[Mindful i Mouse] Up and Down Calories

[Guest guest]

I have been getting the most wonderful email from my daughter, who wants to lose weight and wants to try my low carb lifestyle herself. She is determined that when I get there we will diet together and get the rest of this weight off. I love her ideas of walking early in the morning, of swimming and the hikes in the Hawaiian hills. I had worried how it would all pan out, as the last time I was there I had to fight the snack monster daily as she had pizza night, fast food nights, counters with bakery goods, chips and candy all over the place. While I did very well while there (only a 5 pound gain) for 2 months, I didn't know how I would handle a whole year in that environment. Now, I have a partner to support and be supported by and the focus will be on health for us and the children. Can't get any better than that! I have no idea how I am doing right now. Yesterday was a tough one. I was harassed by a jerk on one of my low carb groups that triggered some old feelings of when I was abused by an ex. It's been a very long time since I felt those feelings and it surprised me on how instant it was. I had to run away from the ex and go into hiding and was stalked for 2 years. Verbal abuse, belittling, needling, it all penetrates the normally thick armor eventually. This guy has been doing this to the women on the group and the owner was slow to correct it. It made me sit back and think about how wonderful my husband is, how grateful I am to be able to trust a man again through his loving care. I also had to work through strong hunger yesterday. It's kinda strange to become intimate friends with hunger. At first, I feared hunger, always eating at the slightest hint. Then I learned to wait until the next meal. Through that, I learned that hunger came in waves, just like a roller coaster, even completely going away for awhile, only to start up again later. But now, with my calories dropping significantly, the hunger is changing character again. Now, after a few waves, it finds it's sweet spot and stays there. About 5-7 hours after the last meal, I feel different, like a unpleasant gnawing sensation in my stomach. I noticed that a can of diet pepsi tasted good (refreshing the mouth) but that it " burned " my stomach and it was very hard to tell if I was feeling hunger or the soda pop. I had noticed this many times previously, that soda pop can make one feel hungry. Today, I will try drinking just water and see if I can stay hungry longer. With the strong hunger and another late schedule, we decided at the last minute when we arrived at the truck stop to have dinner in the restaurant. I was like a kid in a candy store.....oh how I wanted to eat! We both checked over the buffet and decided to have that. I had a plate full of salad first, oh, how crispy and fresh that tasted! Then I had tiny portions of all the meats, boiled cabbage, a zucchini and tomato combination. I went back for more tiny portions of meat and then had 1 walnut size piece of bread pudding that tasted just like a cinnamon roll (I used that calculation) and 1 T of chocolate mousse. Those little tiny portions just gave me a taste of sweet without the damage of too much sugar. I was of course, too full, and I thought how I really didn't need to eat that much (a fraction of what I use to be able to eat at a buffet) so I marveled over the changes that have happened throughout this dieting stint. Also, I noticed that at this buffet, the food was quite mediocre, bland and nothing as good as our local Golden Chorale. But when a person is truly and deeply hungry, there is a sense of wonder and marvel over ANY food. You could have placed 6 hard boiled eggs in front of me and I would have relished every bite! lol. My buffet meal: The full day ended up being: and the week's estimate: If I can manage to keep my next 3 days at 880 (so far, I haven't managed it) I should see a weight loss on Saturday. We are running out of groceries, and we are not able to stop yet (tight driving schedule) so I may end up eating some canned meats or fish, we'll see. It shouldn't affect my calories too much. This 880 isn't a make or break deal, it is mostly an experiment in hunger and seeing if I can break 231 to 229. At least I seem to be fooling my body as the calories certainly have been jumping all over the place. Oh, and BG 2 hours after dinner last night was 110, this morning 98. As soon as those carbs hit 50...up goes by BG every time. Sigh. --

Posted By i Mouse to Mindful i Mouse at 2/24/2011 06:58:00 AM