Melinda

[Guest guest]

Hi, Joni!

I like your idea of doing something nice for yourself everyday. I am

getting better at that. In fact, we have a local coffee bar (like

Starbucks, but better) that is making quite a profit off of my

misery. I do know that if I don't take some time for me, I will go

nuts. As 's problems have escolated, my behavoir has

degenerated. I can hardly recognize myself when I am in a

real " frustration fit " . Poor Jeff also suffers from my moods. But I

am not going to be a victim anymore. As I told , the victory

must be his. I asked him if he wanted to play on a particular soccer

team and his dad talked the coach into letting him on the team, how

would he feel. He acknowelged " not very good " . I asked him how he

would feel if he tried out for that team and made it on his own.

Well, the answer was obvious.

This is so scary as I realize that may well end up in the

hospital. I don't know what I would do without the advice and

support of this group!!

Melinda S.

Dallas

>

>

> > Hi, . Great advise. Joni and others have reitterated the

same

> > philosophy. I am now out of the eating disorder business. This

> > afternoon, when balked at eating an afternoon snack, I

handed

> > in my notice. I told him that from now on his eating disorder

was

> > HIS responsibility. When he felt bad enough or collapsed, then

he

> > might be willing to suffer through the anxiety of " being a

glutton or

> > out of control " . I am no longer a part of this. from PA

was

> > kind enough to share the experience that her daughter had in a

> > residential facility...I printed those for . I told him

he

> > might have to hit rock bottom, before he started to bounce back

up,

> > but it was now HIS DEAL. He is pretty scared. Tonight at

dinner, he

> > left half of his meal and was waiting for me to tell him to

finish

> > it. I DON'T THINK SO! He stood to leave the table with his

plate

> > in his hands...just standing there...ah, ha! " this is a test, " I

> > thought. AND I PASSED! He asked, " Mom, is it OK for me to leave

> > this? " I just told him that his eating was now his

responsibility.

> > He sat down and finished his meal. So this is our first

victory...me-

> > giving up responsibility and -tenatively taking it on.

Thanks

> > so much you guys for giving me the backbone that I so sorely need!

> > With much humble gratitude,

> > Melinda

> > PS: , have a great time at the ocean...I'm SO jealous!

> >

[Guest guest]

Joni,

I know what you mean about putting your life on hold until this

problem gets fixed. We had planned on selling the house this spring

and moving into something bigger (we are really cramped here, and I

have wanted to do it for a LONG TIME). Well, Joe FINALLY

agreed...the neighborhood is really changing here. Than OCD hit and

seemed to be getting progressively worse. The doctor bills and med

bills and possible hospitalization, etc. Everything stopped...I was

so depressed because I thought, " I will never get out of here now " .

But just recently, I decided my sanity was at stake...the

neighborhood continues to worsen...full steam ahead. Someway or

another, it will work out. I can't NOT do this! So I am painting,

and painting, and painting and...when I am finished, I am going to

work and sticking a For Sale sign in the front yard. Just like you,

I have earned it. You have given me such strength and insight. I

think I was raised to always think of myself last.

I also can relate to your comment about your " normal " friends. Can

such trivial issues really have an impact on someone's life? And

yet, I know that before OCD, I was right there with them. Maybe that

is what I am supposed to get out of this journey...

Thanks for your encouragement!

Melinda

> In a message dated 8/21/01 9:32:18 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

JSh1000@a...

> writes:

>

>

> > But I

> > am not going to be a victim anymore. As I told , the

victory

> > must be his.

>

> Wow. You've really come a long way, Melinda-- in just a few short

months.

> I'm throwing away my 'victim hat' too. I felt like a SLAVE to

's OCD

> for a long time. I quit my job to help him get well--- and I don't

think

> that solved a thing. I think it made his symptoms ESCALATE because

I became

> his emotional crutch. When I was employed, he had NO CHOICE--- he

had to

> face his problems.

> But-- 'That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger' and I WILL

survive!

> Once I get him back in school, I'm going to take my days and ENJOY

MYSELF.

> I'VE EARNED IT!! Then, I'll work on setting some goals, like taking

those

> cool classes that have been on HOLD for a long time, or finally

dusting off

> those brochures for the bicycling club, canoe trips and white water

rafting,

> traveling, a day at the beach... things like that. Part of my own

> frustration is FEELING DEPRIVED. I've been so over-involved in

trying to

> help my son, that I forgot about me.

> We've really been through it, haven't we? I'm finding that I can't

relate to

> many of my friends who have 'normal' lives. I don't even tell them

what I've

> been through anymore because I'm met with comments like this 'Oh--

I don't

> know what to say.' Of course, I get to hear all about

their 'problems' like

> 'I'm tired of waiting for my new furniture that I ordered. It's so

> frustrating!' (poor baby) Or... " I'm so mad. My husband won't

take me

> on that cruise that I so desperately need. " (SHE needs a cruise?

> pullllease!)

> My bad attitude tells me that I need to Take Care of Myself even

more. I'm

> COUNTING the days till school starts!! I can't wait.

> Joni

[Guest guest]

Joni:

Boy, I hear you loud and clear!!! I've stopped talking to my friends about -- they just don't get it. They talk about how their kid is doing in honors classes, all the sports their doing, all of their kids friends and what they're doing. I'd give anything for to be able be on a basketball team, have ONE good friend, take a class w/o fumbling, stop being picked on. If they only knew what we go through they'd realize on how petty their problems are. A neighbor vented to me how her son has started to "talk back" to her -- geez, I wish that was all I had to worry about.

Thank goodness we have each other to vent to -- people who understand.

Tamra

(who needed to vent)

Re: Re: Melinda

In a message dated 8/21/01 9:32:18 PM Eastern Daylight Time, JSh1000@... writes:

But I am not going to be a victim anymore. As I told , the victory must be his. Wow. You've really come a long way, Melinda-- in just a few short months. I'm throwing away my 'victim hat' too. I felt like a SLAVE to 's OCD for a long time. I quit my job to help him get well--- and I don't think that solved a thing. I think it made his symptoms ESCALATE because I became his emotional crutch. When I was employed, he had NO CHOICE--- he had to face his problems. But-- 'That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger' and I WILL survive! Once I get him back in school, I'm going to take my days and ENJOY MYSELF. I'VE EARNED IT!! Then, I'll work on setting some goals, like taking those cool classes that have been on HOLD for a long time, or finally dusting off those brochures for the bicycling club, canoe trips and white water rafting, traveling, a day at the beach... things like that. Part of my own frustration is FEELING DEPRIVED. I've been so over-involved in trying to help my son, that I forgot about me. We've really been through it, haven't we? I'm finding that I can't relate to many of my friends who have 'normal' lives. I don't even tell them what I've been through anymore because I'm met with comments like this 'Oh-- I don't know what to say.' Of course, I get to hear all about their 'problems' like 'I'm tired of waiting for my new furniture that I ordered. It's so frustrating!' (poor baby) Or... "I'm so mad. My husband won't take me on that cruise that I so desperately need." (SHE needs a cruise? pullllease!) My bad attitude tells me that I need to Take Care of Myself even more. I'm COUNTING the days till school starts!! I can't wait. Joni You may subscribe to the OCD-L by emailing listserv@... . In the body of your message write: subscribe OCD-L your name. You may subscribe to the Parents of Adults with OCD List at parentsofadultswithOCD-subscribe . You may subscribe to the OCD and Homeschooling List at ocdandhomeschooling-subscribe . You may change your subscription format or access the files, bookmarks, and archives for our list at . Our list advisors are Tamar Chansky, Ph.D., Aureen Pinto Wagner, Ph.D., and Dan Geller, M.D. Our list moderators are Birkhan, Kathy Hammes, Jule Monnens, Gail Pesses, Kathy , and Jackie Stout. Subscription issues or suggestions may be addressed to Louis Harkins, list owner, at lharkins@... .

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Jackie! It is so easy to become an armchair therapist

because we want so badly for our kids to get well. The strength you

have shown in decisions about have helped me trememdously.

Thanks for all of your support.

Melinda

> Dear Melinda,

> I want to add my bit to those praising you for that big step

forward.

> Ultimately it has to be 's fight and better that he starts

while he

> still has the support of living at home with family. And I also

feel that it

> relives a lot of pressure on you to realize that you do not have to

be

> constantly monitoring . As Dr Claiborn told me one time, I

should not

> be trying to be 's therapist, but should rather be watching

for progress

> and cheering it when it comes!

> Jackie

[Guest guest]

Hi Melinda, even before you resigned from his eating problem, he could have

ended up in a hospital. " Battling " with you for control over his eating

probably took up a lot of precious energy from both of you--and

wouldn't be the first teenager to do something against his own wishes to

spite his mom. I know my daughter is quite a bit younger, but her doc

talks a lot about secondary gains--what Kel may be getting out of a behavior

that is actually working against her own interests. Now that you are no

long pushing him about his eating, the focus can go back where it can do the

most good--what does want to do, what is he willing to do, to

improve his situation? All his energy can go there, rather than resisting

Mom.

Kathy R. in Indiana

----- Original Message -----

From: <JSh1000@...>

> This is so scary as I realize that may well end up in the

> hospital. I don't know what I would do without the advice and

> support of this group!!

[Guest guest]

Thanks Barb.

I did stop by the hospital to see him. but i couldnt stay ..... I felt

awful he didnt even know me...

But i was there and i said hi and talked a little bit..... but like you

said there is nothing more i can do for him. So we are going and im going

to try my damnedest to have a good time... Im alive and i need to try to

start acting that way.

You enjoy your vacation too! Great that your going alone........ romantic

hehe.

Thanks for the well wishes.

Hugs,

Melinda

At 10:02 PM 9/6/01 -0400, you wrote:

Hello

Melinda! I know exactly how you feel about going on vaca when there

is someone terminally ill in the family.....My mother-in-law, went into a

coma last year 4 days before we were to leave for vaca.....the docs &

nurses said that we should go.....There was nothing that we could do for

her.....we did go, but took the big guilt trip with us. When we got

back, my husband went to see her & she died 4 hours later. We

felt guilty for going, but honestly, we needed a break, as we were

dealing with her illness for 3 years prior to her death.

This Sunday, my hubby & I are

leaving for the ocean for 3 days, Our boys are staying with his

sister. This is the 1st time we will be alone for 10 & 1/2

years......very much looking forward to this....but....like you, I'm

taking my monthly with me

too>>>>>>LOL>>>> Talk about having

things in common.....Whew!!! LOL

Anyways....you take care, try to enjoy

your time away...I know it will be difficult.......hang in there &

write when you get back......have a safe trip.!

Love,

Barb

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“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to

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~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Well. I went to the Corvette museum..... I tried to get a sample corvette

but they just wouldn't go for it. I brought back a new shot glass for my

collection( funny i dont even drink lol) some post cards.... a T- Shirt.

Some pictures i took with my digital camera. I had a wonderful time and

the people I met were all lovely. We stayed with my friend and his

wife Nikki. Ive known them for 3 years ( but only on the computer this

was our FIRST face to face meeting)

I really did have a great time. Thanks for asking .

My grandfather is in a nursing home. From what i understand its the total

PITS. They are trying to move him to the one where my grandmother is at.

Then i think everybody will be happy all the way around.

Hugs

Melinda

At 05:59 PM 9/17/01 -0400, you wrote:

How

was your vacation and what souvenirs did you get for all of us???

How is your grandfather???/

Chelle

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“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to

what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to

what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your

life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Hi Melinda!

Glad to hear that you enjoyed your vacation. Can you share with us some pics you took with your digital camera?

Ling

Re: Melinda

Well. I went to the Corvette museum..... I tried to get a sample corvette but they just wouldn't go for it. I brought back a new shot glass for my collection( funny i dont even drink lol) some post cards.... a T- Shirt. Some pictures i took with my digital camera. I had a wonderful time and the people I met were all lovely. We stayed with my friend and his wife Nikki. Ive known them for 3 years ( but only on the computer this was our FIRST face to face meeting)I really did have a great time. Thanks for asking .My grandfather is in a nursing home. From what i understand its the total PITS. They are trying to move him to the one where my grandmother is at. Then i think everybody will be happy all the way around. :)HugsMelindaAt 05:59 PM 9/17/01 -0400, you wrote:

How was your vacation and what souvenirs did you get for all of us??? How is your grandfather???/ Chelle

[Guest guest]

Joni and Melinda,

A friend and i have a pact - since our kids are " Eccentrics " (read

big consumers of the mental health system), they can be friends,

BUT NO MIXING OF GENE POOLS!!!

be careful what you wish for!!! wendy, in canada

============================================

writes:

> > > Joni,

> > Has ever obsessed about parenting a child with OCD and

> dying a slow and painful death? ;-)

> > >

> Melinda---

> That's what I'm waiting for. I'm predicting that will ONLY

> be happy the day he hooks up with another hypochondriac (in the

form of a girlfriend) and together they can obsess on THIS illness

and THAT disease for the REST of their lives in total bliss.

Hopefully, I will be living 3000 miles away from him by that time!!

> You are TOO funny. Thanks for the laugh.

> Joni

_______________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> Joni and Melinda,

>

> A friend and i have a pact - since our kids are " Eccentrics " (read

> big consumers of the mental health system), they can be friends,

> BUT NO MIXING OF GENE POOLS!!!

>

> be careful what you wish for!!! wendy, in canada

LOL, ! Ain't THAT the truth. I guess I should have insisted

(18, ADHD+mild OCD) stay AWAY, FAR AWAY from his current

girlfriend. I'm sure they're THINKING about mixing up that gene

pool! While I'm thinking " Please! It's POLLUTED enough

already!! "

You see, his girlfriend is opposite from in ONE helpful way.

While he's ~wired~ and can't sit still, she's the calm before and

after the storm. She's very relaxed and 'laid back.' However (ahem,

and here's where that gene pool comes in)... she has some anxieties

about getting CANCER!!! (gawd, I can't get away from it!!) So, I'm

sure she's got some OCD because she told me she was obsessed about

getting cancer when she was a little girl because an uncle's FRIEND

died of it. And, you should see her PANIC when she gets a bump/rash

(aka BUG BITE) on her skin. Naturally, her and freak out

together and HAVE to go to the emergency room to 'check it out'

because 'ack! it might be CANCER!!!'

Good grief. I told ... " If you ever decide to have children,

PLEASE do me a favor and wait till I'm dead first, k? "

Joni

[Guest guest]

Hi barb!

Glad to see you got a monitor so you could write again. IM not so good

today. not so good for the last week. Not sleeping, aching all over, even

my jaw hurts.. its weird.

Anyway, We live in Massachusetts. We dont know what we want to do but our

land lord/lady are selling their house and moving to this appartment. So

we will have to move, if not this month who knows when. We've talked

about living all over. we just dont know what we are going to do yet.

We've talked about another place in MA, we've talked about Kentucky,

Vermont. New Hampshire........ all over.

Sorry you've been feeling so bummed. When my husband didnt have a job for

a while we were both worried too. But he has alot of skills so he worked

as a temp till he found something steady.

SO.... Hugs. i dont know what else to say.

But im glad that your back.

Melinda

At 10:46 PM 10/4/01 -0400, you wrote:

Hello

Melinda! How are you feeling today?? I'm sorry to hear that

you might have to move....what state do you live in now & where do

you think you'd like to move to?? You are not alone in the husband

looking for new job, moving far away, & family driving you

nuts....department.....I'm right there with you....I have been wanting to

move far away also....Kinda scared to though....My husband has not worked

since Feb. & we are living on my income alone....which is not

much....I have been in the dumps lately also with all of this stress

& not knowing if & when my hubby will find work....Just thinking

of you & thought I'd drop you a line....take care!

Love,

Barb

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“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to

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life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

OHIO !!!! Their father has cancel two Neurology appointments, Dentist cleanings for two and Cardiologist appointment for the girls so far !!!! Bre Still ill and he told them he Isn't wasting a $10.00 co pay to just take her to the Dr. when she will get over it eventually anyways !!!!!!!!! This is why I am so stressed out ( And he is considered a Good father !!!!!!!!

How have you been doing?????

{{{ Special Hugs }}}

Helen

Geeze..... Isnt this considered NEGLECT????? What state do you live, so i can know never to go there and have children as they seem to have 0% Rights.

Melinda

Sig's By: Softly Whispers

[Guest guest]

Well you should have swung my way ) I live outside of Toledo !!!

Hugs Helen

ACK!!!! i just went thru ohio..... I thought i was gonna get killed... Driving thru Cincinatti was AWFUL!

Melinda

Sig's By: Softly Whispers

[Guest guest]

Well you should have swung my way ) I live outside of Toledo !!!

Hugs Helen

ACK!!!! i just went thru ohio..... I thought i was gonna get killed... Driving thru Cincinatti was AWFUL!

Melinda

Sig's By: Softly Whispers

[Guest guest]

Its so sad.. I feel awful for those kids. No offense to anybody but as

for adults i could care less, its the children. they are the innocent

ones. Why do adults do this kinda crap to kids. for the rest of their

lives they are going to have problems from all this crap they are being

put thru from their so called father....

It must be so hard for you to not just go over there and take them from

him. Course you would be the one who was punished. I suspect even if he

was beating them to close to death they would still side with him.....

Its funny, I just red recently that Ohio was one of the worst states for

Animal rights too. Animals- Children, two creatures ( for lack of a

better word) that us Adult Humans are supposed to protect and love.

I dont mean to go on but It makes me so mad. I really think they should

come up with another word to use when talking about US, people.........

Human and Humane just doesnt seem to fit our species anymore.

Melinda

At 10:16 PM 10/21/01 -0400, you wrote:

OHIO !!!!

Their father has cancel two Neurology appointments, Dentist cleanings for

two and Cardiologist appointment for the girls so far !!!!

Bre Still ill and he told them he Isn't wasting a $10.00 co pay to just

take her to the Dr. when she will get over it eventually anyways

!!!!!!!!! This is why I am so stressed out ( And he is

considered a Good father !!!!!!!!

How have you been doing?????

{{{ Special Hugs

}}}

Helen

Geeze..... Isnt this considered NEGLECT????? What state do you live, so i

can know never to go there and have children as they seem to have 0%

Rights.

Melinda

Sig's

By: Softly Whispers

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life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

hehe no way..... You could have heard my sigh of relief when i finally

saw the state line and knew I was done with Ohio..... and then when we

went back home we purposely went a different way to stay OUT of ohio...

Not that the driving was better in the other states. I swear they must be

working on every single high way from mass to Tenn...

Melinda

At 10:54 PM 10/21/01 -0400, you wrote:

Well you should

have swung my way ) I live outside of Toledo !!!

Hugs Helen

ACK!!!! i just went thru ohio..... I thought i was gonna get killed...

Driving thru Cincinatti was AWFUL!

Melinda

Sig's

By: Softly Whispers

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life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Hi Jessi...

Im doin. Im feeling crappy. but it could be worse. Lately every morning i

wake up with the ring finger on my left hand aching something fierce. Alot

of hand pain lately. And i cant seem to make this cold or whatever it is go

away. I get up stairs, into bed and and immediately stuffy and phlegm

starts to build up in my throat. By morning im coughing up globs of goo and

my nose is runing and im sneezing like crazy.

other than that im doin... trying to be ok... It really sucks when stupid

commercials on the tv make me bawl. And ever single time i get in the dam

car i hear some MORE stuff about Sept 11. and all the victims and ect......

and then i want to start bawling all over again.

So im just doin..... hating humans, and being angry about alot of things.

Fearing the move i know im going to have to eventually make. And knowing im

going to have to pack this house up and move..... Oh and last week my fish

died. dont know if i mentioned that.. we had an impromptu burrial at 1 in

the morn in the back yard for my bugsy.

Sorry to hear about your little adventure in the fire area...... Fire is

scarry. Im glad you all got out ok. and nothing was seriously damaged.

Sheesh i sure did go on here lol

HUGS good luck with school. I really applaud you trying to go. ( I always

wanted to run from it)

Melinda

At 08:55 AM 10/22/01 -0400, you wrote:

> <<I swear they must be working on every single high way from mass to

>Tenn...>>

>

>LOL Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Tennessee were the worst for road work

>it took FOREVER to get into NC, so close but SOOOOOOOOO far with all the

>road work going on we were a day late getting here because of all the road

>work and in the heat with three animals and three people, it was NOT fun

>LOL, but Oklahoma, Arkansas and Tennessee are also really pretty so it was

>worth it lol. How are you doing today Melinda? Take care ) Talk to you

>later.

>

>Jessi

>

>

>

>

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[Guest guest]

<<I swear they must be working on every single high way from mass to

Tenn...>>

LOL Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Tennessee were the worst for road work

it took FOREVER to get into NC, so close but SOOOOOOOOO far with all the

road work going on we were a day late getting here because of all the road

work and in the heat with three animals and three people, it was NOT fun

LOL, but Oklahoma, Arkansas and Tennessee are also really pretty so it was

worth it lol. How are you doing today Melinda? Take care ) Talk to you

later.

Jessi

[Guest guest]

( I'm so sorry Melinda (

<<Fearing the move i know im going to have to eventually make. And knowing

im going to have to pack this house up and move.....>>

Packing EWWW lol i must say NOT the most fun thing to do, but I've always

loved to unpack ) lol kinda like Christmas because i always forget what

is in what box and then you find things you even forgot you had all

together that you didn't see while packing it ) Then fixing up your new

place just the way you want it ) i like that part LOL and for me after

everything is moved in it is about the only time my room is totally neat

and tidy LOL (doesn't stay that way long though LOL) As for the moving (

not always the best thing and not when you HAVE to ) but it can also an

adventure. We've been here 3 months now (lol and still not all the way

unpacked)and this was the best move (as much as i miss my little buddies in

Ca) i wouldn't move back. 17 moves in 17 years is enough for me!! LOL Nana

does want to move again she is looking at some houses today (i had enough

of that in Feb. of this year I'm going to stay right here and find some

school work to do! LOL) ) If she wants to move again, hey, lol what's one

more right. )I don't go to school i have a teacher that comes here three

times a week, I'm on home bound teaching. I did like going to school never

ran from that, now the kids at school LOL that's another story i ran from

them! LOL But i like to learn always have. I'd better get going. Everything

will work out just fine Melinda ) You take care K )

Jessi

PS :'o( So sorry to hear about Bugsy!!!{{{HUGS}}}

[Guest guest]

Thanks jessi....... It no fun packing 180 or so barbie dolls hehe.

Melinda

At 09:41 AM 10/22/01 -0400, you wrote:

>( I'm so sorry Melinda (

[Guest guest]

Melinda,

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so badly. Is there anything

that I can do to help you? Also how is it going with the

medicines for your diabetes? They just put my mother on insulin

again in addition to the meds she was on. When they checked her

bloodsugar it was 500 when she was there Thurs. But of course

she had a regular sweetened soda but her blood sugars have been

sitting around 300 and 400 until that 500 reading popped up.

Thank goodness she was at the dr when they found the reading.

=====

Kristy

http://www.geocities.com/sokokl/kristyspersonalpage.html

Hoping to be a nurse soon but for now just a Medical Secretary who does a lot of

learning from reading on the Net, books, my dr(s), as well as sharing my own

personal experiences.

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Yes Melinda, it is a shame as to the way our children have to suffer because of the laws...The children are begging to come home, but that is not going to make any matter in the courts, as they will go by the law books... We have had children put back into homes here in our area, just because the courts say they want familys to stay together, and these familys were very abusive to the children and they ended up dying by the parents hands because of it ( The parent ends up in prison and the child ends up dead ( Is that Justice ???

I'm sorry, I just am not handling all this very well...From Happy go Lucky children having not a care in the world to all they do now is worry and cry, is so heart breaking...

Yes if I could I would take them from there and he would never see them again!!! But what life would that be for them, hiding on the run all the time ( Its a no win situation ( All I can do is hope and Pray that they look at the entire case and rule a fair ruling on the evidence, not on the law books...

Hugs

Helen

Its so sad.. I feel awful for those kids. No offense to anybody but as for adults i could care less, its the children. they are the innocent ones. Why do adults do this kinda crap to kids. for the rest of their lives they are going to have problems from all this crap they are being put thru from their so called father....

It must be so hard for you to not just go over there and take them from him. Course you would be the one who was punished. I suspect even if he was beating them to close to death they would still side with him..... Its funny, I just red recently that Ohio was one of the worst states for Animal rights too. Animals- Children, two creatures ( for lack of a better word) that us Adult Humans are supposed to protect and love.

I dont mean to go on but It makes me so mad. I really think they should come up with another word to use when talking about US, people......... Human and Humane just doesnt seem to fit our species anymore.

Melinda

Sig's By: Softly Whispers

[Guest guest]

Hey! We're not All bad !!! ) The turnpike here at our end has had constrution all summer. Don't know if they are done yet or not... The detours are terrible in the city!!!

Hugs Helen

hehe no way..... You could have heard my sigh of relief when i finally saw the state line and knew I was done with Ohio..... and then when we went back home we purposely went a different way to stay OUT of ohio... Not that the driving was better in the other states. I swear they must be working on every single high way from mass to Tenn...

Melinda

Sig's By: Softly Whispers

[Guest guest]

Aww Melinda, I am Sorry you are feeling so down ( Sorry about your fish also...

The girls fish all died three weeks ago, so we let them all pick out new ones last time they were here to replace them...We had lost power for over six hours and then a couple of days later for three hours and that is what I think did it ( The girls were quit upset about it ( Have you decided where you are going to move too???

{{{ Blessed Hugs }}}

Helen

Hi Jessi...Im doin. Im feeling crappy. but it could be worse. Lately every morning i wake up with the ring finger on my left hand aching something fierce. Alot of hand pain lately. And i cant seem to make this cold or whatever it is go away. I get up stairs, into bed and and immediately stuffy and phlegm starts to build up in my throat. By morning im coughing up globs of goo and my nose is runing and im sneezing like crazy.other than that im doin... trying to be ok... It really sucks when stupid commercials on the tv make me bawl. And ever single time i get in the dam car i hear some MORE stuff about Sept 11. and all the victims and ect...... and then i want to start bawling all over again.So im just doin..... hating humans, and being angry about alot of things. Fearing the move i know im going to have to eventually make. And knowing im going to have to pack this house up and move..... Oh and last week my fish died. dont know if i mentioned that.. we had an impromptu burrial at 1 in the morn in the back yard for my bugsy. :(Sorry to hear about your little adventure in the fire area...... Fire is scarry. Im glad you all got out ok. and nothing was seriously damaged.Sheesh i sure did go on here lolHUGS good luck with school. I really applaud you trying to go. ( I always wanted to run from it)Melinda

Sig's By: Softly Whispers

[Guest guest]

No, there is no date as of yet ( We took care of the oldest off and onfrom six months old to a year, then had her ever since, she is now 7 years old! We have had the second one since she was 4 weeks old! She is now six!!! And we have always had the baby, and she is now four years old...So we have raised the girls ourselves as a FAMILY for six years till he took them deciding he wanted to be a family now with his 3 month girlfriend ( To me it makes no sence at all (

Hugs Helen

Yep i hear ya... Ive heard of so many cases where they return the child to the abusive parent... I'll never understand the courts definition of a "Family". A self absorbed father and some woman they dont even know makes a family??? While a loving grandmother and grandfather who have known and taken care of them for most if not all of their lives is not considered a family? why cause you weren't the sperm donor..? Makes no sense. I hope you win. For those children's sake i hope you do. Any date yet?

Melinda