[One Small Bowl] Singing in the Rain

[Guest guest]

Yesterday: BG 94. I still weigh 243. I am in ketosis. YAY! 6am bowl: eggs and sausage 11am bowl: egg foo yong (bean sprouts, grated carrot, eggs, pork, butter) 5pm plate: 5-7 chicken baked wings, 2 glasses of wine (sriracha, butter and crushed garlic on the wings) 7pm: coffee, cream, SF syrup, 4 squares of 90% chocolate Yesterday was an enjoyable day. I was happy to eat at least two of my meals from my bowl, feeling more at ease with it in front of my husband. I haven't been much interested in eating, and surprisingly, not even interested in drinking, most likely because of ketosis. I have been focusing on the importance of really tasting the food I eat. When I sit down to eat, I take a moment to look at the colours, the presentation, the aroma, and then taste it. I take a moment now and then to feel the food inside me and where my hunger and satisfaction is. That is becoming second nature now. However, a new sensibility is arising, one that I did not expect. As I have been gearing my eating towards food and drink that sing to me, I realized that there is more to the eating and drinking experience than just the taste of it. When I stopped using my bowl and used a plate, I realized how that affected my eating experience in a negative way. I don’t feel the same calm when eating off a plate, that I have with my bowl. I also had mixed feelings about telling my husband of my bowl method and whether I should just try and “fit in†with our traditions, that was causing a bit of stress. I did not find the taste of the food as satisfying when on a plate. My sense of portion size was off, my sense of satisfaction harder to gauge. I was disconnected to the food as it sat away from me and not in my hand. I now need to be connected to my eating, not disconnected. It is moving away from just being about food. I realized that I was focusing on the negatives, that I wasn’t listening to the other things that go along with the eating experience. Other things could sing, even when the food was not tasting good, or my bowl was absent. Last night I made the chicken wings, a meal I made many times in the past for us. A favourite meal when we had a home and a different lifestyle. I wanted to re-create that, but the taste didn’t sing for me. I was missing my bowl. I thought the meal was a bust, but then I realized that the memories that surfaced, the pleasure of my husband’s company, the moment, the ambience was really singing for me. This was all a part of the meal, a part of the whole. I felt a sort of shock that while I knew this intellectually, I never really considered the importance of it. I paid too much attention to the food itself, not the environment or the ambience. My mental wiring always zooms in on the food. I need to rewire it to take in the whole experience and to hear the entire symphony of the moment. I need to hear each of the notes, listen to the melody of a harmonious moment. Eating is more than placing food in the mouth. I now understand what Gerrard means with the inner symphony. We may hear a familiar melody, but the individual notes can only be heard with listening more intently. Funny, I received satisfaction from a meal I didn’t think tasted all that good. I listened for the part of the meal that sang for me. This morning, BG is 83, weight is 242. I ate breakfast from my bowl. I am happy. --

Posted By One Small Bowl to One Small Bowl at 4/14/2011 08:31:00 AM