[One Small Bowl] I Miss my Nambe!

[Guest guest]

Yesterday my BG was 107. Expected after the buffet the day before. Yesterday's Meals: 5am plate: 2 eggs, bacon, coffee with cream 12pm BOWL: bean sprouts, cubed pork, eggs 6pm plate: 3 chicken sausages, roasted carrots, salad with bleu cheese dressing, 2 glasses of wine. 8pm: 2 squares of 90% chocolate, coffee with cream and SF syrup I just realized that I am leaving in 6 days! Yikes! I am finding that I want to eat from my bowl. The urge is so strong! I dislike the plate, it is so huge, has no personality, there is no connection to the food, as it is when the food is in the bowl, in my hand. I also like eating with chopsticks. I think my husband would worry about my sanity if I ate from my bowl and used chopsticks when we have always eaten together in a formal manner. I am bordering on not minding that at all. I must find the nerve. lol. Last night I laid in bed and thought about what I want, what I need and how I am always getting caught up in finding the " exception " to everything that is keeping me from what I want. I hear my constant justifications……I am on the truck, I am off the truck, I am on hometime, I am alone, I am with my husband, I am…….whatever. Life is a series of events, why would anything keep me from what I want, or allow it to be suspended temporarily? My weight this morning was 243. I am in extremely dangerous territory here and it is so easy to dismiss it and think " oh I will take care of it when XYZ is over with " . I want to take care of it right now. I need and want to get back to what makes me feel better, my bowl, my small eating. I need to get brave about it. I grabbed my bowl at lunchtime, and ate from it with a sort of defiance. It was the easiest of all the meals we eat together to do this. I was a little nervous and felt like I was being an oddball. Husband mentioned that he liked the design of it, I told him how I found it and how I had been eating my meals from it because it was just right in the portion size, that it fit so nice in my hand....he didn't blink at all but didn’t comment either. I wanted to talk about it, I found myself trying to, but I backed off. Yet, I felt calmer holding my bowl and enjoyed my egg foo yong that I made with a sense of relief simply because I was reconnected to my eating. I needed my bowl! I know it sounds silly, but I do not feel as connected to my food and eating when using a plate. I chickened out at the last moment about eating from my bowl for dinner. It just seemed that our dinners are more formal than any other meal we eat at home, I take the time to set the table nicely and so, I feel reluctant to change what he looks forward to after being on the truck. I felt that odd sense of impropriety. I know. It's weird too, that I feel like I cannot figure out how to eat because we eat a certain way together. Salad, for instance. He wants a side salad in the salad bowls. This is enough for an entire meal for me. Gerrard says to eat in courses, so I suppose I could do that, but it would mean getting up and washing my bowl for the next course. On the truck, I ate from a bowl he ate from a bowl-plate. At home, we always upped our eating ways with our good china and crystal wine glasses. Would I be taking away from that? Dinner for me, wasn't spectacular in the flavours. I would have only eaten 2 sausages, as I served a steak to husband and I had wanted fish, but his streak was so small, so I threw some sausages in the mix as he won't eat fish. I didn’t want to make too much food, so I ate sausages. I was done eating, but he wanted half a sausage and asked if I wanted the other half, I said ok, but he put nearly a whole one on my plate while I was in the kitchen putting the coffee on. Oh well. The coffee and chocolate was excellent, we have found a new coffee we both like very much and the chocolate is nice and bitter, so it contrasts perfectly when I slightly sweeten the coffee with SF syrup. Otherwise I don’t sweeten coffee. In the evening it does taste good to have a dessert coffee. My eyeglasses arrived yesterday, I now have the progressive and transition lenses, and all I can say is that wow...it sure takes getting use to! I couldn't see at first and thought they had messed up the prescription, but now, a few hours later, I am getting the hang of how to look through them, where to find the sweet spot of vision. I hope this gets better, from all I read on the net about progressives, it can take up to 2 weeks to get use to them. The trick is to point your nose at what you want to see, move your head, not your eyes. I haven’t see the glasses get more than slightly dark yet, but I also read that they won’t darken in a car and so far, other than picking them up in the late afternoon, I have not been outside with them. I am excited to discover that I can now read, see my knitting, my computer screen and then TV all with the same pair of glasses. I just need my eyes to get use to focusing in the right places in the glasses. --

Posted By One Small Bowl to One Small Bowl at 4/13/2011 04:47:00 AM