Coming back - slowly

[Guest guest]

I seem to be slowly crawling out of my hole. I am nowhere near where I was but I

am getting there. I make a daily plan - activity, food, goals - and that seems

to help. It keeps me focused. I still seem to spend more time crying than

anything else, though. I know that this is part of the grieving process. I also

know, though that my circumstances are not helping the situation any. I am not

working so I am home alone all day. Depression makes me isolate anyway, and then

for my lifestyle to be isolating me as well - not a good combination. My

volunteer program begins again next week so that will get me out of the house

one day a week. And I think I have found a TOPS meeting that I can attend around

my class schedule so that will also get me out of the house. Since I am not

working, though, I try to stay home and limit trips to save on gas and wear and

tear on my car.

One of my worst habits/addictions is eating out so staying home and limiting my

trips helps with that area. I did have one small victory yesterday. I went to

Lowe's to pick up some things and then did my grocery shopping. Grocery shopping

is almost always an eating out trigger! After all that, the last thing I want to

do is come home and cook! I did not even stop for a soda! Yeah me!

I dropped a good bit of weight last week (8 pounds) but I knew I was still

retaining alot of water - ankles were still very puffy from my trip. I have

tried to get all my water in and cut back on the sodium. When I am home, taking

care of myself and cooking for myself, I limit the processed foods which cuts

down considerably on the sodium intake. Also limiting the eating out helps that

alot.

My goal of being under 300 at graduation (Dec 17) is still not unreachable but I

am going to really have to work hard to get there. I am running out of time.

So, off to face another week. The weather is cooler so that will (hopefully) get

me out in the yard working. Rain/clouds expected a good bit of the week, though.

Gray days are always a struggle with the depression as well. Maybe this is a

good time to clean out the closets and the garage so I don't see the gray days.

Hope everyone has a nice holiday and a wonderfully light week!

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