[Mindful i Mouse] Week 77 Reports

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Yesterday, I binged for a second day in a row. I started the day trying to fast, drank 3 pots of my herbal teas, felt so awful by 10 am, that I had to eat. I managed a 14 hour fast, but that was it. I regret that I attempted a fast the day after a binge, I was not in the right mind set. My body was not ready. All it served to do was set me up for the binge. I started my coconut oil addition, and the first meal of the day was simply ground beef cooked in beef drippings. I was however not able to continue on this better path, I plunged instead into frenzied eating. Lucky in many ways, there wasn't much in the kitchen in the way of " bad' foods, but I found 3 packages of ramen, 8 coconut cookies, 6 crackers, 1 bag of Happy Cola gummi candies, 3 slices of low carb cheese cake (threw the 4th slice away) and that amounted to this horror feast: Wow, for the fat intake! Triple WOW for the carb intake. My BG was 124 this morning. My weight? Unbelievable at 243.2 I am forced to end my 77th week. I started the month at 229, and now I have gained over 14 pounds! I am not in a good place right now. Not physically, not emotionally. But as in all things in life, when one falls hard to the ground, one has to get up, straighten and brush off one's clothes and start walking again. I take full responsibility for my binges, and here are the rest of this week's ugly reports: This is my average for the week. My daily calories. My BG's. Now, my only hope is that I have freaked my body and mind out enough to perhaps shake it up enough to have low calorie work again. I realize now that I do not need a change of any kind, that I need routine, I need stability and I need what gives me comfort. Back to my 3 meals a day, back to controlling my carb intake and see if I can get back down to 229 in my weight. What I have done to my body makes me angry. It hurts to change my tickers to reflect the gain. It really hurts. That's the nature of the truth. --

Posted By i Mouse to Mindful i Mouse at 3/19/2011 10:03:00 AM