Hello, After A Long Absence . . .

[Guest guest]

The following diary entry explains what's been going on with me lately, and how I've come to terms with it:

"Sunday, November 06th, 2011, 6:06 p.m., 74 Degrees:

Summertime temps for November. But ok. I just came in from meandering around the yard contemplating my flab. I’m up to 263.2. Since last entry there has been a lot to happen, starting with us losing our house. We’re hoping to move into a hunting cabin soon, we’ll see. We’re going to go look at them tomorrow on the way back from taking Mother to the doctor. Today was a

springboard to going back on program. I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and what I’ve figured out I have to do is literally live day to day. Wake up every day and log what food I KNOW I’m going to be eating that day and try to get some sort of exercise routine going and sticking with it. Today I had my program all mapped out, had done a SP blog entry and was sticking to my guns on keeping to my tracked food and Mother comes in with part of her dinner that she couldn’t eat expecting me to eat it. It wasn’t a whole lot of food, just about two forkfuls of steak, but dammit, I do not want to eat over my tracking.

I want to reprint something I wrote a while back:

Listen. You HAVE to believe in your own ability. STOP MAKING EXCUSES and STAY ON PROGRAM! You know you can do it. You know what to do. Say it with me now NO MORE EXCUSES I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!! Let's do this NOW!!!!!!!!

Back to our regularly scheduled programming. I have been making excuses. I have been blaming others. I realize the problem is me, and now I realize what it’s going to take to really, really do this once and for all. Day by day. Ask myself as I get up what can I do today to better my chances of losing weight, and then do it. The next day get up and do it again. I won’t think about tomorrow, I won’t think about next week, or next month, or next year. Just the day at hand and no more, I simply cannot do it any other way. So with today being put to bed, on to tomorrow when it gets here."

I have been really really down and I'm trying so hard not to get tied up in knots but, it's getting harder every day because I simply do not know what each day holds. So there it is and here I am trying again.

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"This is no longer about what I HOPE to accomplish. This is about what I MEAN to accomplish." - Sapphyre

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"If I look down the road and see how far I have to go, I may get discouraged. If I overthink every aspect of what I need to do to succeed I may give up. If I focus on just today and make it as perfect as I can, I will succeed." -Sapphyre