[Mindful i Mouse] Fake Cheese and Rock Candy

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Yesterday's total came out higher than I wanted, but it was because I had 2T of peanut butter at lunchtime when I found out it was going to be about 7 hours before dinner. I ate my lunch, then had peanut butter. I thought about it while eating, that this was an auto-response and had nothing to do with hunger. I noticed that when my calories are very low, I tend to worry more about the future status of my meals than before. It's kinda funny. But a better decision would have been to wait to see if I needed something more to get to dinner. I need to watch this. Side note: Natural peanut butter is difficult to eat off a spoon, it sticks in the mouth and really doesn't taste all that good. I am just not impressed. I admit I like the commercial type better with the whipped texture and sugar. But since I am not a peanut butter fan, I think that unless I make a satay sauce, it will soon be dropped from my menu. I'd rather have raw nuts anyways. I tried to improve the awful taste of that dang nonfat cream cheese by mixing in a teaspoon of mayo. There was no helping it, the fake cream cheese would not blend (I swear it is made of plastic) and it just ruined the taste of the mayonnaise. I hate losing something to eat when I eat so small, but I can't stand this stuff and I will be tossing it out today. I am so irked I didn't look at the package when I bought it, usually I am so careful to make sure I have the full fat stuff. Then for dinner I made a zucchini dish, tossing it with a can of rotel tomatoes, adding more onion and bell pepper in the crock pot and simmering our sausages on top. I added a drizzle of olive oil and a sprinkle of basil to it, it was quite good. So my calories went up, but I stayed under the 1100 guideline. Also, I needed another bag of sugar free candy. Truck stops almost never carry it, which is a shame. Gobs and gobs of candies, you'd think at least one bag of sugar free would be found. I am not all that interested in candy either, I just really like to have one single drop while laying on my bunk and play computer games. it's my little ritual that is pleasing. However many pieces are in that bag, is how many days it will last me. Husband goes through a bag in a day or two. So far, I really like Crystal Lite lemonade drops. Anyways, in the store they carried a local brand of rock candy in lots of flavors, so we each chose a bag and well, I could taste the flavor (pina colada) and it was fine textured and smooth as pure sugar can be, but it lacked the tartness I like. I need to weigh the piece to get a better carb count, but will have to wait until we are not moving. I used an estimate for my calc, there wasn't a nutritional label. I am still reeling from seeing 229 on the scale. It's pretty tenuous, just barely there (may even be more like 229.5) and yet I am sure it is the correct weight. Since tomorrow is the last day of the month, I will weigh again (if the restroom has a handicap stall so I can undress) and see if 229 stuck for a couple of days. Yesterday I looked at my old nutritional program and I am so far behind the " predicted weight loss " line on the graph it was sad to see it. But I also went over some of my calorie counts over time, and they do bounce up and down. Being consistent only happens on a truck run when food is rationed. Food rationing is disciplined eating and I really do prefer it that way. If I relied on intuitive eating, I would be eating a whole lot more. Sick, but true. My sense of intuition is pleasure eating. That is where I bump heads with addiction. It's really kinda funny that at this late age, I find that what I resented and fought all my adult life -restrictive eating- is really the best method for me. I feel so much better when food (and drink) is rationed into the right portion sizes, the calories are reasonable and I don't feel full all the time. What a strange twist in thinking this time around! In other goings on - got an email form my daughter last night saying that her husband is being deployed in 2 weeks, not the 5-6 he was told. I can't change my ticket to go sooner, as it was a special uber cheap one way ticket. It's too bad, I have the time, but not the means to get there any sooner. BG was 88 this morning, I feel great, slept well. I looked in the restroom mirror and thought i looked thinner, and laughed because I know it can all be about the lighting or the mirror distortion, but I felt pleased and f*ck the Wikipedia definition that at my 37 BMI, that I am still morbid obese! --

Posted By i Mouse to Mindful i Mouse at 2/27/2011 05:46:00 AM