Melinda

[Guest guest]

Hey nerys,

Gezze, thanks for coming to my site! yes todd and i are happy together. He is my life line and my soul mate. I have put tons of work into that page but i love the artist who did all the female art pictures. Hes really great and ive actually gotten to speak with him via email. But thanks for saying hi and thanks for checking out my page!:)You take care too.

Melinda

Melinda

Hi babes!

A belated welcome to the group, thought it was about time I said hi, so

Hi!!!

Just been to your website, it is really cool. I love the poems and the graphics too, man you have put heaps of work into it.

You and Todd look really happy together.

So hows things with you?

Take care hon

lots of love

NerysThe Being Sick CommunityChat RoomDaily Chat at # on IRC DALnethttp://www.elderwyn.com/members/chat.htmlMemorial Pagehttp://www.elderwyn.com/members/inlovingmemory.htmlMembers Lounge*FREE counselling via email*Daily Horoscopes*FREE psychic/tarot readings via email*Daily cartoons*Medical Resources and more....http://www.elderwyn.com/members Members Profiles, locations and birthdaysMessage Archivesmessages/Upload your PictureTo subscribe or unsubscribesubscribe/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

[Guest guest]

Sprague wrote:

Hey

nerys,Gezze, thanks for coming

to my site! yes todd and i are happy together. He is my life line and my

soul mate. I have put tons of work into that page but i love the artist

who did all the female art pictures. Hes really great and ive actually

gotten to speak with him via email. But thanks for saying hi and thanks

for checking out my page!

You take care too.Melinda

Hi Melinda-

I must have

missed something, along the way... I have heard about your website, but

where do I go to see it?

You have

me really curious now!

love always,

Anne

[Guest guest]

HI Anne!Hope you are feeling better today. Well if not better better in spirit. :)Yep my web page addy is in my signature. I just sometimes forget to put it on the bottom of my pages. My page is like constantly under construction so its like this huge thing dedicated to all things I like. I have poetry on there that i have written over the past few years as well as my dolls that i do. Pictures of me and my family.

so feel free to check it on out.

:)Huggs

Melinda

*******************************************************************visit my home on the webhttp://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Shores/5241

Re: MelindaSprague wrote:

Hey nerys,Gezze, thanks for coming to my site! yes todd and i are happy together. He is my life line and my soul mate. I have put tons of work into that page but i love the artist who did all the female art pictures. Hes really great and ive actually gotten to speak with him via email. But thanks for saying hi and thanks for checking out my page! You take care too.MelindaHi Melinda- I must have missed something, along the way... I have heard about your website, but where do I go to see it? You have me really curious now! love always, AnneThe Being Sick CommunityChat RoomDaily Chat at # on IRC DALnethttp://www.elderwyn.com/members/chat.htmlMemorial Pagehttp://www.elderwyn.com/members/inlovingmemory.htmlMembers Lounge*FREE counselling via email*Daily Horoscopes*FREE psychic/tarot readings via email*Daily cartoons*Medical Resources and more....http://www.elderwyn.com/members Members Profiles, locations and birthdaysMessage Archivesmessages/Upload your PictureTo subscribe or unsubscribesubscribe/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

[Guest guest]

Hi Melinda.

I know its hard and we all understand that. If you ever want to chat or

email me I will be glad to help if I can. my wife said if you want a women

opinion she will be more than glad to help if she can.

I have this sign in my office away from the office, that reads

-NO ONE CAN MAKE YOU FEEL INFERIOR UNLESS YOU AGREE TO;

its just sometimes really makes sense then other where did my wife find this

sign.

I have enclose my email address for you. Lit rolln wheels @aol.com and just

put in the subject is or my wife's name is Amber

[Guest guest]

HAHA ya i guess i didnt hear what you were saying but i got really really hungry all the sudden and figured that i should really start looking for somthing to eat. so i did. :)GOOD NIGHT

oh ya i had fun too, chatting with you is fun.

Melinda

Melinda

Hi Hon

Was great talking to you in the chat room, think it went funny at the end coz I got your messages but don't think you were getting mine!! Anyways am of to bed...

Take care hon and remember you are 25!!!

Lots of love

NerysThe Being Sick CommunityVisual problems with colors?Click the link below and select the modify link to your right. Then select the **Send Plain Text Email** option. This will stop you receiving emails with colored or enlarged fonts. Members Lounge:-Photo Album, memorial page, members profiles, birthdays, locations, medical resources, counselling via email, and a whole bunch of free things.http://www.elderwyn.com/members Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-messages/Chat:- Scheduled Daily Chats at # on IRC DALnet.chat.htmlSharing our resources:-Add a website URL you have found useful. Personal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator should you require assistance with anything technical or if you are upset by another. The email address for the moderators is <-owneregroups> Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit mygroupsTo subscribe or unsubscribesubscribe/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

[Guest guest]

Well hello.

This week has felt so busy and quick. I went to my swimming class wed, going tommorow too. Went to the mall today with my sister, was on my feet from 10 am to about 4 pm!!! ACK. When i got hoome i was sooooo sore. But when i was at the mall my sister bought me this neat pillow thing, smells like a cup of peppermint tea. and you can warm it up in your microwave or freeze it in your fridge!!! so i used it on my neck, legs, feet lol ! Felt very very good, took some advil and kinda laid around. I feel better, but looking forward to BED!!!

So that's how its going.

thank you for asking.

Melinda

Melinda

*gentle hugs for Mel*

" I just wanted to let everybody know why ive been so quiet. Well, mostly itsbecause sometimes I just dont know what to say, and instead of coming offlike an idiot i just be silent. "

You are way to gentle and caring to ever be an idiot Mel hon...

" So there, now i hope i dont sound like a dork. "

Nah, if you ever do I'll slap ya with a trout ok?! Deal? *grins*

Love ya babe!!!!!! How are you doing this week? Not too worn out? Hows the swiming going?

*hgus* Ugh.....

yadda yadda ..... lmao

*hugs*

Aisha

The Being Sick CommunityVisual problems with colors?Click the link below and select the modify link to your right. Then select the **Send Plain Text Email** option. This will stop you receiving emails with colored or enlarged fonts. Members Lounge:-Photo Album, memorial page, members profiles, birthdays, locations, medical resources, counselling via email, and a whole bunch of free things.http://www.elderwyn.com/members Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-messages/Chat:- Scheduled Daily Chats at # on IRC DALnet.chat.htmlSharing our resources:-Add a website URL you have found useful. Personal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator should you require assistance with anything technical or if you are upset by another. The email address for the moderators is <-owneregroups> Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit mygroupsTo subscribe or unsubscribesubscribe/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

[Guest guest]

Thanks Aisha,

Yes my family knows all about it, my mother included. I just want it to go away. Im trying my best to do other things and keep my mind off it. I was really worried today when i went to take my nap and i was more afraid than usual. I knew that it had really gotten to me. But i did end up sleeping, just took me a bit of time.

im just tired.

thanks for all the hugs everybody!much appreciated

melinda

Melinda

Dearest Mel

{{{{{{{ Pink fuzzy huggles }}}}}}}

" As for me, i am a mess. My abuser has come back into my families life. Im not dealing with it very well. I dont want him back. I want him far far away. Imhaving alot of anger towards my mother. Anger towards alot of my family. "

Oh baby I'm so sorry to hear this :-(

Do they know that this person abused you? I dont blame you for being angry. I cannot even imagine what it must be like but I would have though fear, anger, terror, sadness and much more would be surfacing for you to have to deal with. None of which is good. Remember you can talk to us if you need to hon *hugs*

" The only good thing that happened is that i got medicare and can now see my shrink once per week and not have to pay all out of pocket. It was getting expensive. "

Some good news at least ..

" I was supposed to go to my moms for lunch today but, i just cant do it. Im so angry with her. him coming back has brought up so much past crap. And it happened so quickly that I havent had time to really process it all. "

Well I am assuming that your mother knows about all of this which is why you are angry?

" So no im not going to the classes. Im going to try again though. Im having alot of pain in my back, legs and feet. "

Dont over do things Mel, the pool isnt going anywhere. Go when you are ready

" Im tired alot and depressed alot. Christmas always makes me feel sad. "

Its a tough time for many. Its instilled in us that its a time for family etc but its so hard when you have issues with your family. Why does Christmas make you feel sad sweetie?

" Especially when i see all the babies. Makes me want one, but i just am notready, god knows if i will ever be. "

Are you blaming yourself hon? You are nothing but a sweet and wonderful person. Give yourself time sweetie, and know that we love you for you.

*angel kisses*

Aisha

The Being Sick CommunityVisual problems with colors?Click the link below and select the modify link to your right. Then select the **Send Plain Text Email** option. This will stop you receiving emails with colored or enlarged fonts. Members Lounge:-Photo Album, memorial page, members profiles, birthdays, locations, medical resources, counselling via email, and a whole bunch of free things.http://www.elderwyn.com/members Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-messages/Chat:- Scheduled Daily Chats at # on IRC DALnet./chat.htmSharing our resources:-Add a website URL you have found useful. Personal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator should you require assistance with anything technical or if you are upset by another. The email address for the moderators is <-owneregroups> Subscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit mygroupsTo subscribe or unsubscribesubscribe/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

[Guest guest]

HI,

Im doing ok. Sounds like you are having your own mess right now with those icky pills. As for my pills i didnt need them this time around. My " Curse " came on sunday, the very same night im supposed to start my new pack of Birth Control pills. SO it was kind to me this month hehe.

I just want christmas to be over. Ill be glad when its all done. ( and i can play with all my new presents heeh)Well, thats it, im zonked, you take care of yourself, or make G do it :)And dont worry about us, we will do the best we can without you till you get a bit better.

Melinda

Melinda

Hi Mel *hugs*

" Im doing ok. Im tired, going to get the curse soon "

*UGH* you and me both honey - linked!

" and i am out of my pain pills that ive been taking for about 2 years now. Im not sure if this dr. will give me a new script. Last time i tried to get one they made a fuss about some liver damage thing and nobody had ever said anything about it damaging my liver. SO its weird lol. "

Did you get your pain meds honey? What about over the counter drugs for period pain? Its horrible pain. Hate it. Do hot water bottles help?

" Other than that im seeing my shrink once a week and i think that is going to make a HUGE difference. "

Oh good :-)

" But still some days its hard, Sometimes im full of hope and exctitement about what i can do and what i could be. And other days i dont know why i bother, and i hate myself for even thinking that i could be anything other than this, right here right now. And i get angry at myself and try to find a reason that i shouldn't just take a huge handfull of sleeping pills or something and just go take a long long nap. "

Love you lots, you cant take lots of pills would miss you too much :-(

I find that I think exactly as you described also. Especially the " dream " of how you could be verses the " why bother never going to get anywhere " attitude.

Hows things with the family sweety? How you coping? Worry bout you hon.

Much love to you

Aisha

The Being Sick CommunityVisual problems with colors?Click the link below and select the modify link to your right. Then select the **Send Plain Text Email** option. This will stop you receiving emails with colored or enlarged fonts. Members Lounge:-Photo Album, memorial page, members profiles, birthdays, locations, medical resources, counselling via email and a whole bunch of free things.http://www.elderwyn.com/members Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-messages/Chat:- Scheduled Daily Chats at # on IRC DALnet./chat.htmSharing our resources:-Add a website URL you have found useful. Personal Complaints or problems:-Please contact a moderator either via email <-owneregroups> or visit:-/Moderators.htmSubscription Details:-1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you receive.2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your convenience and receive no email.To modify your subscription settings please visit mygroupsTo subscribe or unsubscribesubscribe/ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

[Guest guest]

Really? does it hurt alot? Ive thought about it an awful lot and with the

multiple shots ill have to be taking it might be a good idea. Ive always

been worried it would hurt, or somthing would happen and rip it out.

Im sure if i talked to somebody face to face I could get answers that would

probly sooth my mind.

Just wondering if you were speaking from experiance.

Melinda

At 11:16 AM 3/10/01 -0800, you wrote:

>Dear Melinda, Just a thought for ya- ask about the

>insulin pump. It is a Godsend for diabetics during

>pregnancy.

>Good luck!

>

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Mel,

There is a girl in one of my classes who has an implanted insulin pump. She is

always talking about how convenient it is, and says that she's never had any

serious problems with it. It just looks like a pager in her pocket.

*hugs*

Melinda Sprague wrote:

> Really? does it hurt alot? Ive thought about it an awful lot and with the

> multiple shots ill have to be taking it might be a good idea. Ive always

> been worried it would hurt, or somthing would happen and rip it out.

> Im sure if i talked to somebody face to face I could get answers that would

> probly sooth my mind.

> Just wondering if you were speaking from experiance.

> Melinda

> At 11:16 AM 3/10/01 -0800, you wrote:

> >Dear Melinda, Just a thought for ya- ask about the

> >insulin pump. It is a Godsend for diabetics during

> >pregnancy.

> >Good luck!

> >

> >__________________________________________________

> >

[Guest guest]

Ya, my hubby and I talked about the pump alot these last few days. so many

questions I have. Ill have to see somebody who knows alot about this. Ill

be calling my dr probly on Monday, hoping that i feel better by then and am

over this cold. and yes ive heard about the 10lb babies. that is really scarry!

Thanks for the info, i guess im gonna have to insist i get someone with

more experiance than my current Dr.

Melinda

At 10:42 AM 3/13/01 -0800, you wrote:

>Hi Melinda, I used to be a nurse, and it runs in my

>family, so I've paid attention. I worked with a nurse

>that did diabetic teaching & counseling, and had used

>the insulin pump w her last 2 successful pregnancies.

>She strongly encouraged it, as it kept her diabetes

>under perfect control, and had no complications with

>these 2 kids vs many probs & losses before. She never

>mentioned any pain or discomfort with it, but they had

>to remove due to infection once. They only let her use

>it during pregnancy, but we had a patient we saw in

>the office who had been on one for years without any

>problem.

>You really need to see a specialist, diabetes poses

>many hazards to your health, and the babys. Even when

>under good control. Please plan carefully, 10lb babies

>are not uncommon.

>

> From: Melinda Sprague <mydragon@...>

>Subject: Re: Melinda

>

>Really? does it hurt alot? Ive thought about it an

>awful lot and with the

>multiple shots ill have to be taking it might be a

>good idea. Ive always

>been worried it would hurt, or somthing would happen

>and rip it out.

>Im sure if i talked to somebody face to face I could

>get answers that would

>probly sooth my mind.

>Just wondering if you were speaking from experiance.

>Melinda

>At 11:16 AM 3/10/01 -0800, you wrote:

> >Dear Melinda, Just a thought for ya- ask about the

> >insulin pump. It is a Godsend for diabetics during

> >pregnancy.

> >Good luck!

> >

> >

>

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

HI Teela:

Many people with OCD find that they are hypersensitive to sound, smell,

touch, and sight. This is not just part of autism. Often this can be

helped by meds and by learning how to live with anxiety. I also notice

Steve is worse this way when he is depressed, he also has MDD.

Sometimes I use his hyperawareness to my advantage. He notices everything,

would be a wonderful witness in a court case. Also he has a memory to die

for.

Good luck, take care, aloha, Kathy (h)

kathyh@...

At 11:28 AM 03/19/2001 -0500, you wrote:

>First I want to thank you for your kindness and

>support. I hadn't learned anything about Autism. I had

>always thought that is was associated with learning

>disablitlies and complete withdrawl. I will certainly

>check it out. Summer only has trouble with loud noises

>like blow dryers, vacuums, lawn mowers etc. Her issues

>with food all surround the texture rather than the

>taste and now she is starting to develop contamination

>issues. Oh well. We will muddle through I am sure. I

>am doing much better with the sun shining today so I

>am sure the good weather will help us both. hugs Teela

[Guest guest]

> i too am confused..........mel seemed down a little.........does any one know why? blue

Yeah, Melinda is burnt out and on a little time out for awhile. Things were starting to stress her out too much. Its hard work sometimes being a moderator. Mel just needed a break so she is on no-mail. She will be back when she is in harmony again.

Like the saying goes, "you cannot help anyone till you firstly help yourself."

How you doing sweet Blue?

Love,

¸..· ´¨¨)) -:¦:- ¸.·´ .·´¨¨)) ((¸¸.·´ ..·´ -:¦:- Aisha -:¦:- ((¸¸.·´

Don't let the odds scare you from even trying. - Schultz______________

Aisha ElderwynEmail: aisha@... MSN Instant Messenger: aisha_elderwyn@...AOL Instant Messenger: Angelicisha Instant Messenger: AngelicishaIRC: DALnet # angel`ishaWebsite: http://www.elderwyn.com/aisha

[Guest guest]

Sure,

Melinda

At 01:31 PM 4/5/01 -0700, you wrote:

>Melinda,

>

>Can you send the pictures of your Lhasa again? My mom wants to see...I think

>it was an order from her highness.

>

>

>

>

>~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

> The Being Sick Community

>

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>~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

>

> " Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to what

>you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to what

>you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your life, even

>if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

>

>~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

well its good for most of what i got.

Great for the depression as it gets me out of this house and off this

chair. Good for my Diabetes as it helps to lower Blood Sugar and helps

with circulation. I just go with the flow and when i get tired i slow

down. My knees arent so good. I had a patella realignment a few years

back on my left knee, ( suppopsed to get other one done but im terrified)

But ya swimming feels so good since im only about10% of my weight in the

water which makes me oh about 27lbs or so. Feels pretty darn good being

only 27Lbs LOL

Good luck with the pool, its always nice to have your own. Plus you

can spend time relaxing instead of only getting in to work out. hehe

Melinda

At 01:19 AM 5/3/01 -0400, you wrote:

Are the

water aerobics good for your illness? Or just good for all

over? I

hope we get our pool fixed for the summer. A ground mole decided to

tunnel

under it during the winter and that pulled the liner under the

rim!! Now we

have to take the whole liner out and water to resand under it and put the

liner back where it belongs. Keep up th good work. Wish I

lost 6 #'s .

Hugs

Helen

hehe Helen your so cute.

IM doing ok. I forgot to tell everybody that i was back to taking those

water

aerobics classes. lol

just 2 times per week. SO far so good. Lost 6lbs too.

Thanks for worring Helen, your a sweetie.

Melinda

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~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to

what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to

what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your

life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Due to some problems with and not getting

messages, could someone explain to me (privately if

you wish at terribrew@...) what is happening

with the list? I saw something about Aisha leaving but

no explanation. I would like to see the list continue

even though I don't post often, I always read. Just

kind of confused about what is happening. Thanks Terri

=====

searching for Deborah

dob 1/14/57 in nna, Fl

Relinquished in Chicago, 1961

brother and 5 other siblings searching

Half-sib found 1-16-00!

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Yes Aisha left and took her hubby with her.

Shes doing good and has left the list to me. If you want an explanation you

can read back in the archives. The list will continue as long as there are

members. I'm going to do my best to keep it the same as it was when Aisha

was the List owner.

SO thats whats happening.

Let me know if you have any more questions.

Melinda

At 05:51 AM 5/4/01 -0700, you wrote:

>Due to some problems with and not getting

>messages, could someone explain to me (privately if

>you wish at terribrew@...) what is happening

>with the list? I saw something about Aisha leaving but

>no explanation. I would like to see the list continue

>even though I don't post often, I always read. Just

>kind of confused about what is happening. Thanks Terri

>

>=====

>searching for Deborah

>dob 1/14/57 in nna, Fl

>Relinquished in Chicago, 1961

>brother and 5 other siblings searching

>Half-sib found 1-16-00!

>

>__________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

Hi, Joni. You are perceptive in identifying 's boatload of

unearned guilt. It is usually over small things that most people

wouldn't even think about. It IS heartbreaking because he is such a

good (gentle, kind, caring) kid. But we hear, " I'm sorry, I

apologize, Thank you, " coming from his mouth alot. I wish he would

cut himself some slack...I often tell him that he can't be perfect

because then I would have to be perfect too! If he can't make any

mistakes then I can't either...boring! ;-) Sometimes that gets a

smile but no relief. It is really weird to then deal with his

brother whose middle name is fun and to whom the word " responsiblity "

is just another entry in the dictionary.

's idea of fun is work/accomplishment oriented. But he does

love his music (percussion). Occasionally, he will go to the movies

or a party with friends, but OCD has negitively impacted his social

life so that doesn't happen much. He even has lost his rapore with

fellow scouts because he is always thinking about what needs to be

done while they are thinking about boy stuff. I haven't seen ,

the kid, since OCD struck (about 18 months ago). So sad. He is

seeing a therapist.

I hope he can break away and have fun this weekend. The family

place in east Texas has always been a fun place for him and Jeff. I

hate to see that ruined. I'll let you know how it goes :-)

Melinda S.

Dallas

> > Joni,

> > I love the positive attitude sign on the mirror idea!!!! I will

do

> > that immediately (he certainly spends enough time in front of the

> > mirror checking out those abs :-)) And the examples you sent

were

> > great! Sometimes I don't know where we would be without you and

> > others on this list with such wonderful ideas!

> > As for examples of discipling problems...If the track situation

had

> > happened to Jeff ('s brother) a walk home WOULD have been

a

> > punishment, but for a compulsive runner, running home wasn't

> exactly

> > a negative consequence. When makes poor decisions, he

> feels

> > so bad that it is hard to find something that won't make him feel

> > worse about himself. Jeff, on the other hand, seems so clueless

> that

> > a behavior is unacceptable, that he needs to be disciplined in a

> > different manner. Jeff approaches life with wild abandon...you

can

> > see why, with 2 boys a year apart and so incredibly different, I

> > usually don't know whether I am coming or going ;-)

> > As for the consequence for this currrent issue, came up

> with

> > his own...As we head out tomorrow for a weekend family reunion,

he

> > thought that perhaps he should give up his ongoing daily

exercizes

> > (ever so often during the day he is doing push-ups, jumps, pull-

> ups,

> > etc.)so he can practice flexablility. I know this is a call for

> > help, as he fears he will ruin the fun of the reunion for himself

> > (much as he did the Scout camping weekend) and if the option is

> taken

> > away, he can avoid the activity w/o guilt. While this will make

the

> > weekend nicer for him (and us!), it does not afford him the

> > opportunity to boss back OCD. Or maybe he is in a round-about

> way...

> > Thanks agin for your ideas!

> > Melinds S.

> > Dallas

[Guest guest]

Hmmmm....

the classic OVER-achiever. Achievement is one thing, but

OVER-achievment is crazy! EVERYTHING IN MODERATION! I see alot

of myself in --I was there once, the over-

achiever, 'everything is MY fault, MY responsibility-- and I crashed

and BURNED!! Total, severe burn-out and MAJOR depression. But, I

was 30 at the time working way too many hours full-time with school-

aged kids, then coming home to the 'second shift' waiting for me when

I got home from work (including all of their homework). Back then, I

never allowed myself to have any FUN. 'Fun' was a foreign word to me-

- and something I had FORGOTTEN how to do. I'd hate to see

get to the point of total burn-out and severe depression to finally

realize 'duh, why didn't i ever have any fun? Why didn't I lighten

UP? Why didn't I take some medication to take the edge off of all

this anxiety so that I could have a life? Why did I let this anxiety

steal so many of the GOOD years?'

What would happen if took a break from scouts for awhile?

Would he not know what to do with himself? This is tricky- but would

he take medication if it meant having to give up scouts if he

didn't? Sort of like-- doing an intervention on his life-- similar

to the way they do drug addicts? I mean-- workaholic stuff is just

as addicting and can make you ANXIETY-RIDDEN and Guilt-Ridden! So,

no medication = no scouts Would that work? Is it enforceable?

(we don't want to give empty threats that can't be enforced)

(17, ADHD+mild OCD) wouldn't take meds. But, his impulsivity

was interfering in our lives. He'd yell, and shoot off at the mouth

whenever he felt like it. If it hit his brain-- it went flying off

his tongue-- absolutely NO SELF CONTROL. So, I gave him TWO

choices: either he get HIMSELF under control, or he has to take

meds. (I was soooo TIRED of a life that was out of control

everywhere! I had to get tough) Another 'incentive' was that if he

didn't go to the doctor, I was taking him to Juvenile COURT!!!

We went to the psych. and got an RX. took Adderall for about

a month, but hated that 'medicine head' feeling (he's hyper ya know--

and he LOVES his energy). When he said he wanted to quit taking meds

after a month, I told him 'Fine-- but you know the rules. If you get

Out Of Control --- you're back on the meds!! No if's and's or BUTs!

If you refuse to take them, you'll have to live with someone else--

maybe your grandmother, until you can get a grip on yourself. My

sanity is on the line here-- I can't take anymore STUFF, ! If

something isn't done, your MOTHER will be hospitalized!'

So far, it's working. appears to be controlling himself (most

of the time)without medication. He knows the consequences: no self

control= medication or getting kicked out, or JUVY JAIL! Now, of

course, we have those CAR KEYS - and it's working like a charm!

's case is entirely different than 's and much more

severe. I see where he needs some kind of *intervention.* His

childhood is being lost to OCD (and an eating disorder) and THATS A

CRIME! He only gets ONE childhood, and then... it's off to the real

world where stress, anxiety and plenty of opportunities exist to

become a workaholic BASKETCASE, just like I was!

How is his therapist working out? Any gains? Ask him/her about

doing some kind of family intervention to get the medication

he desperately needs and see what s/he says.

Keep us posted! (((hugs)))

Joni

Hmmm... since he's so hung up on his body, maybe he could read

something about how GUILT and Over-Responsibilty can totally RUIN his

health. Louise Hay's 'You Can Heal Your Life' has TONS of chapters

relating to how GUILT can cause anything from kidney failure to heart

disease. Guilt MUST be released - or it can eat you up alive!

> Hi, Joni. You are perceptive in identifying 's boatload of

> unearned guilt. It is usually over small things that most people

> wouldn't even think about. It IS heartbreaking because he is such

a

> good (gentle, kind, caring) kid. But we hear, " I'm sorry, I

> apologize, Thank you, " coming from his mouth alot. I wish he

would

> cut himself some slack...I often tell him that he can't be perfect

> because then I would have to be perfect too! If he can't make any

> mistakes then I can't either...boring! ;-) Sometimes that gets a

> smile but no relief. It is really weird to then deal with his

> brother whose middle name is fun and to whom the

word " responsiblity "

> is just another entry in the dictionary.

> 's idea of fun is work/accomplishment oriented. But he does

> love his music (percussion). Occasionally, he will go to the

movies

> or a party with friends, but OCD has negitively impacted his social

> life so that doesn't happen much. He even has lost his rapore with

> fellow scouts because he is always thinking about what needs to be

> done while they are thinking about boy stuff. I haven't seen

,

> the kid, since OCD struck (about 18 months ago). So sad. He is

> seeing a therapist.

> I hope he can break away and have fun this weekend. The family

> place in east Texas has always been a fun place for him and Jeff.

I

> hate to see that ruined. I'll let you know how it goes :-)

> Melinda S.

> Dallas

> > > Dallas

[Guest guest]

Helen,

That's a great idea. I'm still here.

=====

Kristy

http://www.geocities.com/sokokl/kristyspersonalpage.html

Owner:

Endo_Vulvodynia_PCOS

Zoladexforendometriosis

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi Helen,

I only kept track of those who left and are on the Birthday List. So when they leave and I find their email addresses in the Birthday List, I delete their names from the List.

Ling

Melinda

Ok Melinda!!! Can we have a list of all the people that are left in our group??? There are some that have left and I didn't even know this... On some list, they give you the person that is subscribing or unsubscribing, so you know who to welcome or who isn't here anymore...We have no idea what is going on and we talk to ourselves when the person has left, until we personally hear from them if we knew them... Just an Idea ) Helen

[Guest guest]

I have no clue whos here and whos not. For a while there people were

dropping off list like flies. I suppose ill have to get on the members

page and look. Its hard because i dont know everybody on there. Some

people i guess just read stuff and dont post ever. so i guess i gotta get

in and check it all out. Im thinking of doing away with some stuff

though.

Melinda

At 11:03 PM 7/9/01 -0400, you wrote:

Ok

Melinda!!! Can we have a list of all the people that are left in our

group??? There are some that have left and I didn't even know

this... On

some list, they give you the person that is subscribing or unsubscribing,

so

you know who to welcome or who isn't here anymore...We have no idea what

is

going on and we talk to ourselves when the person has left, until we

personally hear from them if we knew them... Just an Idea )

Helen

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

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“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to

what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to

what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your

life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

oh oh. no. I dont know what happened to all that. I know dorie was saying

that they needed to be moved but I didnt have any clue as to what was

supposed to be done. All that i have left is the memorial page.. And that

i can get a link for you too, but i think thats at the bottom of the

page. If you guys want another member pic page id be more than happy do

do one. just let me know. It wont be anything too fancy but it would be

ours

Melinda

At 10:23 PM 7/10/01 -0400, you wrote:

Thanks

Melinda... How are you

doing??? In the other post we were

talking about where did the members photo's go... Do you have the URL for

the

new site???

Hugs

Helen

I have no clue whos here and whos not. For a while there people were

dropping

off list like flies. I suppose ill have to get on the members page and

look.

Its hard because i dont know everybody on there. Some people i guess just

read stuff and dont post ever. so i guess i gotta get in and check it all

out. Im thinking of doing away with some stuff though.

Melinda

At 11:03 PM 7/9/01 -0400, you wrote:

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

The Being Sick Community

Memorial Page

http://www.dreamwater.net/lovingmemory/

Message Archives and Digest Attachment Pictures:-

/messages

Chat:-

Scheduled Daily Chats at # on IRC DALnet.

/files/chat.htm

Bookmarks:-

Add a website URL you have found useful.

/links

Personal Complaints or problems:-

Please contact a moderator

email: -owner

Subscription Details:-

1) Individual email - means that every email sent to the list you

receive.

2) Daily Digest - sends you 25 messages in one single email for you to

browse. This is an excellent option if you receive alot of email.

3) Web only/No mail - means that you can pop into eGroups at your

convenience and receive no email.

To modify your subscription settings please visit:-

/join

To subscribe or unsubscribe please email:-

-subscribe

-unsubscribe

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

“Hold on to what is good, even if it's a handful of earth. Hold on to

what you believe, even if it's a tree that stands by itself. Hold on to

what you must do even, if it's a long way from here. Hold on to your

life, even if it's easier to let go. " - Pueblo Prayer

~~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~ *** ~~~~

[Guest guest]

Hi, Vivian...so good to hear from you!

Well, marching band started this morning so both and Jeff had

to be at school at 7:15. UGH! They were both a few minutes late. I

didn't leave because his brother wasn't ready either. BTW,

actually made it into the building ON TIME Friday. I

couldn't believe it! He was a little late to his first period class

(Band Ensemble), but the band director just told him that " this was

your warning. " So repercussions were not as great as I had

expected. Sometimes I don't know if I can face another school year

of this. At least marching season ends in Nov. I'd be surprised if

Jeff continues next year. He is also very talented musically, but

these 7:15 start times are going to kill him (he's NOT a morning

person.)

is not reacting well to our attempts to regulate exercise and

using it as a privilege to be earned. We argue constantly. So if he

is not seeking reassurance about whether or not he has " done enough "

he is arguing about the rules. Ugh! As the kids say, " I hate my

life! " has also gotten more cautious about his eating. I

think this is directly related to our " crackdown " . I am wondering if

we are seeing more of a control issue than just fear of fat. It did

seem to get worse when we started taking away privileges.

continues to see this new therapist weekly. He has had four

appointments. I am in the dark as to how it's going, but if " at

home " behavior is any indication, I not too hopeful. has not

brought any E/RP assignments...then again, would he tell me? I am

going to meet with the doctor on my own after this next appointment,

to hear his accessment and plan for . EVERYBODY had talked to

about meds...it's funny he can be so headstrong and sure of

himself sometimes...

How is doing? Did he enjoy Philmont? How much summer do you

guys have yet? Hope all is well!

Melinda

> >Sorry this is so long. I wish I saw a modicum of

> >light at the end of

> >the tunnel. But you can't treat someone who doesn't

> >want to be

> >treated. Probably our last resort will be insisting

> >that he take

> >meds if he is going to continue living in our

> >household. I am so sad.

> I can relate to your feelings here. I think you are

> doing the right thing with leaving him if he is not

> ready. How is the loss of exercise privilege going

> over with ? I was wondering if it would spike

> his anxiety. How has he been doing the last few days

> getting out if the house?

> Your posts are not too long.....I hope for

> that he will see that OCD is selling him short (no pun

> intended!) and that medication will help him. Has he

> been in for an appointment lately? May be the

> therapist could mention he try meds and see how school

> goes for him.

> Keep us posted Melinda.

> Vivian in WA ST

>

> __________________________________________________

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/21/01 9:32:18 PM Eastern Daylight Time, JSh1000@... writes:

But I am not going to be a victim anymore. As I told , the victory must be his.

Wow. You've really come a long way, Melinda-- in just a few short months.

I'm throwing away my 'victim hat' too. I felt like a SLAVE to 's OCD for a long time. I quit my job to help him get well--- and I don't think that solved a thing. I think it made his symptoms ESCALATE because I became his emotional crutch. When I was employed, he had NO CHOICE--- he had to face his problems.

But-- 'That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger' and I WILL survive!

Once I get him back in school, I'm going to take my days and ENJOY MYSELF.

I'VE EARNED IT!! Then, I'll work on setting some goals, like taking those cool classes that have been on HOLD for a long time, or finally dusting off those brochures for the bicycling club, canoe trips and white water rafting, traveling, a day at the beach... things like that. Part of my own frustration is FEELING DEPRIVED. I've been so over-involved in trying to help my son, that I forgot about me.

We've really been through it, haven't we? I'm finding that I can't relate to many of my friends who have 'normal' lives. I don't even tell them what I've been through anymore because I'm met with comments like this 'Oh-- I don't know what to say.' Of course, I get to hear all about their 'problems' like 'I'm tired of waiting for my new furniture that I ordered. It's so frustrating!' (poor baby) Or... "I'm so mad. My husband won't take me on that cruise that I so desperately need." (SHE needs a cruise?

pullllease!)

My bad attitude tells me that I need to Take Care of Myself even more. I'm COUNTING the days till school starts!! I can't wait.

Joni