Emotional abuse - a list to keep

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This is not about what he wants. It is about a child - your child. Of course he doesn't want to discuss it.Of course he makes it all your fault.If he could, he would convince you that it was you who did it.Then he could punish you emotionally for his action. Oh, that's right, he

already is!!!Check out the following definitions of the categories of emotional abuse. They are by Beverly Engel's and are from Partners in Recovery. Ms. Engel is also the author of The Right to Innocence, The Emotionally Abused Woman, Loving Him Without Losing You, and The Emotionally Abusive Relationship:Domination - Domination constitutes enslavement in that it deprives the other person

of their autonomy (cannot speak, cannot leave, without permission or approval of abuser):

Insists on getting own way and making all decisions. Prohibits other person from having an opinion or speaking their mind. Threatens rejection or implies or threatens physical violence if other person fails to comply with their wishes. Verbal Assaults - Extremely emotionally damaging type of emotional abuse because it destroys self-esteem and self-image. Just as physical violence assaults the body, verbal abuse assaults the mind and spirit, causing wounds that are extremely difficult to heal. It is also important to remember that if the abuser is male, thre is always the intimidation of the unspoken threat of physical violence or rape, and this is extremely frightening. Forms of verbal assaults:BeratingBelittlingCriticizingCalling namesScreamingThreateningBlamingUsing sarcasm HumiliatingUnreasonable Expectations - It is abusive to place unreasonable demands on another person such as Expecting someone else to put aside everything to satisfy own needsDemanding someone's undivided attentionRequiring someone else spend all their free time with themDemanding someone else submit to sex whenever the demander wants it (obviously this crosses into physical and sexual abuse also)Being dissatisfied no matter how much the other person gives Criticizing the other persons attempts to pleaseEmotional Blackmail - One of the most powerful ways of manipulating another person.Consciously or unconsciously coercing someone else to do what they want by playing on fear, guilt, or compassionThreatening to end the relationship if the other person doesn't do what they wantRejecting, ignoring,

or distancing from the other person until they give in to demandsUnpredictable Behavior:Drastic mood swingsSudden emotional outbursts for no apparent reasonInconsistent responsesReact differently at different times to the same behaviorSaying one thing one day and the opposite the nextLiking something one day and hating it the nextExhibiting one personality when sober and a totally

different one when not (food could be the culprit too, as others pointed out)Constant Criticism (overlaps other areas but has some distinct characteristics) - erodes self-confidence and self-worth and undermines any good feelings the abusee has about themselves, their accomplishments, or their achievements. Eventually abusee will become convinced that nothing they do is worthwhile and they may feel like just giving up:Unrelentingly critical of someoneAlways finding faultNever being pleasedCharacter Assassination - causes a great deal of pain and embarassment and like some of the other categories of emotional abuse

can damage self-esteem tremendously. Also damages their reputation, isolating them and making them feel insecure and unworthy socially and even

professionally:Humiliating, criticizing, or making fun of someone else in front of othersDiscounting their achievementsConstantly blow their mistakes out of proportionTalk openly about their past mistakes or failuresLie about themDiscredit or make them look bad in front of othersGaslighting - Comes from the movie Gaslight, in which a husband used a variety of insidious techniques to make his wife doubt her perceptions, memory, and even sanity. This is a very malicious and dangerous game:Deliberately and continually

denying that certain events occurred or that certain things were said or

doneInsinuating that someone is lying or exaggerating when they are notConstant Chaos - (KJ: aka "Drama") - can result from an upbringing in a dysfunctional, highly chaotic, or substance abusive environment where there were frequent arguments, physical abuse, or other forms of disruption or upset. Someone accustomed to a tremendous amount of change, violence, and crisis can be addicted to the drama, or just may not know any other way to be. Stability or uneventful periods can actually cause depression and anxiety in someone with such a background. (KJ: they are afraid to "relax" or let down their guard because they just know everything is about to fall apart again, because it always did/does) This person may also only feel "alive" after they survive a threatening or

highly

charged experience (KJ: like "adrenalin junkies"):Constantly cause upheaval and discordDeliberately start argumentsInstigate continual conflictThese definitions are extracted (somewhat abbreviated) from Ms. Engel's book with minor adaptations by me as noted: Engel, Beverly, MFCC. Partners in Recovery: How Mates, Lovers, & Other Prosurvivors Can Learn to Support & Cope with Adult Survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse (ISBN 0-929923-61-8). 1991.Other resources, some of which you can probably pick up from Amazon cheap, as they have been

out a long time (maybe even new, or in Kindle, which would be better for us

:-)Where You End and I Begin, by Anne (Kindle ed. 7.69!) - GREAT bookWhen I Say No I Feel Guilty, by J. (Kindle ed. 7.99) CLASSICEven the titles are helpful to me...listen to these:Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life BackBoundaries in DatingHow to Set Healthy BoundariesWhen to Say Yes, When to Say NoSafe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren'tWhere to Draw the LineFrom Panic to PowerThere is nothing that has

happened to me that hasn't happened to many others. I thought I was

"terminally unique"--but fortunately, I was wrong. And, equally fortunately, there is a large body of information "out there" about this stuff.Prepared with love, because I KNOW I am not the only one.kajay From: Cecilia Borg <ceciliaborg@...> To:

"bird mites " <bird mites > Sent: Thursday, December 29, 2011 1:22 PM Subject: Re: Kajay / jdavid Protocol

Hi, Aggi!It did happen that he has taken her arm hard and has been swearing to her, but this was worse.I don´t accept that kind of behavior to a child.BUt he is stubborn and doesn´t want to discuss it: he just say I´m overreacting and doesn´t anser when I am talking to him. He wrote a note that he is leaving as soon as he can and he says he will.Thanks for caring and I don´t know what to do.Good to hear you are so happy in your relationship.All the best!Cecilia From: Aggi Assmann <aggi_assmann@...> "bird mites " <bird mites > Sent: Thursday, December 29, 2011 4:33 PM Subject: Re: Kajay / jdavid Protocol

Dear Cecilia,

so sorry to read about this and the stress you must be going through.

Was it the first incident with your husband and your daughter. Or were there signs and

symptoms before ?

Many hurtful things are sometimes said in the heat of the moment.

I think my boyfriend and I split up about 50 times verbally within our 7 years.

Surprisingly we are still living happily together :-)

Keep your chin up and try to speak to him.

Thinking of you and wishing you the best of luck !

Big hug,

Aggi

Von: Cecilia Borg <ceciliaborg@...>An: "bird mites " <bird mites > Gesendet: 11:11 Donnerstag, 29.Dezember 2011Betreff: Re: Kajay / jdavid Protocol

Hi, all!|

I´m in despair. My husband twisted my daughters arm so hard yesterday and cursed her, when he became mad at her (she is only my daughter - she has another father, our smallest daughter we have together). I told him that he was awful and that I despised what he was doing and that he was crazy and so wrong doing it. He said I was psychiatrically sick and that he had the right to do what he did cause she did not obey him!'

THis morning he wrote a note that he is moving out as soon as possible.

I know it has nothing to do with birdmites, but still just needed some support..

KR

Cecilia

From: "Goldstein@..." <Goldstein@...>bird mites Sent: Thursday, December 29, 2011 12:22 AMSubject: Re: Kajay / jdavid Protocol

Hi Aggi,

Welcome back! Hope you had a great time away. I couldn't find doctoronline.com. Is it called anything else?

From: "Aggi Assmann" <aggi_assmann@...>bird mites Sent: Wednesday, December 28, 2011 3:04:55 PMSubject: Re: Kajay / jdavid Protocol

I have ordered Itraconazole on doctoronline.com at a much better price !

Von: Benton <sarahbenton48@...>An: "bird mites " <bird mites > Gesendet: 2:16 Samstag, 24.Dezember 2011Betreff: Re: Kajay / jdavid Protocol

Freedom pharmacy has it for $180. for 15 pills. When they have a special, you can get discounts of 10, 20 or 30 percent. They don't offer the discount to you until you order from them initially.

Love and light,

From: "Goldstein@..." <Goldstein@...>bird mites Sent: Thursday, December 22, 2011 9:32 PMSubject: Re: Kajay / jdavid Protocol

One of the beauties of this group is that we are not selling anything or pushing any particular product. What works for one, doesn't always do the job for others... this is a great list and I know many of these things work! Thank you for all your time and effort in putting together this handy list .

You also got it right on the Itraconazole... the pharmacy wanted $1,000 for a one month supply. I said "no thank you." Aandraya suggested I try some other avenues to try to get it cheaper which I'll do.

From: " Benton" <sarahbenton48@...>bird mites Sent: Thursday, December 22, 2011 11:36:46 AMSubject: Re: Kajay / jdavid Protocol

Issue

Treatment

Outcome

Downfall

Possible?

Large lesions

Acyclovir

Large Lesions no longer present

Did not address co infections

Test = Herpetic Dermatitis

Issues coming from sores/lesions

2 Cups of Arm & Hammer Super Soda Wash in large bath (Use straw or snorkel to go under water and comb hair close to scalp)

1. detoxes A+

2. Removes biofilm on skin

3. Crawlies on skin die in water

4. Lesions heal

1. Initially "burns" until sores start to heal (worth it

2. Does not kill eggs or under skin creatures

1. Fungus/mold

2. Bacteria

3. Virus

4. Skin Nematode

Follows Super Soda Bath

Use powdered Olive leaf to "scrub" skin with fingers

(I buy by pound from

Starwest Botanicals)

1. Removes "webbing" and crawlies on skin.

2. Works to heal and disinfect sores/lesions

1. Only addresses what has made it to the surface layer of the skin

Scratching or rubbing jagged stuff or webbing out/off of sores and around them

1. Sores/lesions start to heal

1. Must be repeated until completely healed

Red rash/bumps

1. One pill of Doxycycline dissolved in water. (I let the pill sit for hour in about 3 tablespoons and then add about ½ cup of hot water before massaging into scalp and body.

2. Ivermectin 150mg. once every 3 to 6 months

3. Follow the latter with 6wks to 2 months of Doxycycline 100mgs 2 X day.

1. Rash raises and then slowing starts to disappear. Dead infected skin rolls off of area during process. Seems "stuff" rolls off with it.

2. Ivermictin kills microfilaria and sterilizes adult females

3. Do not eat/drink 2 hours before or after

1. Time consuming

2. After solution

is close to dry on body, rub fingers all over and roll any loose balls, webbing, skin, etc. off. (Becomes less and less each time)

1. Wachereia

infection

2. Onchocerciosis

http://www.cdc.gov

/parasites/onchocerciasis/

health_professionals/index.html

3. Kills Wachereia and many other bacterial infections.

Benzyl Peroxide Gel

(Acne.com)

Prior to Doxycycline treatment to the skin, 7 days use dried and peeled skin to uncover effected area.

1. Unsightly

2. Lightens hair

3. Stains clothing

1. Seems microfilaria (eggs) is woven in dead and sickly skin. Parent worm often found in the midst stuck to dead skin that comes off.

Mites, collembola, beetles Onchocerciosis, crawlies in general

Bath in 1 cup of Lysol Complete Clean (Use straw or snorkel to go under water and comb hair close to scalp)

1. Bath will be filled with dead critters, black specks, and "stuff".

2. Body tingles for awhile as it seems to kill stuff just beneath the skin layer

1. Initial bathes cause huge die off that dumps toxins into body and makes you nauseated and sick feeling

2. Does not kill stuff in ears

1. disinfectant killing bacteria on and just below epidermis

2. Kills all critters on skin

Ears and Nose

Sterilize herbal drop bottle in hot water. Dissolve a piece of Doxycycline pill in sterile water and put in dropper. Apply to Q tip to soak nostrils and drop into ears to coat inside.

1. Effected ear(s) dry out and skin inside molts like reptile skin.

1. Can hear skin ripping and pulling away. No pain.

1. Infection in inside of ear killed by topical solution. Dissuades critters from going in.

Mouth

3 drops activated MMS in sterile water. Swish for a minute. Spit out.

Heals and removes bacteria/fungus.

1. Mouth harbors bacteria easily.

Private Area

1. Keep dissolved Doxycycline applied to area often. Rub any "stuff" off.

1. No more problems with anything

1. Not very practical for work setting.

1. Infection may be coming out through urine. A fight to stop re infection.

1. Spray toilet seat alternately with Tilex Mildew spray or Lysol Disinfectant and wipe clean after every use.

1. Removes infection

Environment

1. Clean all surfaces (car) with Lysol Complete Clean. 1 cup to the gallon in hand Garden Pump sprayer and mop moves quickly.

1. Kills mite, bugs, crawlies, bacteria, fungus and mold.

2. Not too expensive if bought by the gallon at Lowe's.

Clothing

1. Boil for 1 hour initially (I figure since it takes this long to kill the silk worm egg, not a bad idea.

2. Soak clothing in washer in Lysol complete clean at least 2 to 3 hours.

1. Boiling kills black specks, mites, bugs, etc.

2. Kills

1. Very time consuming, electric bill tells story, dangerous carrying hot pot to washer

2. Eggs can get by.

May leave bleach spots if not mixed well before adding clothes.

1. Black specks removed. (I feel these are fungal which contain symbiotic bugs, nematodes, and eggs.

3. Iron clothing, undies and all

4. Roll clothing with sticky lint roller while pressing (Check inside of pockets)

3. Helps to remove sticking things and kills live things

4. Removes loosened eggs and fibers.

3. Too hot can melt panties.

Keep Dryer Clean

1. Wipe drum, vent, and doors with white vinegar soaked toweling after every use. Clean floor and walls next to it as well.

1. To prevent clothing re infection.

1. Wash hands often.

1. Dryers are warm and moist. Perfect host to fungus and bacteria.

Bath

Mold

1. Keep a gallon container to fill and slowly pour over bottom of tub as you balance on the side of the bath after use.

2. Thoroughly clean with powdered Comet after every use using a paper towel that can be thrown away.

1. Cut plastic shower curtains off up to the weights.

2. Use a small squeegee

to remove water from bottom of tub

1. Washes fungus, mites, bugs, or whatever that remains on the bottom down drain before cleaning.

1. Keeps curtain from developing mold on bottom

2. Keeps water from contributing to mold

1. Make sure the ledge you sit on is cleaned before you place your buns on it or your feet on the other side.

1. Even when dead, bugs may be pregnant with eggs and can stick to your feet.

1. Don't want crawlies to save themselves with it.

Towels/washcloths

1. Keep a drying rack in bathroom to allow towels to dry until washing

2. Buy thin, white, cheap ones.

1. Prevents mold

2. Easier to disinfect and see any problems

Flip Flops and Shoes

1. Clean Flip Flops with combination of white vinegar and salt in a spray bottle and with a paper towel. Hang to dry on a door hook.

2. Spray inside and bottoms of shoes with Lysol Disinfectant.

1. Kills bugs not bacteria. Clean with Lysol from time to time or replace as needed.

2. Kills bugs, bacteria, and fungus

Rugs

1. 30 activated drops of mms per gallon of water. ¼ of this mixture mixed with water in rug cleaner.

1. Kills bugs, bacteria, fungus in rugs

Fungus

1. Itraconazole 100mg/day for 5 months

2. Body Oil

Mix 16 oz. of melted coconut oil with 100 drops each of the following essential oils: Clove bud, Bitter Orange, Ginger, Tea Tree, Eucalyptus, Lemon Eucalyptus, and about 20 drops of oregano.

3. Cream

Mix Kroger's generic Athlete's foot cream with equal amounts of hydrocortisone, and a little A and D baby ointment.

l

1. Fungus and food cravings gone

2. Kills fungus in scalp and on body.

3. Kills fungus in scalp and on body

1. Expensive!!!!!!!

2. Does not kill critters and seems to feed bacteria

3. Does not kill critters

From: Benton <sarahbenton48@...>bird mites Sent: Thursday, December 22, 2011 1:57 PMSubject: Kajay / jdavid Protocol

What works for me! I will post this and then reply to my own posting with the attachment of the protocol. Love and light,