[Mindful i Mouse] Little Miss Thundercloud

[Guest guest]

I really wanted to weigh in today, as the last day of the month, but we spent the night at a receiver and there wasn't a restroom. Yes, I am very crabby over that. How easy for husband to use his bottle. Grrrrr. I had to hunt down a hidden corner. I hate this life more and more. Husband called me his Little Miss Thundercloud today. I do notice my irritation level is growing. I know that these are the very last weeks and days I will see my husband for a year and it stresses me that I feel annoyed with it all. I should be Little Miss Sunshine and making this time a good time to remember. The loads lately have been hard, not enough miles (we are paid by the mile) and long waits (lost income) and up here in NJ, not enough places to park where there is a restroom. Crabbiness prevails. I think the low calories contribute to the crabbiness too. Not that I am feeling internally bad, but more that I am on edge, dealing with a low level of constant hunger and yet, I only want to keep it there. That's weird to me. I made it on 876 calories yesterday without much ado, but I felt the urgency to eat this morning and it wasn't all that pleasant. Fine now, after breakfast. But I could eat half a dozen eggs and a pound of bacon right now. And gallons of coffee with cream. Sigh. I did not have protein for lunch yesterday, I wanted to eat up the rest of the zucchini dish I had made. I added butter to it to give it some fat, but I really missed my salami. The thing I am also noticing about very low calorie is that it is easy to do a day or two and then it seems the body wants more and the hunger changes swiftly into more urgency. I think that is why I end up with 1200 calories every few days. This is all fascinating to me. I feel like I am finally getting to know my own body on a more intimate level. It helps me understand what I really need rather than rely on what I really want. I have been thinking of some things to do while home, one is to try on my wedding dress again. Last July. I last tried it on in July of last year, so I want a few pictures of it almost a year later, before I am at goal and then I can take a final photo of it. It's funny, my daughter talks about fitting in to her's again one day, and I talk about drowning someday in mine! lol. Every single piece of clothing I own will be gone through too. I have to let go of those that do not fit, rework the ones that do. I need to start thinking about my style, the colours I want to wear in the future, by starting it now. I literally feel a bit afraid of clothing right now, it's so easy to just wear T-shirts and jeans. I want my sense of style back. I want to wear heels again, makeup. I want to be a girl! lol. It's horrible to weigh 300 pounds and not find any clothes to wear that isn't a horrid orange or purple or has a huge design on it. I long to wear wool skirts and silk blouses, thin and delicate sweater sets, pearls. I adore vintage clothing, hats, gloves. Soon, very soon I can experiment with that. I cannot wait! At 225, I will feel I am finally hitting a milestone, in the sense that from that point on down, I feel more normal in size. At 217, I will hit the milestone of losing 100 pounds! I am so close to these goals I can taste it. lol. BG was 81 today. Yippy! --

Posted By i Mouse to Mindful i Mouse at 2/28/2011 09:22:00 AM

[Guest guest]

Husband called me his Little Miss Thundercloud today.

Awwwww I hope things get better so you can spend your last few weeks on a good note and not separate for a year with crabbiness prevailing hon.

When Jay splurges and spoils me, I tease him and tell him he's my Sugar Daddy so therefore I am Daddy's Little Girl LOL!!

When it was really cold here he was calling me his eskimo girl....

Anyway - hang in there a few more weeks and then enjoy your year with your grandbabies before you head off to the other side of the world.

_

[Guest guest]

Thanks, . Just a few more days....

From: ABrite@...

Sent: Saturday, March 05, 2011 9:29 AM

100-plus

Subject: Re: [Mindful i Mouse] Little Miss Thundercloud

Husband called me his Little Miss Thundercloud today.

Awwwww I hope things get better so you can spend your last few weeks on a good note and not separate for a year with crabbiness prevailing hon.When Jay splurges and spoils me, I tease him and tell him he's my Sugar Daddy so therefore I am Daddy's Little Girl LOL!!When it was really cold here he was calling me his eskimo girl.... Anyway - hang in there a few more weeks and then enjoy your year with your grandbabies before you head off to the other side of the world.

_