Guest guest Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 Is this REALLY a parody? I remember a few months ago that there was a story about giving out Lipitor tablets along with fast food meals and that was NOT a parody. The world is going crazy...Sent from my iPadBegin forwarded message:Subject: From Pharma to Table: The Mc's-Pfizer MergerFrom Pharma to Table: The Mc's-Pfizer Mergerhttp://www.thefinaledition.com/article/from-pharma-to-table-the-mcdonalds-pfizer-merger.html By BASIL PESTO 10:15 AM ET Mc\'s new line of BLT: bacon, Lipitor, and tomato. Last night’s unexpected merger between Pfizer and Mc’s sent shock waves through Wall Street, the Pharmaceutical industry and the heavily-processed meat community.“It was a no-brainer, really†remarked Pfizer CEO Ian Read. ‘These beloved brands have long enjoyed a symbiotic corporate relationship. We finally decided that as long as Mc’s is creating new patients for our medications – medications which keep their consumers alive and able to keep walking back to enjoy those 99-cent specials - why not work together?’The top-secret negotiations, months in the making, sent stock prices soaring as Mc’s franchises unveiled a new "McHealth Menu" that reflects the revised business model of Mc’s/Pfizer (now listed as ‘McPfiz’ on the S & P 500).‘The New McBLT, featuring Bacon, Lipitor & Tomato, redefines health & commerce’ says Fred Golgoth, Mc’s VP of Globalization & Happy Meal Toy Development. ‘It’s a logical progression – together we’ll give people the tasty food products they love, and, should said products threaten their health, we also provide the drugs to neutralize that threat.â€New meals include the Angus Chipotle Zithromax BBQ Burger, which provides powerful antibiotics to combat fungal infection, in addition to the undetermined antibiotics injected during a cow’s short life before slaughter. Customer activity indicates strong approval for the merger amongst Mc’s regulars. At a franchise in Bullwhallop, Texas, hungry diner Sue Gompfolker opted for the Premium Crispy Chicken McLyrica Classic. “I’ve got a generalized anxiety disorder, and this allows me to get the anticonvulsant I need, with the bacon I crave.â€Ms. Gompfolker’s elderly mother, , opted for the Big N’ Tasty Celebrex Burger with Mushrooms & Swiss. “Why should I worry about the colon polyps when I’m also eating the cure?†she merrily chirped from her mechanized scooter. Upcoming entrees include the Premium Honey Mustard Diflucan Wrap (with co-pay), the Southern Style Grilled McDouble Viagra Wrap (Ranch), and the all-new McZyloprimRib with Red Meat Wrap for gout sufferers.“It’s the circle of life†remarked Mc’s VP Golgoth. “Pfizer had the vision to partner with the largest fast-food chain in the world.†When reminded that Subway recently surpassed Mc’s as the largest chain, Golgoth replied “Yes, but we’ve still got the largest customers.†Subway is rumored to be in talks with Merck.The newly merged company has already secured preliminary approval from Health and Human Services for Medicare and Medicaid to cover the cost of Mc's Health Menu meals. A small co-pay may be required where brand-name drugs are used, or HHS deems the health-threat of McIngredients to be abnormally high.Future corporate plans include development of a nationwide Insurance Provider Network, tentatively titled ‘McHMO.’ -- Dr. KissunDoctor of Chiropractic Twitter: @richardkissun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 24, 2011 Report Share Posted June 24, 2011 I do not know if it is a parody.I know that the fast food industry funds the nutrition curriculum in medical school. Yes, I know, that is an oxymoron. Nutrition/Medicine.~ Maureen R. Gradvohl ~ From: Meryl Dorey <meryl@...>Subject: Fwd: nice parody"AVN List" <AVN >Cc: "ICE" <bigscrub@...>, "aliasliora" <Lets_Talk_about_Gardasil >, "Vaccinations List" <Vaccinations >, "ph Ierano" <info@...>, "Greg Buchanan" <gregb@...>Date: Friday, June 24, 2011, 5:32 PM Is this REALLY a parody? I remember a few months ago that there was a story about giving out Lipitor tablets along with fast food meals and that was NOT a parody. The world is going crazy...Sent from my iPadBegin forwarded message:Subject: From Pharma to Table: The Mc's-Pfizer MergerFrom Pharma to Table: The Mc's-Pfizer Mergerhttp://www.thefinaledition.com/article/from-pharma-to-table-the-mcdonalds-pfizer-merger.html By BASIL PESTO 10:15 AM ET Mc\'s new line of BLT: bacon, Lipitor, and tomato. Last night’s unexpected merger between Pfizer and Mc’s sent shock waves through Wall Street, the Pharmaceutical industry and the heavily-processed meat community.“It was a no-brainer, really†remarked Pfizer CEO Ian Read. ‘These beloved brands have long enjoyed a symbiotic corporate relationship. We finally decided that as long as Mc’s is creating new patients for our medications – medications which keep their consumers alive and able to keep walking back to enjoy those 99-cent specials - why not work together?’The top-secret negotiations, months in the making, sent stock prices soaring as Mc’s franchises unveiled a new "McHealth Menu" that reflects the revised business model of Mc’s/Pfizer (now listed as ‘McPfiz’ on the S & P 500).‘The New McBLT, featuring Bacon, Lipitor & Tomato, redefines health & commerce’ says Fred Golgoth, Mc’s VP of Globalization & Happy Meal Toy Development. ‘It’s a logical progression – together we’ll give people the tasty food products they love, and, should said products threaten their health, we also provide the drugs to neutralize that threat.â€New meals include the Angus Chipotle Zithromax BBQ Burger, which provides powerful antibiotics to combat fungal infection, in addition to the undetermined antibiotics injected during a cow’s short life before slaughter. Customer activity indicates strong approval for the merger amongst Mc’s regulars. At a franchise in Bullwhallop, Texas, hungry diner Sue Gompfolker opted for the Premium Crispy Chicken McLyrica Classic. “I’ve got a generalized anxiety disorder, and this allows me to get the anticonvulsant I need, with the bacon I crave.â€Ms. Gompfolker’s elderly mother, , opted for the Big N’ Tasty Celebrex Burger with Mushrooms & Swiss. “Why should I worry about the colon polyps when I’m also eating the cure?†she merrily chirped from her mechanized scooter. Upcoming entrees include the Premium Honey Mustard Diflucan Wrap (with co-pay), the Southern Style Grilled McDouble Viagra Wrap (Ranch), and the all-new McZyloprimRib with Red Meat Wrap for gout sufferers.“It’s the circle of life†remarked Mc’s VP Golgoth. “Pfizer had the vision to partner with the largest fast-food chain in the world.†When reminded that Subway recently surpassed Mc’s as the largest chain, Golgoth replied “Yes, but we’ve still got the largest customers.†Subway is rumored to be in talks with Merck.The newly merged company has already secured preliminary approval from Health and Human Services for Medicare and Medicaid to cover the cost of Mc's Health Menu meals. A small co-pay may be required where brand-name drugs are used, or HHS deems the health-threat of McIngredients to be abnormally high.Future corporate plans include development of a nationwide Insurance Provider Network, tentatively titled ‘McHMO.’ -- Dr. KissunDoctor of Chiropractic Twitter: @richardkissun Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 25, 2011 Report Share Posted June 25, 2011 My jaw just dropped! I did not know that. I know the pet food industry funds much of vet school. Good grief. No more fast food for us! Nita, mom to: 18, Jon 16, 14, 12, 9, Christian (7/16/03 to 8/22/04), 5, Isaac 3 and , born 3/1/11http://momof6.dotphoto.com for possibly current pictures and http://nitasspot.blogspot.comLearn from the mistakes of others. Trust me... you can't live long enough to make them all yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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