motd Friday July 29, 2011

[Guest guest]

MISTER

KNOW-IT-ALL

Friday, 29 July 2011

I'm a little upset today. And

why? Well, because I keep getting letters from women

who're trying their best to lose weight. Of course,

that's a good thing. But here's the part that upsets

me. Making it harder for them to lose weight are

husbands who're not so supportive of their efforts.

And, on top of that, they try to be know-it-alls

about the "right way" to lose weight. Go

figure!

Last week, I received an E-mail from a lady who'd lost

a great deal of weight when she was younger. But over

the years, she gained most of it back. But in spite

of regaining the weight, she met the man who would

later become her husband. As it turns out, he had

some weight to lose, too. After they were married and

began settling into their lives, the two of them

decided to go to work losing the weight together.

But the dice didn't roll quite the

way she expected and let me tell you why. See, when

it was time to sit down and plan their meals, her

husband was nowhere to be found to help with the

planning. When she wanted to go for a healthy walk

and have him join her, he'd say he was "too busy" and

she'd end up walking alone. So as you can see, she

was getting absolutely no support from her

husband. But wait, it gets worse!

Would you believe, in spite of his never being around

to join in the meal-planning or the exercise, her

husband still came to think of himself as an "expert"

about losing weight! Get this. He was always telling

his wife what she was doing wrong with the meals she

prepared. But while she was slowly-but-surely losing

weight, his own weight was staying the same. So

excuse me, but where was he getting the idea that he

was the "expert"? Mr.

Kow-It-All!

Here she was, dedicated and

working hard to drop the pounds. And yet her husband,

who was supposed to be losing weight with

her, was doing nothing to help her or

himself. Because he was so insensitive, it really

hurt her feelings. And I'm sure you know what that

feels like. Your mouth gets dry, your hands tremble

and soon, the tears begin to slow. It's not a good

feeling, is it?

Even after she'd lost her first 15

pounds, he said she wasn't losing the weight fast

enough. The nerve! But she worked hard to

see beyond his constant criticism and that's when she

wrote me for advice. She wanted to know what she

should do to get her husband to lay off with his

annoying weight-loss suggestions.

Hmmm, let me think. Maybe she could make him sleep on

the sofa. No? Wait, I've got it, make him sleep in

the back yard! No, no, no...these punishments weren't

tough enough. Maybe she could grab a pair of scissors

and cut up all of his clothes! Okay, okay, I'm just

kidding. None of those are good ideas...although he

was just about asking for it! LOL.

But seriously, there was a big lack of communication

between she and her husband. If you think about it,

in a sense, he was really sorta bullying

her! Hey, I should know because I've known lots of

bullies in my life. But thankfully, not anymore.

I told her that she should sit down with her husband

and, yes, read him the riot act! Tell him that she

deserved his respect and support. If he wasn't going

to join in her weight-loss efforts, he could at least

be more understanding about what she was trying to do

and the hard work she was putting into it.

Oh yes, besides the bullies, I've

had my share of critics in my life, too. But when

push comes to shove, I set those critics straight and

remind them of the proper way to treat others.

I also shared with this lady the story of how some

husbands had been supportive of their wives

weight-loss efforts. And with that spousal support,

they were able to lose weight and get healthy. I told

her to have that conversation with her husband and

give him another chance to join her in losing the

weight and to stop putting her down.

Let's face it, we all need support. And hey, when you

share a bed with someone, you certainly need and deserve the

support of your partner.

And if you don't get that support,

remind him that he may soon be packing his blanket for

a good night's sleep...in the back yard!

Love,