Sexual vilence within marriage

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SEXUAL VIOLENCE WITHIN MARRIAGE

Khan, M. E., Townsend, Ranjana Sinha and Seema Lakhanpal..

Sexual violence within marriage. Centre for Operations Research and

Training (CORT) Vadodara, India.

Uttar Pradesh

BACKGROUND

Till recently the study of sexual behaviour was an untouchable

subject in India. The sensitivity of the subject and difficulties

in data collection discouraged most social scientists from

exploring this area of human behaviour. With the rapid spread of

AIDS in India, the study of sexual behaviour has gained importance

and both national and international agencies, as part of the AIDS

control programme, are encouraging research on sexual behaviour.

Despite this, the few studies that are available on the subject are

mostly related to those who are at high risk – commercial sex

workers and their clients, truck drivers and migrant labourers.

Studies on sexual behaviour of the general population, particularly

those living in rural areas are rare, while issues like sexual

violence, which puts women and adolescent girls are at high risk for

unwanted pregnancies, STD and HIV/AIDS, are almost completely

overlooked. This paper attempts to look into women's experiences of

sexual coercion and violence within marriage.

OBJECTIVES AND METHODOLOGY

The present study was a part of an in-depth qualitative study

carried out by the CORT on women's decision-making when faced with

an unwanted pregnancy and the factors that influence their decision

for seeking abortion. The study was conducted in two villages in

central Uttar Pradesh. Using a systematic random sampling method,

women in every fifth house in the village were selected for the

study. Detailed data was collected on unwanted pregnancy, abortion

seeking behaviour, contraception and sexual behaviour including

sexual abuse. A total of 122 currently married women were

informally interviewed, which was spread over several visits. On an

average the Research Assistants who were extensively trained in

qualitative research, spent 8-10 hours with every informant

to collect all the relevant data. Of the 122 informants, 115

answered questions on sexual behaviour.

KEY FINDINGS

All women were married before they attained puberty. However in

most cases (103 out of 115), gauna (cohabitation) took place only

after the women had started menstruating. Most of them came to know

about menstruation only after they experienced their first period,

and few women understood its relevance to marriage and childbirth.

" I was married when I was just 13 years old. My period started just

a day before my marriage took place. I did not know what was

happening to me, when I saw the bleeding, I got very scared and

started crying and told my mother…,At that time how do I to know

how it was related to marriage or pregnancy? Nobody told me. " – a

21-year-old, illiterate woman.

Table 1: Knowledge of women at the time of their `gauna' about sex

and reproduction:

Reproductive knowledge

Sex life which takes place after marriage

Did Women have knowledge?

YES-18 NO- 82 TOTAL- 115

How a woman becomes pregnant?

YES-4 NO- 96 TOTAL- 115

How a woman delivers a child?

YES-4 NO- 96 TOTAL- 115

At the time of their marriage, most women were ignorant about sex

life, pregnancy and delivery (table 1) and were mentally unprepared

for the experience. The few who reported they had vague idea about

life after marriage from other married relatives were mostly told

to fulfil all their husbands' demands.

" I had a vague idea about the sexual relationship. My bhabhi

(brother's wife) told me a little about it before my gauna. She

said that this was an inevitable part of a man-woman relationship

after marriage. She also advised me to do whatever he says and that

I should not say `no' to him any time. I would say that my bhabhi

tried to prepare me mentally about things, which happen after

marriage. Still I felt so embarrassed. It was painful and I

hated it...I cried a lot when he left the room. " – a 19-year-old

woman, educated up to class 7.

For many, the first sexual encounter was frightening and forced,

as they were not prepared for it and most of them were very young

girls in an unfamiliar place and with unfamiliar people. Moreover,

social pressure also work to immediately consummate the marriage

and start a family.

" When I first came in contact (had intercourse) with my husband, I

knew nothing about sex. I was sleeping with my jethani (wife of

husbands' elder brother), when she left the room and sent my

husband in. I was embarrassed and just ran away to my mother-in-law.

Then both my jethani and mother-in-law pushed me into the room by

force and locked the door from outside. " – a 32-year-old,

illiterate mother of four.

The frequency of intercourse was on an average 3-4 times a week

for young women aged 15-20 years (or those who were married for

less than 5 years). It declined with age as it dropped to 1-2 times

a week for women aged 26-30 and 31-35, but increased to twice a week

for women aged 36 years and more. Probing revealed that older

husbands, who are less busy with work, seek sexual relations more

frequently.

Out of 115 women, 98 answered questions on sexual coercion. Of

these 67 (68 percent) women reported sexual coercion – 21 percent

reported physical violence, 14 percent reported anger, while the

remaining 32 percent did not provide further details. Whenever

women refused sex, their husbands' reaction was mostly to remind

them angrily - " What else have I married you for? " " What good are

you? If you cannot do this much for me…! " or threaten to go to

other women or to tell the women to go back to their natal home.

Majority of the women (70 percent) submitted to their husbands'

demand for sex, either out of fear that their husbands would act on

these threats or out of a sense of duty that they should `serve'

their husbands. It was also found that more women submitted to

their husbands' demand if their husbands reacted violently.

While a majority of women submit to their husband's wish, 30

percent were generally able to resist sexual coercion by their

husbands. The protective mechanisms include: a threat to start

screaming, " endangering his prestige " , threatening suicide, if

forced to have sex, waking up young children who generally sleep

with them and reporting false or prolonged menstrual period (see

box).

How Women Resist Coercion

" When I try to resist, he hits me with whatever he can lay his hands

on. But when I say, if I start yelling and screaming, what respect

will you have left? He leaves me. He wouldn't do it at the risk of

his reputation. "

- 21-year-old woman, educated up to class 3

" He gets angry, but he can't force me now. Whenever I see what he's

up to and I am not in a mood, I wake my child up. As it is, I make

him sleep between us. What can he do? Earlier when he used force, I

couldn't do anything. "

- 25-year-old, illiterate woman

" Sometimes I stop him by lying that I have a prolonged menstruation.

He just gets angry and leaves me alone but sulks and doesn't talk of

days. "

- 30-year-old, illiterate woman

Generally refusal to yield to husband's coercion is found from

relatively younger women, but not before having spent a few years

(3 or more) of married life. In the initial stage of their married

life, they were helpless. According to them, it was the only way to

get the closeness and support of their husbands in their in-laws'

house, which is traditionally known for being difficult and

demanding of daughters-in-law.

Often women's resistance to sex, and the resultant sexual violence

stem from their fear of unwanted pregnancy. It was found that most

of the women reporting sexual violence from their husbands had

experienced one or two unwanted pregnancies.

RECOMMENDATIONS

The first, immediate, and perhaps the most important measure would

be to introduce family life education through different channels and

forums to prepare adolescent boys and girls for married life,

reproduction and contraception. Such education should address

gender issues, particularly violence and sexual coercion. At the

same time there is a need to change the attitudes of communities

and families regarding the gender and reproductive roles of women

and their rights.

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