[One Small Bowl] Dr Strangelove

[Guest guest]

Yesterday's Foods 7am bowl: 1 egg, bacon 11am bowl, Portuguese sausage, spinach, tomatoes, bell pepper, scrambled egg 4pm bowl: chicken curry with cauliflower and coconut cream 7pm bowl: salad with bleu cheese dressing and liver pate 9pmbowl: cauliflower in cream and shredded cheese Liquids: 1 cup coffee with cream 2 T coconut/butter/cocoa/stevia mixture 1/4 gallon fresh lemonade with peppermint tea mixed in 1 rum 1 cup of coffee with cream coconut cream with SF cocoa, butter and coconut oil 1/3 liter diet pepsi Yesterday was a strange day. The beginning was fine, but by evening, I was getting restless and somewhat anxious. I had no idea why. I was not hungry after the wonderful curry I made, but I kept wanting to eat....or something. Several times I hunted through the kitchen, tried to tune in on what it was I wanted. Nothing was appealing to me, so I thought I must be lacking in a vitamin, so I made a salad. It tasted fine, but that wasn't it. I later ate mashed up cauliflower, but that wasn't it either. I will note that even with the extra food I ate that was past the need (hunger) I felt no sensation of overeating at any time. That was strange. I felt fine, I just had no idea what was going on. It almost bothered me that I wasn't hungry. Come, on, I have been hungry most of my life and now I can't even get hungry enough to eat when I don't need to! lol. While I had no idea why I was foraging, another strange thing happened. I decided to kick back and have a drink and watch a DVD I have of old 1950's TV shows. I got a small glass, filled it with ice and poured some rum into it. It tasted good and I sipped it quite slowly. I thought I wanted just one more, poured it, then didn't want it the moment I took one more sip. I poured it out in the sink. I stopped to think about that incident and then realized what I am doing is TASTING every bite and sip and experiencing the process of eating and drinking and there is an inherent deep satisfaction that is coming naturally and taking away the need for more. I am not use to being satisfied....and that is strange! lol. I have read these mindful books several times in the last 10 years. I " got " the concepts, but always felt it was too strange to follow the principles. Now, it is like it is all kicking in, a light switch being flipped on and I am now seeing what it really means to be mindful. I use to think it meant being ever so good and doing all the little techniques even though it felt weird to pay so much attention to every single bite. I still think it is silly in a way. What I didn't expect was that I get a deep down satisfaction from the food and drink that I never got before. Strange! Me? Not wanting another drink? Me? Not eating whatever was in the fridge just because it was there? There is a major shift going on, some sort of realignment between my thinking and my body. My body is gaining a voice, it is communicating with me and instead of sounding like a foreign language, I am understanding the message. That is strange. This all extended into this morning. I was tired from staying up too late last night. Normally, being tired means eating to smooth out the tiredness. I was on autopilot when I made the coffee, 2 eggs and 2 small sausage patties. I sat down and started eating, noting the flavours, noting that I soon had a very strong stop, meaning I could not finish it. Strange. Nothing ever stopped me from eating when I was not hungry. This is all going beyond my mental games of deciding when enough is enough (whether bingeing or starving) it is just happening naturally. Granted, ketosis has a definite foot in the door, but I am aware of the change. I understand now what Gerrard meant when he said to put any food you want into the bowl, but taste every bite of it. Once the taste awareness becomes a habit, one doesn't have to think about it, it just happens naturally. These are exciting (but very strange) times for me. Oh, and another thing....coconut cream. I usually buy coconut milk for my curries, but noticed I had a can of coconut cream in the cupboard, I opened it up, tasted it and WOW!!!! What a wonderful taste! It was thick like whipped cream and was naturally sweet. I loved it! I really didn't need very much for the curry, so later on I put some in my bowl and put the cocoa stuff on top, as seen in this photo of the foods I ate yesterday (I didn't photo graph the cauliflower or salad though): Eggs and bacon, Portuguese sausage and spinach, chicken & cauliflower curry, coconut cream and cocoa-butter-coconut oil mixture. BG this morning was 92! --

Posted By One Small Bowl to One Small Bowl at 4/03/2011 08:18:00 AM