[One Small Bowl] Travel Time on Tuesday

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Written yesterday: Weight down a pound, to 241. BG was 113. Must be stress. This morning I fixed breakfast for my husband, but he complained all morning that he was too full. Didn't stop him from eating it, nor was it any more than what I have fixed each day since he has been home. Must be stress for him too. We loaded up the car by 7am, I put all his groceries away in the truck, made the bed and swept the floor before putting down clean cotton rugs. I sat with him until a dispatch came through. Then it was time for him to leave. We hugged, kissed and said our goodbyes and he said if ever I want to come home, just to come on back, not to feel I must stay a year in I am unhappy about it. That was sweet. But the tears came hard and strong and I could barely drive as I left him. I had to pull down a side street to get my composure. Later, I went to a couple of thrift shops and an antique mall. I needed distraction badly. I did the same old thing, forgot to bring anything to eat and so by 3pm I was pretty hungry. I thought seriously about a mini binge, even had several items in my basket at a grocery store, but something just didn't feel right. I looked at breaded clams, sweet potato fries, single pie servings, sugar cookie mix, corn tortillas and beans. Nothing was grabbing me, even though I was quite hungry. This weird and pervasive thought kept breaking through my mental chaos...... " I just don't do this kind of thing anymore " . I have no idea where that thought came from, but it was a strong thought and I put all the foods back. I never thought that a binge felt out of character for me. I tried to tune into what I really wanted, and that was having a drink instead of eating. I reasoned that if I gave up carby foods for a bit of no-carb rum and just heated up some meat and veggies when I got home, well, I would have myself a rum or two and have a quiet evening home alone and in my new pewter goblet I found today. I wore my new glasses while out today and after a few adjustments on where to look out of my glasses, I soon got the hang of it. It was a bit difficult to see well when my eyes were hunting up and down and all around at the shops and the progressives prevent good sight on the outer edges of the glasses. I felt woozy a couple of times, but when I took them off, my vision was worse. Interesting. I loved how they darkened when I was outside. I have to say, I am still not use to having one pair that does it all and I keep thinking I need to take them off. Silly. Meals yesterday: 6am bowl: eggs and bacon, coffee with cream 3pm bowl: meatballs, roasted carrots and onion, 3 diet pepsi & rum 7pm: mini bag of popcorn 8pm: coconut cream Written today: BG 110. Weight back up 242, but 243 when I hold my camera. I did take a photo as my last recorded weight on hometime. Damn. I feel like such a terrible failure. I really thought I was going to lose some serious weight while home, my calendar has 219 as the goal for my flight day on Tuesday. What a joke. Meals today: 7am bowl: eggs and bacon, coffee with cream 12pm bowl: quiche (beef, carrots, onion, mushrooms, tomatoes, cheese, half and half, eggs) 5pm bowl: quiche again (should be enough left over for breakfast tomorrow) 7pm: rum and coconut cream I spent the morning making sure everything fit in my suitcase and backpack. All those last minute things really start to add up. I then made sure there were no left over foods to rot until my husband returns in 5-6 weeks. I had planned the groceries well while he was home, I had enough to make a skillet quiche of the miscellaneous stuff, leaving just a few items to bring to my parents tomorrow. Unfortunately I completely forgot to have the flounder that is in the freezer, so I will take that to my mother too. I did the last load of laundry and the only thing left to do is go and get a new watch battery and have a little spa afternoon with a manicure and pedicure. Tomorrow I take our car to storage and my parents will pick me up there at 9am. We then head to see my paternal grandmother at the nursing home, then head to my parents house, where I will stay the night and they will take me to the airport in Denver Tuesday morning. I will have a very long travel day, with a 5 hour layover in Seattle before my final flight to Hawaii. I have a can of almonds, a packet of salami and little waxed covered baby bel cheeses to snack on, with a plan to sit down and eat in one of the airport restaurants for a way to break up the layover and to get a hot meal. This will be my last post until I am in Hawaii and settled a bit. --

Posted By One Small Bowl to One Small Bowl at 4/17/2011 11:30:00 AM