Guest guest Posted June 17, 2002 Report Share Posted June 17, 2002 OMG, Elaine...I would never even presume to know what to tell you. You have faced something that was a life changing event. Of course you are going to continue to miss your children. I'm so sorry that you have been through this and aren't finding the support you need to get through the rough times. It will never go away. I would hope that in time your adopted daughter will come to understand you and what an important part of her life you are. {{{{{Elaine}}}}} Christie *Momi* of Sara 9, Sabaa 6, Alia 5, Hana (ds) 3 mos and Lily the cat!!! On Mon, 17 Jun 2002 17:40:44 -0400 " Tubafour " <Tubafour@...> writes: >My husband doesn't understand why this > is difficult for me. You may not either and may tell me I'm being a > jerk for wanting to have a little say in the matter. You also may > think I'm morbid for wanting to discuss the wonderful children I > bore that were such an important part of my life and not forget > them. Thanks for listening. > Elaine ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 2002 Report Share Posted June 17, 2002 HI First you need to kick the folks in the rear who thinks you need to move on. I still mourn my fathers anniversary, in fact we will all be in Destin for HIS family reunion on his anniversary, you know he'll be discussed.........heehee he walked on water I too have a young adult who didn't listen to me....she does NOW lol her father passed away awhile back and she immediately got engaged.....to a real loser. Anyway to make a long story short Im a grandma now and loving it she is all so the best Mom Ive seen in ages even at her young age of 23. I could go on and on bragging about her, like how she makes more money then my sister with a teaching masters lol with only 1.5 yrs of college or that she's so thin and beautiful and happy to go through so much when it should have been a selfish time for her (college years are like that lol) but I wont brag lol Keep your chin up, sometimes all of a sudden they grow up enough for you to stand them heehee Kathy mom to Sara 10.........and 3 other kids Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 2002 Report Share Posted June 17, 2002 Elaine Certainly not morbid, I think your desire to talk about your children is very natural. After all, they are forever your children. My heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with you on this difficult anniversary. Sharon Anniversary/sad vent This is the anniversary of the death of my children. I realize it has been since 1988 and many people may tell me to move on (get over it) but certain days are still very difficult. was 13 and would be 27. I would probably be a grandmother by now. would be almost 22. She was almost 8. is the only birth child left. He has just now begun to talk about the loss of and . We adopted a daughter about a year and a half after this happened. She is now 18 and will be 19 in September. She is now engaged (which I think is ridiculously young) and it sometimes makes things worse when I look at her and see how little she thinks of my opinion and how difficult she can be sometimes. She just flunked out of college and I think she is marrying this boy to get out of the house. We told her that she must go through marriage classes and finance classes or we won't help pay for the wedding. She doesn't like my family (they haven't exactly been great to her) and doesn't care if they come. This is probably the only child I'll have to get married. I just had to talk to someone about all this. It is very difficult for me. My husband doesn't understand why this is difficult for me. You may not either and may tell me I'm being a jerk for wanting to have a little say in the matter. You also may think I'm morbid for wanting to discuss the wonderful! children I bore that were such an important part of my life and not forget them. Thanks for listening. Elaine Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 17, 2002 Report Share Posted June 17, 2002 Elaine, I am very sorry about the loss of your children. I dont think that anyone really ever gets over that, nor should you feel that you need to justify your feelings in any way. I love this list because it is the outlet some of us need to just vent and hopefully along the way someone will have a similiar situation as yours or just be there to listen. After 9/11, I wrote alot about the events to the list because i was getting so much support from not only this country, but around the world as well. I turned all the correspondence during that time into my journal and I will be writing a sermon to lay preach on August 11- 11 Months Later. I think that writing or whatever we are doing via email, is a very powerful tool to help us cope with the very difficult situations in our lives. My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time of your rememberance of your children. I hope you can find strength in knowing how well you have done raising and hope for the best with your daughter. ~ Mom to 11 DS and Diabetes Type 1 and 8 NY Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 2002 Report Share Posted June 18, 2002 you are in my thoughts. i cant even imagine how you are feeling but i can certainly sympathize. i think most men keep all their feelings inside and it is probably hard for him too. just wanted you to know that i was thinking about you. kerrie mom to ben 17ds and alex 14nda Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 2002 Report Share Posted June 18, 2002 Same here, . It is so cathartic for me to write. Even if it's just on a piece of scrap paper that will end up in the trash. Christie *Momi* of Sara 9, Sabaa 6, Alia 5, Hana 3 mos (DS/AV Canal Defect) and Lily the cat!!! On Tue, 18 Jun 2002 00:47:06 EDT linman42@... writes: > I think that writing or whatever we are doing via email, is a very > powerful > tool to help us cope with the very difficult situations in our > lives. > > ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 18, 2002 Report Share Posted June 18, 2002 Elaine, It's normal and healthy for you to occasionally think and talk about the loss of your children. We had a son who died in 1985. I don't dwell on it now like I did in 85 and 86, but sometimes some little thing will trigger the hurt all over again. In fact, just a couple of days ago something made me acutely feel the loss of my son and several other family members who have passed on. Losing a child is something you never get over; the mourning episodes just get shorter and farther apart. Empathizing with you. Bev Tubafour wrote: >This is the anniversary of the death of my children. I realize it has been since 1988 and many people may tell me to move on (get over it) but certain days are still very difficult. was 13 and would be 27. I would probably be a grandmother by now. would be almost 22. She was almost 8. is the only birth child left. He has just now begun to talk about the loss of and . > We adopted a daughter about a year and a half after this happened. She is now 18 and will be 19 in September. She is now engaged (which I think is ridiculously young) and it sometimes makes things worse when I look at her and see how little she thinks of my opinion and how difficult she can be sometimes. She just flunked out of college and I think she is marrying this boy to get out of the house. We told her that she must go through marriage classes and finance classes or we won't help pay for the wedding. She doesn't like my family (they haven't exactly been great to her) and doesn't care if they come. This is probably the only child I'll have to get married. I just had to talk to someone about all this. It is very difficult for me. My husband doesn't understand why this is difficult for me. You may not either and may tell me I'm being a jerk for wanting to have a little say in the matter. You also may think I'm morbid for wanting to discuss the wonderful children I bore that were such an important part of my life and not forget them. Thanks for listening. >Elaine > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 19, 2002 Report Share Posted June 19, 2002 Elaine, Why would you think we would think any of those things (like you're a " jerk " or " morbid " )?!?! Your feelings are your feelings and although, I have never lost children, I know that is one of my greatest fears and I can only imagine in my worst nightmares what it must be like for you. I would think of my children every day until the day I died and could see them again. I would expect no different from anyone else. {{{{{hugs}}}}} You can email me ANYTIME about them. I would love to hear more about your children. About ...I too, " flunked out of college " whatever that means...I just decided I wasn't ready to put the time into it and now I have gone back when it is my choice and have a 4.0 grade average! I got married at 19 years old and we are celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary this summer. =) Good luck with that one! ...heehee Take care, Kym ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ <<<My husband doesn't understand why this is difficult for me. You may not either and may tell me I'm being a jerk for wanting to have a little say in the matter. You also may think I'm morbid for wanting to discuss the wonderful children I bore that were such an important part of my life and not forget them. Thanks for listening. Elaine>>> ________________________________________________________________ GET INTERNET ACCESS FROM JUNO! Juno offers FREE or PREMIUM Internet access for less! Join Juno today! For your FREE software, visit: http://dl.www.juno.com/get/web/. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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