Young Adults

[Guest guest]

Liz,

No kidding! Everyone is growing up! There isn't a Young Adults group

for CMT anymore, so - take the ball and run!

~ Gretchen

[Guest guest]

My son will be 18 next month. He has already graduated from high school and I am suggesting he take 1 class this summer just to get a feel for college. I feel like I am still doing everything for him...phone calls, appointments. Any suggestions on how to ease him in to adulthood?

Kathy Lee

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy,

I don't know if this answer gives you ideas per say, but I do have a little

perspective on trying out a summer class. It's a great idea! One thing to be

aware of is that most college advisers and professors are accustomed to meeting

with the student, not the parent. In fact, FERPA law does not allow disclosure

of educational information to parents unless your son completes a waiver form.

Don't let this be a discouragement; if anything, it will help illustrate to your

son that more people will be addressing questions to him now. Has he decided

what course to take? Most colleges have a " Freshman Experience " course or

similar " College 101 " study skills seminar that typically goes over all of the

day-to-day stuff about how to navigate college, study skills, etc. Depending

upon his strengths or challenges, he could ask specifically for a class that

fits his needs. Some classes are really discussion-oriented or involve group

projects, others may be writing intensive or exam based. He may also want to

look for a class with a small size so he can get more attention. Community

colleges are usually very familiar with meeting the needs of all types of

students, although they might not have extensive disability services.

Good luck!

-a

>

> My son will be 18 next month. He has already graduated from high school and I

am suggesting he take 1 class this summer just to get a feel for college. I feel

like I am still doing everything for him...phone calls, appointments. Any

suggestions on how to ease him in to adulthood?

>  

> Kathy Lee

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Kathy,

There's a lot of transitional info. available through your County Services. They also offer transitional classes, which might be a good class for him to take over the summer. At home, you could start to transition him from depending on you like an office manager by affixing a White Board to his bedroom door, then making *bullet list of things HE needs to take care of (phone school for class list, make appt. with Social Services, School application due .. etc.).

Start out making the list specific for the first two weeks, ie: 10:00 appointment Tuesday w/Counselor @ College Rm 204. Then gradually become more vague the following two weeks ie: Counseling appt. Tuesday. In this way he will begin to train himself to internalize his own responsibilities. As you become more vague, he may ask for clarification. Answer him with a question, for example; "Mom, what Counselor am I suppose to see on Tuesday? Mom, "Is there something related to school, work or a services that you might need to speak with a Counselor about?" Try to answer each question with a probative question, so he will train himself to engage his memory, the goal being; for him to organize those responsibilities in his own mind so he can become more self sufficient.

Another valuable aid that he can use in conjunction with the white board is one of those full-size desk calendars with the BIG date spaces. Those are neat because they are easy to read and he can see at a glance what is coming up. Encourage him to use that to keep track of specific due dates for exams, events, reports and such, and to transfer the white board information on to. As your white board 'prompts' get more brief, (ie: Counselor) his calendar should be filling up. It might take some months and lots of encouragement for him to manage mostly on his own, but he'll get there! Good Luck!!

From: kathy <kathyrus2@...>Subject: ( ) RE:young adults Date: Thursday, February 25, 2010, 11:49 AM

My son will be 18 next month. He has already graduated from high school and I am suggesting he take 1 class this summer just to get a feel for college. I feel like I am still doing everything for him...phone calls, appointments. Any suggestions on how to ease him in to adulthood?

Kathy Lee

[Guest guest]

My son is 18, too, and I'm trying to figure out what to do to help him on his

way. My son also can't make phone calls or do a lot of things for himself, but

he is making progress. I wish he would drive...

I think its a great idea for your son to take a class over the summer. Just make

sure that it is a class in something that he is interested in and where he can

be successful.

My son spent his last 2.5 years of high school at a great private school for AS

kids and this school encouraged him to take a class at the community college

during his senior year of high school. This was really hard for him. He was

scared to get out of the car the first 2-3 times we went on campus and I had to

practically drag him to the disability office to get him qualified. I had to

hand him the catalog and then hand him a short list of classes that I thought he

would like (and would fit around my work schedule and his sisters schedules).

BUT when he started taking a class, he absolutely loved it.

So I'm following the advice from my son's high school. They said that he should

go to a community college at first as a part-time student and then gradually go

fulltime and then transfer to a university. I had to drag him through

registration for this fall, but for this current semester, he did everything

himself as far as picking the classes he wants to take. They also suggested

that he work with a therapist or a social group and I was lucky to find one that

he actually likes.

I also found a group for parents with adult children with AS and that has been

helpful for me. I've learned that a lot of AS kids start college, but few

actually finish. So I'm worried. My son can't advocate for himself. The

disability office has services they will provide, but he has to ask for them

first.

[Guest guest]

Kathy,

My ds is 21 yo now. I think it was just the last year or so that he has started to take charge of his life. I still have to do things for him, though. But he has started doing more for himself as well. One thing we are doing is we have a joint bank account with him so that we can keep track and help monitor his money. He is doing much better now but in the beginning, it was a real learning process. But it's important that they learn how to manage money and deal with banks. I just taught him how to deposit money the other day. He did it himself, I just had to show him how to fill out the form and explain why he can't take cash until they credit his account, etc. I would look at these kinds of daily living skills and see how you can ease him into learning. My ds was not independent at all at 18. In fact, he just recently got his driver's license. So it's all really started coming together just lately. You may have to realize that his development will be delayed and just because he is 18, he isn't necessarily "ready to go." I think having him take a few classes is a great idea. You get him to slowly get into it and help him find out what he wants to do with his life and work towards that step by step.

Roxanna

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." E. Burke

( ) RE:young adults

My son will be 18 next month. He has already graduated from high school and I am suggesting he take 1 class this summer just to get a feel for college. I feel like I am still doing everything for him...phone calls, appointments. Any suggestions on how to ease him in to adulthood?

Kathy Lee