and feels NO remorse about it. It " occurred " to her that the

> child could have been hurt or killed. That's it. She though no more about

> it, and I think she was hoping for that.

>

> I will however, on her behalf, say that in this state, as well as when we

> lived in Ohio, nobody told me about the services available. Not one

> doctor, hospital, nothing. I am trying to figure out how to get that

> message across to the state. Yes, the resources are available, but they do

> no good if they are kept quiet. I know there is no support group in my

> town, and haven't heard if there is one in Muncie. I've asked, but found

> none. The closest one is in Indy, that meets once a month. In my opinion,

> that should be a great place to get information, but on the occasions I

> have called, to get info, I get no return phone calls. Oh, well. (This is

> where I really thank God I have found such a great place on line to get

> it!).

>

> Sorry for being so long winded, but I felt that I should speak up and

> answer some of those questions. Thanks!

>

June 27, 2002

You know, I was shocked when I read this too, however, I wonder how much support

the mom had. I would hate to judge until we knew the whole story. If supports

were available, would she have known where to go for them?

We have so many parents here who are unable to connect because they often don't

have the information needed to do that. It sounds like this mom had already

gone through quite a bit, and although allowing her daughter to wander away and

not look for her is not the solution, and certainly needs intervention, is this

an act of desparation? Had she reached out and received nothing? What

resources are available where she lives?

So many questions and no answers. How many times have we been told that our

children's actions are as a result of bad parenting? That could have been the

same there.

Val in Winnipeg

I am usually lurking howver this time I have to commit on the article. I

must agree with Loree on it being unbelievable. The only thing that little

girl is suffering from is having a stupid so and so excuse for a mother. The

mother could have at least put the child up for adoption on in foster care

...... in a safe place. Anything could have >

email to:

-unsubscribe

June 27, 2002

Beth,

I think you need to start something up yourself! Most support groups start

small in people's basements and then grow from there.

When I lived in florida ( a small mistake for about 7 months of my life), I

started a support group with parents, teachers and therapists. From there I

got involved in other outreach. I was in another committee that was planning

to centralize all services throughout Florida for new parents of special need

children. I would have continued on that road if I didnt come back to NY.

But you are right, finding the resourses are usually very hard and

overwhelming. Just making the phone call to NDSS is a really hard step.

Usually that one call can hook people up to something in their area.

There was another program at the hospitals that was making interns more aware

and supportive in the lives of special needs kids and their families. But

there is not enough of that going around. The doctors are usually not a

good resource.

~ Mom to 11 DS and Diabetes Type 1 and 8 NY

June 27, 2002

In a message dated 6/27/2002 10:26:31 AM US Mountain Standard Time,

ckc@... writes:

> ? Remember that couple who brought their son to the hospital and left

> him there? They were prosecuted, weren't they?

I do NOT feel that what this mother did was right, but we have no idea what

she has tried in the past and we have no idea WHAT was going on. This is

obviously her calling out for help!

There are places and agencies who can help you with your children. There are

often safe places you can leave your children for a few days/weeks while you

are getting it together. There is also foster care and adoption. And with

all of these, you need to know WHERE to go to get the help and there is often

great stigma attached to this. Fingers point, people gasp, accusations are

thrown.

An example is this couple who " abandoned " their son. They had reached out so

many ways for help and didn't get it. This was the only way they could think

to get services for him and then they got punished for it anyway! Remember

the child that " fell " from the bridge several years ago? There was alot more

to that story that we don't know. Whether what these parents are doing is

right or wrong, it is letting us know that somehow they NEED MORE SUPPORT!

While we can sit here and say....How could a parent abandon their child?

(and I said it too!!!).... we need to realize that not everyone is in a

situation that we are in. Some of us have very supportive families, friends,

communities, even just talking to each other on this listserv. There are

people who DON'T have that and have no idea where to turn.

I would hope that this would be a wake up to all of us to REACH OUT! Make

sure your number is at hospitals, clinics, with sp needs groups as a support

for people whether it is to take their child for a couple of hours or to just

talk to them! If you see someone with a sp needs child TALK to them! The

worst that can happen to YOU is that you get the brush off.....and your

greeting and smile might be just what someone needs to make their day more

bearable.

We are the ones who REALLY know what our days are like....the good and the

bad. We are the ones who need to make sure that things change and services

are there and support is not only available but VISIBLE for those who don't

have the resources.

And with that, I will step OFF my soapbox and go back to lecturing my

children......LOL.

June 27, 2002

I do agree with you Val that she might not have had much support, but there are

many who do not have support and who do not let their children wander off and

then just forget about them. Could she not have taken this child to a hospital,

police dept, neighbors house or even a church. Unless this woman is mentally

ill, I don't think there is any excuse to just let a two year old wander off on

their own. I don't think this is an act of desparation but laziness. 'It is bad

parenting not to call the police if your child is missing, no if's, ands,or

but's. Two year olds do dangerous things if not attended to, that is why they

have parents. We as a society have begun to make to many excuses for people .

An admisinstrator in the foster care system said to me. " If we gave these poor

parents the money that we gave to the foster parents each month to care for

their children, then they would be better parents,. Not on drugs or neglectful,

etc.. Poverty drives them to neglect their children and do drugs to escape

their situation. " You could have driven a car into my mouth my jaw dropped so

low. Giving a crack addict money is not going to make him a better parent.

What kind of thinking is that!!! Poverty does not cause you to be a bad parent.

Free will and free choice do or do not.Why is it that some people who have

horrible backgrounds make it out to a better life. Free will and free choice.

They choose a better life and work to get it. We all need support and

encouragement but ultimately the decisions we make fall squarely on our own

shoulders. I understand exactly what you are saying val, and I don't totally

disagree with you, but in this case I still find it abhorrent that the decision

this mother made was to leave a two year old baby wandering alone, and

unprotected. Most mothers would lay down there lives for their children, no

matter what their personal situation.

Re: Mother lets 2 year old walk away

You know, I was shocked when I read this too, however, I wonder how much

support the mom had. I would hate to judge until we knew the whole story. If

supports were available, would she have known where to go for them?

We have so many parents here who are unable to connect because they often

don't have the information needed to do that. It sounds like this mom had

already gone through quite a bit, and although allowing her daughter to wander

away and not look for her is not the solution, and certainly needs intervention,

is this an act of desparation? Had she reached out and received nothing? What

resources are available where she lives?

So many questions and no answers. How many times have we been told that our

children's actions are as a result of bad parenting? That could have been the

same there.

Val in Winnipeg

I am usually lurking howver this time I have to commit on the article. I

must agree with Loree on it being unbelievable. The only thing that little

girl is suffering from is having a stupid so and so excuse for a mother. The

mother could have at least put the child up for adoption on in foster care

...... in a safe place. Anything could have >

email to:

-unsubscribe

June 27, 2002

I completely agree. The mother must have some sort of psychiatric issues. Kim

loree wrote:

> I do agree with you Val that she might not have had much support, but there

are many who do not have support and who do not let their children wander off

and then just forget about them. Could she not have taken this child to a

hospital, police dept, neighbors house or even a church. Unless this woman is

mentally ill, I don't think there is any excuse to just let a two year old

wander off on their own. I don't think this is an act of desparation but

laziness. 'It is bad parenting not to call the police if your child is missing,

no if's, ands,or but's. Two year olds do dangerous things if not attended to,

that is why they have parents. We as a society have begun to make to many

excuses for people . An admisinstrator in the foster care system said to me.

" If we gave these poor parents the money that we gave to the foster parents each

month to care for their children, then they would be better parents,. Not on

drugs or neglectful, etc.. Poverty drives them to neglect their children and do

drugs to escape their situation. " You could have driven a car into my mouth my

jaw dropped so low. Giving a crack addict money is not going to make him a

better parent. What kind of thinking is that!!! Poverty does not cause you to

be a bad parent. Free will and free choice do or do not.Why is it that some

people who have horrible backgrounds make it out to a better life. Free will

and free choice. They choose a better life and work to get it. We all need

support and encouragement but ultimately the decisions we make fall squarely on

our own shoulders. I understand exactly what you are saying val, and I don't

totally disagree with you, but in this case I still find it abhorrent that the

decision this mother made was to leave a two year old baby wandering alone, and

unprotected. Most mothers would lay down there lives for their children, no

matter what their personal situation.

> Re: Mother lets 2 year old walk away

>

> You know, I was shocked when I read this too, however, I wonder how much

support the mom had. I would hate to judge until we knew the whole story. If

supports were available, would she have known where to go for them?

>

> We have so many parents here who are unable to connect because they often

don't have the information needed to do that. It sounds like this mom had

already gone through quite a bit, and although allowing her daughter to wander

away and not look for her is not the solution, and certainly needs intervention,

is this an act of desparation? Had she reached out and received nothing? What

resources are available where she lives?

>

> So many questions and no answers. How many times have we been told that our

children's actions are as a result of bad parenting? That could have been the

same there.

>

> Val in Winnipeg

>

> I am usually lurking howver this time I have to commit on the article. I

> must agree with Loree on it being unbelievable. The only thing that little

> girl is suffering from is having a stupid so and so excuse for a mother.

The

> mother could have at least put the child up for adoption on in foster care

> ...... in a safe place. Anything could have >

> email to:

> -unsubscribe

>

June 27, 2002

In a message dated 6/27/2002 1:15:59 PM Central Standard Time,

Michdock@... writes:

> Whether what these parents are doing is

> right or wrong, it is letting us know that somehow they NEED MORE SUPPORT!

> While we can sit here and say....How could a parent abandon their child?

> (and I said it too!!!).... we need to realize that not everyone is in a

> situation that we are in. Some of us have very supportive families,

> friends,

> communities, even just talking to each other on this listserv. There are

> people who DON'T have that and have no idea where to turn.

HI

Im Back heehee a with a few comments on this thread While all that you say

might be true we still need to realize there are just EVIL people out there,

some disguised as Mom and Dads ....they come as child molesters, murders,

thieves and parents who abandon their children ......... hoping ill will fall

unto them. Our country is full of child neglect, parents are escaping

consequences using many of the excuses Ive heard here. IMHO any parent who

leaves their child a 2 yr. old in harms way on purposes JUST because THEY

cant deal is a criminal to me and needs to be punished. Lets think about the

children and NOT the parents circumstances. To be responsible does not

require a monitory amount. We demand it with the caregivers we leave our

children with.

Now with my opinions said heehee do we trust the paper for an accurate

story????? sorry I don't believe half of what I read any more, words are

turned etc..... so who really knows, the kid could have escaped and the moms

words could be fabricated

Kathy mom to Sara 10.............. Ive witnessed countless kids who have

been put in harms way........Ive heard toooooooo many excuses from the parents

June 27, 2002

> She could have taken the baby to a fire department, hospital, whatever.

>We

> have new laws that protect mothers from prosecution if they take their

> unwanted child to one of these places, to ensure the safety of the child.

I've heard about these laws, and I do believe they apply in my state as

well. I was under the impression, however, that they applied to infants

born to mothers who didn't want them, to prevent the dumping newborns into

trashbins that we've been hearing about. Do they apply to older children as

well? Remember that couple who brought their son to the hospital and left

him there? They were prosecuted, weren't they? Whatever happened to them,

anyway?

CK,

Mom to Ian (2/89),

(9/90),

and Rose (6/94)

June 27, 2002

In a message dated 6/27/2002 3:57:54 PM Central Daylight Time,

b4alltoday@... writes:

> Now with my opinions said heehee do we trust the paper for an accurate

> story????? sorry I don't believe half of what I read any more, words are

> turned etc..... so who really knows, the kid could have escaped and the

> moms

> words could be fabricated

>

Kathy, nope, it's not fabricated. It's been on the news nonstop. She really

wanted him to disappear. Of course, there was a mother this week in Indy

that gave her child a Zoloft, and told them to play by the pond/creek. The

child died. Blood, knives, feces, all were found throughout the

apartment...Yep, some parents are just EVIL!

Beth

June 27, 2002

Yes,, this is true, but one never knows how another is going to react to

situations. I hesitate to judge actions until I know the whole story and we may

never know that.

I agree, leaving the child to wander off into God know what danger is foolish,

irresponsible and just plain negligence. However, we don't know if there was an

agency involved with this mom prior to this, and we don't know how much or how

little she would have been aware of available services and support. Also, if

the child had significant medical issues, then one would hope (although even

here that hope is sometimes faint) that the medical people would at least be

able to give some guidance as to available services outside the medical field.

Some people just don't want to get involved and I think that although the mom

bears the largest responsibility for what happened to her little one, society

also needs to take a close look at itself and make some course corrections.

Val in Winnipeg where it is unbearably hot right now and getting hotter and I'm

working on the school bus this afternoon.