[Mindful i Mouse] Have You Seen a Woman in a Bad Mood?

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Yesterday was the all time record for a loading at a dock. We sat for 19 hours! At a dock! They loaded 12 pallets and then 12 hours later, loaded one pallet. We still have 29 more to go! We sat through lunch, through dinner, through the night. I was ready to pull my hair out. I can't stand these long sits! We finally got the final pallets at 5am, and our delivery was due at 9am.....400 miles away! I want to bite someone. Yesterday, surprisingly I was not hungry at all. Not once. I stayed very low in calories. I don’t seem to want to eat when I am stressed. I don’t know how or why this has changed. The tension of sitting and waiting got to my husband, even after a full dinner, he went in the trucker lounge and bought some vending snacks. We should get a load to the Yard after this delivery today, and he will have to weigh in at the company doctors, so I am feeling kinda like that isn't going to go too well. I always feel somehow caught in the middle, wanting on one hand to tell him he shouldn't eat more and on the other hand, wanting for him to do what it is he really wants to do...lose or not lose, that is something I want him to decide. I love him no matter what he chooses, I just want him to be happy. I am actually relieved to be finishing my goal in Hawaii, away from the pressure of trying not to be pushing this in his face. I remember how I felt when he was doing so well and losing weight when I was not about 6 years ago. Massive weight loss cannot help but shift things in a marriage, I hope it shifts to good things. At lunch yesterday, I opened a salami that is very different than my usual brand. I have had this one before and did not care for it, but had bought two and now, in order not to waste food, I will finish it. This one has a chewier texture, with large fat globules. I love the fat, it melts like coconuts oil in the mouth. But the meat part, is has a wine taste, and not very seasoned. I will take a photo of it today. I had sliced the salami and layered a slice of cucumber on top, but I noticed that i could not taste the salami when combined, so I ate them separately. I am getting more and more fussy with how I seem to need to taste the food as it is, rather than combine them. I pan fried the sausages last night with some onion and bell pepper, but I ate just a little of it, and really just wanted the melted butter that it was cooked in. I am seeking fat these days. I bet the body has a need for it and is sending signals! lol. I also noticed that the hard candy I bought, is too sweet. Not at first, but now I don't like it. I am tossing it. I am on the fence with A/S, but i really like the Crystal light lemonade candies. They have a pleasant taste. I think when I am on home-time I am going to get the grapefruit drink mix, I remember how I really liked that in a huge drink container with lots of ice. I may even try real grapefruit juice mixed with water, but i will have to see how that affects my BG. Which I forgot to test this morning. And tomorrow is weigh in day! I don't feel as though I have lost weight, but it may be because I am not in a good mood and feeling achy from laying in my bunk too long. As long as I stay in the 220's, I will be ok, but it just makes my 10 pound goal for April 19th that much more elusive. I will try for 880 calories again today. I don't think I will have hunger again today. Weird. --

Posted By i Mouse to Mindful i Mouse at 3/04/2011 06:40:00 AM