Re: Doing it the right way

[Guest guest]

On 3/1/2011 4:20 PM, Stacey wrote:

Well, the other day I found out my friend was

rushed to the hospital to have emergency surgery bc the band

slipped. Wow! I had never thought about that. It just goes to

show that this way, the way we are doing it, naturally really is

healthier. I wish her no harm and she is doing fine now. It is

just nice to know that I have made a good choice.

That's one thing they never publicize about the surgery - all the

complications. The ads don't mention the (sometimes multiple times)

daily vomiting, the eroded stomachs, like ulcers from the outside

in, from too-tight bands, passageways so small that anything larger

than a kernel of corn will get stuck, the slippage that can block

the stomach opening off completely. Surgeons only count

complications, including death, if they occur in the first 30 days

post-op, even though most of them occur long after, sometimes years

later.

All this for a loss 10 - 20% of the excess weight before the regain

starts around the 2 year mark.

Sue Widemark's site http://obesitysurgery-info.com/

has lots of good information on all the types of weight loss

surgery.

Sue in NJ

[Guest guest]

Stacey, it is a subject we all have to deal with at some point. The bariatric surgery is no longer the “last resort†that it use to be. There is not even a weight requirement any more, I just read about a woman that was 40 pounds overweight having it done. My daughter has the band, one of my best friends had the bypass, and I know of several others who have had it done too.

It’s a different ballgame now. I watched them, listened to them and realized that the main difference between a person who does it through self discipline and one who has the aid of something that prevents overeating is that in the end, owning your discipline gives you the chance to change how you think about food that can last the rest of your life. My 480 pound friend lost half her excess weight with the bypass and looked awful. She had been overweight her entire life, including childhood, so her skin did not do well with such a massive weightloss on such a small body (she was 4’ 9†tall). She came to visit us and she wouldn’t/couldn’t eat the meals I prepared. In front of my husband she would sip protein drinks, but when we were out shopping for the day, she wanted to stop at fast food restaurants and nibble burgers, ice cream and she bought a huge box of chocolates and nibbled on those. She constantly talked about food and then how she had stalled and needed to get back on her “dietâ€. So nothing really changed in her mindset or what she had to deal with. My daughter, she endured nausea and couldn’t eat but a bite of food at a time. She was always miserable. 2 or 3 years later....she wants to go on a diet with me when I come to live with her! It seems it didn’t work somehow for her, although I am not sure why, with a recent pregnancy, she may have had the ring removed. I’ve asked, but haven’t received an answer yet.

My intention is not to say it doesn’t work but more that it often isn’t what we imagine it to be. One still has to do the “mind†work after the surgery or the issues that made us gain weight will always be at hand. I have, in essence, created the same thing as surgery with reduced stomachs, I have eaten less and less food over a long period of time until I can only hold just so much food at a time. And yet, like anyone with a reduced stomach, I can stretch it back out if I could not let go of the eating issues. Any glance at a forum dedicated to bariatric surgery will show just how many people “suffer†the consequences of still eating too much and how many still struggle to lose weight years after the procedure was done.

You are right, that taking charge of our destiny, doing the hard work behind the weight loss does indeed give a sense of control over our eating and our bodies. 2 years ago, you could not have convinced me that I could ever lose weight again. Now, here I am, doing it. I shocked my own self! lol.

From: Stacey

Sent: Tuesday, March 01, 2011 3:20 PM

100-plus

Subject: Doing it the right way

I have a friend. Our moms have been friends for a long time. They went to college together. The friend and I only became close in the last 10 years or so. Our lives are pretty different. She's about 5 years younger than I am. She enjoys partying and having fun, clubs, etc. She's a lawyer, bought her own house, nice care. I am married and have 5 kids. I'm a stay home homeschooling mom living overseas. Our mos are close and so we've become close. The one thing we had in common was our weight. Both of us were overweight, considerably. A few years ago she had lap band surgery. I was happy for her, btu OI also felt jealous a bit. The weight was something we had in common. We could really relate on that issue despite our many differences. I suppose I felt a little jealous as well. She began losing weight and I was still fat! She took the one thing we had in common, our bond. She took control and made a change. And my mom loves her. Loves her like her own daughter. I once told my mom that, "Marcia can do no wrong in your eyes." But when we both had the weight, it made her seem more normal to me. Now with her weight loss... I feel like we are different. Next to her, I feel like less. Very sad, I know. I know my mom loves me and my family, but part of her wishes I had chose Marcia's path as well. That is hard sometimes. Anyway after she had surgery and I saw how great she looked for the first time, I began considering it. She highly recommended it, of course. Somehow though, it felt like cheating. I felt like if I didn't have to work so hard to lose the weight, would I appreciate it? How would I feel? I imagine and pray that I lose this 100+ pounds one day. When I do (I gotta say when, not it) I want to be proud of all the hard work I did. I want to be able to say look what I did!!! Look what I made happen. And that has always been in the back of my mind and is what has made me keep the thoughts of the surgery at an arm's length (that and the cost). Well, the other day I found out my friend was rushed to the hospital to have emergency surgery bc the band slipped. Wow! I had never thought about that. It just goes to show that this way, the way we are doing it, naturally really is healthier. I wish her no harm and she is doing fine now. It is just nice to know that I have made a good choice.

Thanks for reading.

Stacey

[Guest guest]

Thanks for that article Sue. I hope my post last night didn't sound like I am glad about my friend's situation or anything similiar. I was on my way to bed and realize I may have worded somethings badly. I'm happy to say she is doing fine and home from the hospital. She had to have the band removed. She lost 130 lbs from it. Now she'll have to work like the rest of us. As she said she's "normal" again. StaceySent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from STCFrom: Sue in NJ <sue_in_nj@...>Sender: 100-plus Date: Wed, 02 Mar 2011 05:06:41 -0500<100-plus >Reply 100-plus Subject: Re: Doing it the right way On 3/1/2011 4:20 PM, Stacey wrote: Well, the other day I found out my friend wasrushed to the hospital to have emergency surgery bc the bandslipped. Wow! I had never thought about that. It just goes toshow that this way, the way we are doing it, naturally really ishealthier. I wish her no harm and she is doing fine now. It isjust nice to know that I have made a good choice.That's one thing they never publicize about the surgery - all thecomplications. The ads don't mention the (sometimes multiple times)daily vomiting, the eroded stomachs, like ulcers from the outsidein, from too-tight bands, passageways so small that anything largerthan a kernel of corn will get stuck, the slippage that can blockthe stomach opening off completely. Surgeons only countcomplications, including death, if they occur in the first 30 dayspost-op, even though most of them occur long after, sometimes yearslater. All this for a loss 10 - 20% of the excess weight before the regainstarts around the 2 year mark.Sue Widemark's site http://obesitysurgery-info.com/has lots of good information on all the types of weight losssurgery.Sue in NJ

[Guest guest]

, exactly! The discipline is not there when you choose this route. I understand that some ppl have medical emergencies and have little choice. And the band saves their life. Or a similar surgery. But most ppl are choosing the easier way out. That's natural. Most ppl would choose an easier way over a harder way. But as you say, most of them don't take learn about how to eat. As much as I always wish I was naturally thin, I think it can be a blessing that I am not. Bc if I didn't have to worry about how I eat, healthwise, I'd eat junk all the time. I'd be thin but still unhealthy. What good is that?StaceySent from my BlackBerry® wireless device from STCFrom: "i Mouse" <martini.mouse@...>Sender: 100-plus Date: Wed, 2 Mar 2011 08:25:26 -0600<100-plus >Reply 100-plus Subject: Re: Doing it the right way Stacey, it is a subject we all have to deal with at some point. The bariatric surgery is no longer the “last resort†that it use to be. There is not even a weight requirement any more, I just read about a woman that was 40 pounds overweight having it done. My daughter has the band, one of my best friends had the bypass, and I know of several others who have had it done too. It’s a different ballgame now. I watched them, listened to them and realized that the main difference between a person who does it through self discipline and one who has the aid of something that prevents overeating is that in the end, owning your discipline gives you the chance to change how you think about food that can last the rest of your life. My 480 pound friend lost half her excess weight with the bypass and looked awful. She had been overweight her entire life, including childhood, so her skin did not do well with such a massive weightloss on such a small body (she was 4’ 9†tall). She came to visit us and she wouldn’t/couldn’t eat the meals I prepared. In front of my husband she would sip protein drinks, but when we were out shopping for the day, she wanted to stop at fast food restaurants and nibble burgers, ice cream and she bought a huge box of chocolates and nibbled on those. She constantly talked about food and then how she had stalled and needed to get back on her “dietâ€. So nothing really changed in her mindset or what she had to deal with. My daughter, she endured nausea and couldn’t eat but a bite of food at a time. She was always miserable. 2 or 3 years later....she wants to go on a diet with me when I come to live with her! It seems it didn’t work somehow for her, although I am not sure why, with a recent pregnancy, she may have had the ring removed. I’ve asked, but haven’t received an answer yet. My intention is not to say it doesn’t work but more that it often isn’t what we imagine it to be. One still has to do the “mind†work after the surgery or the issues that made us gain weight will always be at hand. I have, in essence, created the same thing as surgery with reduced stomachs, I have eaten less and less food over a long period of time until I can only hold just so much food at a time. And yet, like anyone with a reduced stomach, I can stretch it back out if I could not let go of the eating issues. Any glance at a forum dedicated to bariatric surgery will show just how many people “suffer†the consequences of still eating too much and how many still struggle to lose weight years after the procedure was done. You are right, that taking charge of our destiny, doing the hard work behind the weight loss does indeed give a sense of control over our eating and our bodies. 2 years ago, you could not have convinced me that I could ever lose weight again. Now, here I am, doing it. I shocked my own self! lol. From: Stacey Sent: Tuesday, March 01, 2011 3:20 PM100-plus Subject: Doing it the right wayI have a friend. Our moms have been friends for a long time. They went to college together. The friend and I only became close in the last 10 years or so. Our lives are pretty different. She's about 5 years younger than I am. She enjoys partying and having fun, clubs, etc. She's a lawyer, bought her own house, nice care. I am married and have 5 kids. I'm a stay home homeschooling mom living overseas. Our mos are close and so we've become close. The one thing we had in common was our weight. Both of us were overweight, considerably. A few years ago she had lap band surgery. I was happy for her, btu OI also felt jealous a bit. The weight was something we had in common. We could really relate on that issue despite our many differences. I suppose I felt a little jealous as well. She began losing weight and I was still fat! She took the one thing we had in common, our bond. She took control and made a change. And my mom loves her. Loves her like her own daughter. I once told my mom that, "Marcia can do no wrong in your eyes." But when we both had the weight, it made her seem more normal to me. Now with her weight loss... I feel like we are different. Next to her, I feel like less. Very sad, I know. I know my mom loves me and my family, but part of her wishes I had chose Marcia's path as well. That is hard sometimes. Anyway after she had surgery and I saw how great she looked for the first time, I began considering it. She highly recommended it, of course. Somehow though, it felt like cheating. I felt like if I didn't have to work so hard to lose the weight, would I appreciate it? How would I feel? I imagine and pray that I lose this 100+ pounds one day. When I do (I gotta say when, not it) I want to be proud of all the hard work I did. I want to be able to say look what I did!!! Look what I made happen. And that has always been in the back of my mind and is what has made me keep the thoughts of the surgery at an arm's length (that and the cost). Well, the other day I found out my friend was rushed to the hospital to have emergency surgery bc the band slipped. Wow! I had never thought about that. It just goes to show that this way, the way we are doing it, naturally really is healthier. I wish her no harm and she is doing fine now. It is just nice to know that I have made a good choice. Thanks for reading. Stacey

[Guest guest]

Last week at my doctor's visit; my physician suggested that we look at the surgical band as an option for me to lose weight. She knows my history. She knows my health condition. She has been with me the past 10 years as I have worked on losing weight. The health conditions I have may make the surgical band a necessity for me to consider. My physician and I are going to be researching it and start going thru the process for me to have the surgery. We both figure that I have up until the time of surgery to decide if I really want the surgery or not. It is a tool that I am going to research and consider using. Dacia<>< "In that day the deaf will hear the Word . . . " Isaiah 29:18Lutheran Deaf Mission Society - South Wisconsin Branchwww.JesusPah.orgSee Jesus . . . Serve Jesus

[Guest guest]

Dacia,  I understand. As I said, sometimes it is necessary. And for those cases, I am so glad we have it. If you do decide please let us know how it goes. Whatever happens, I wish you the best.

StaceyOn Wed, Mar 2, 2011 at 10:44 PM, Dacia <dereinke@...> wrote:

 

Last week at my doctor's visit; my physician suggested that we look at the surgical band as an option for me to lose weight.  She knows my history.  She knows my health condition.  She has been with me the past 10 years as I have worked on losing weight. 

The health conditions I have may make the surgical band a necessity for me to consider.  My physician and I are going to be researching it and start going thru the process for me to have the surgery.  We both figure that I have up until the time of surgery to decide if I really want the surgery or not. 

It is a tool that I am going to research and consider using.   Dacia

<><  " In that day the deaf will hear the Word . . . " Isaiah 29:18

Lutheran Deaf Mission Society - South Wisconsin Branch

www.JesusPah.org

See Jesus . . . Serve Jesus

 

 

[Guest guest]

I am very interested in your thoughts and experience with this. Please don’t feel as though we object to it, I support you 100% in your decision. It’s can be a controversial topic, but always worth exploring.

From: Dacia

Sent: Wednesday, March 02, 2011 1:44 PM

100-plus

Subject: Re: Doing it the right way

Last week at my doctor's visit; my physician suggested that we look at the surgical band as an option for me to lose weight. She knows my history. She knows my health condition. She has been with me the past 10 years as I have worked on losing weight. The health conditions I have may make the surgical band a necessity for me to consider. My physician and I are going to be researching it and start going thru the process for me to have the surgery. We both figure that I have up until the time of surgery to decide if I really want the surgery or not. It is a tool that I am going to research and consider using.

Dacia

<><

"In that day the deaf will hear the Word . . . " Isaiah 29:18

Lutheran Deaf Mission Society - South Wisconsin Branchwww.JesusPah.org

See Jesus . . . Serve Jesus

[Guest guest]

That’s exactly why I had second thoughts and backed out of having the bariatric surgery. My friend and I started the process at the same time, she went forward with it, but did not change her mind set about eating. It became a game with her, to see how much she could eat of different amounts and I fear she is on her way to stretching her stomach back out. Before I went for the surgery, I suddenly realized that having a smaller stomach wasn’t going to stop me from eating if I really wanted to. The majority of the time when I am eating I am realizing that I am not even hungry. Bored, lonely, depressed, stressed to the max. But very rarely hungry. And why should that stop from having a smaller stomach. I felt certain that I would end up out-eating the surgery and bust the band or stretch my stomach right back out again. I enjoy food too much. I look forward to it, but wish I could hate it. I am feeling like the change has to come from within me in order to win this battle. Unfortunately I am having a rough time getting that change to come. I start a new diet plan, last for a couple of weeks and something sends me right back to crappy eating again.

, I’ve been following your posts with great interest. You are a big inspiration to me and I am gearing up for another go-round, trying to figure out what my next plan of attack is. After you posted your weights and amounts of calories eaten for the last 72 weeks, I’ve been thinking about following your lead and seeing if I can match your weight loss. I am over 350 pounds right now and almost ready to try again. I’ve just started the book Overcoming Overeating and was thinking of giving that a try. So many times I eat when I’m not hungry. I understand the basics for the book, but I can’t shut my stupid brain off that keeps telling me to turn to food for comfort. I wish I could find something else that would suffice instead.

Patti

From: i Mouse

100-plus

Sent: Wednesday, March 02, 2011 10:25 AM

Subject: Re: Doing it the right way

Stacey, it is a subject we all have to deal with at some point. The bariatric surgery is no longer the “last resort†that it use to be. There is not even a weight requirement any more, I just read about a woman that was 40 pounds overweight having it done. My daughter has the band, one of my best friends had the bypass, and I know of several others who have had it done too.

It’s a different ballgame now. I watched them, listened to them and realized that the main difference between a person who does it through self discipline and one who has the aid of something that prevents overeating is that in the end, owning your discipline gives you the chance to change how you think about food that can last the rest of your life. My 480 pound friend lost half her excess weight with the bypass and looked awful. She had been overweight her entire life, including childhood, so her skin did not do well with such a massive weightloss on such a small body (she was 4’ 9†tall). She came to visit us and she wouldn’t/couldn’t eat the meals I prepared. In front of my husband she would sip protein drinks, but when we were out shopping for the day, she wanted to stop at fast food restaurants and nibble burgers, ice cream and she bought a huge box of chocolates and nibbled on those. She constantly talked about food and then how she had stalled and needed to get back on her “dietâ€. So nothing really changed in her mindset or what she had to deal with. My daughter, she endured nausea and couldn’t eat but a bite of food at a time. She was always miserable. 2 or 3 years later....she wants to go on a diet with me when I come to live with her! It seems it didn’t work somehow for her, although I am not sure why, with a recent pregnancy, she may have had the ring removed. I’ve asked, but haven’t received an answer yet.

My intention is not to say it doesn’t work but more that it often isn’t what we imagine it to be. One still has to do the “mind†work after the surgery or the issues that made us gain weight will always be at hand. I have, in essence, created the same thing as surgery with reduced stomachs, I have eaten less and less food over a long period of time until I can only hold just so much food at a time. And yet, like anyone with a reduced stomach, I can stretch it back out if I could not let go of the eating issues. Any glance at a forum dedicated to bariatric surgery will show just how many people “suffer†the consequences of still eating too much and how many still struggle to lose weight years after the procedure was done.

You are right, that taking charge of our destiny, doing the hard work behind the weight loss does indeed give a sense of control over our eating and our bodies. 2 years ago, you could not have convinced me that I could ever lose weight again. Now, here I am, doing it. I shocked my own self! lol.

[Guest guest]

Thanks, Patti!

I did not start out on a diet...I started by buying a nutritional software and just logging what I ate. It was all about practicing just doing it. It brought a reality check like no other. I soon figured out how much to eat so that I would be hungry for the next meal and much later, learned to lessen the calories to be hungry more often. This was all a long process, but one I have stayed with longer than any other diet I have ever been on. While I do aim for certain calorie levels, my ONLY diet rule is only that I logged everything I eat. This gives me the freedom to make choices, use other tools (like mindful eating) and can never ever fail. I have had many changes in what I eat over the time period, and I have had a few binges, but I log them and take note about it and move on. To me, this is real life eating, doing well when I can, learning to recognize triggers, how I feel, where my emotions are. The one constant is logging my foods and writing about what I am going through. There is no more starting and stopping and starting over again. I continue to try new things....work it....I will get to goal some day. I will never give this up!

From: pseratte@...

Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 8:57 PM

100-plus

Subject: Re: Doing it the right way

, I’ve been following your posts with great interest. You are a big inspiration to me and I am gearing up for another go-round, trying to figure out what my next plan of attack is. After you posted your weights and amounts of calories eaten for the last 72 weeks, I’ve been thinking about following your lead and seeing if I can match your weight loss. I am over 350 pounds right now and almost ready to try again. I’ve just started the book Overcoming Overeating and was thinking of giving that a try. So many times I eat when I’m not hungry. I understand the basics for the book, but I can’t shut my stupid brain off that keeps telling me to turn to food for comfort. I wish I could find something else that would suffice instead.

Patti

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I must admit, I am struggling. I did well logging my food for the first 4 days, but the first time I went on a binge, I had no idea what the calories might be, so I have 2 days of no idea what calories I ate. I start out feeling so strong but within a few days I am losing it again. Yesterday I did well until about 5 pm, then began craving pizza. I struggled with the craving for about an hour before caving and ordering out. I even ordered a piece of toll house pie to finish it off. So I ruined the good I did on Saturday and then Sunday is a given that it will be ruined since I had a bunch of leftover cold pizza which I immediately started on for breakfast. I am really pissed at myself. I have dieted before successfully, so why am I having such a hard time now?

Patti

From: i Mouse

Sent: Friday, March 18, 2011 11:56 AM

100-plus

Subject: Re: Doing it the right way

Thanks, Patti!

I did not start out on a diet...I started by buying a nutritional software and just logging what I ate. It was all about practicing just doing it. It brought a reality check like no other. I soon figured out how much to eat so that I would be hungry for the next meal and much later, learned to lessen the calories to be hungry more often. This was all a long process, but one I have stayed with longer than any other diet I have ever been on. While I do aim for certain calorie levels, my ONLY diet rule is only that I logged everything I eat. This gives me the freedom to make choices, use other tools (like mindful eating) and can never ever fail. I have had many changes in what I eat over the time period, and I have had a few binges, but I log them and take note about it and move on. To me, this is real life eating, doing well when I can, learning to recognize triggers, how I feel, where my emotions are. The one constant is logging my foods and writing about what I am going through. There is no more starting and stopping and starting over again. I continue to try new things....work it....I will get to goal some day. I will never give this up!

[Guest guest]

Patti, try to not judge or give a label to the way or amount you eat. Stand aside and simply observe it. Do write down the foods and the amounts of it you eat, even if it is just an estimate. Count up the calories of the estimate. Keep it to compare to another day. Average your calories over a month’s time rather than count up one days as a failure. The point is, that to keep the ball rolling on a new path, you have to be willing to learn that new direction by letting yourself be new to the experience. What that means is to look at how and why and when you eat with new eyes. Drop all the ideas you have had about the way you should eat and observe how you do eat. I can’t stress enough the importance of staying in a reality check at all times. I didn’t get to week 78 by being perfect and binge free....I got here by working on understanding my behaviours, my eating styles, my acceptance of my issues and resolutions. Every step of the way was about exploring where my head was at and where I wanted to go. A change in diet and weight is not a point A to point B road. I is point A to point Z....a very long and constantly changing road trip that may very well last a life time.

Learning not to give up is key. Taking each meal as chance to change and not starting over every day (false illusion anyways) you build upon your own experiences. Even when I was able to be the strictest with my own diet, I still had to deal with how I felt about it. Even when I binged or ate poor choices (for my diabetes) I knew deep down it was temporary and that I wanted to feel good again, which always pulled me soon out of the negative thinking. Think in terms of continuance, not of perfect days. Think of it as being much like having to go to work every day. It is something you need to do to keep a roof over your head and food on the table and clothes on your back. You need to work a daily plan to improve your food choices, find a balance in the amount of food you eat and watch and pay attention to your feelings, thoughts and actions regarding it. It can have it’s moments of being overwhelming, but allow that to come and go like the tide. Be an observer of your own self, as though you are here to take care of you in a loving and healthy way.

You cannot ruin a good day. You can only make a choice that did not or did benefit you. Think about how it makes you feel, how the food felt in your body, how it changed your mood, outlook or thinking. A couple of days ago, I ate 6 Belgian waffles with butter and syrup after dinner and drank 3 or 4 glasses of wine. I became so sick the next day that I could not stand it. I suffered horrible gastric distress because my body has changed. Had I eaten that years ago, I would not have blinked, nor felt it. But now, after eating small for so long, after paying attention to how good it feels to be hungry and satisfying that hunger with just the right amount of food so that I don’t feel stuffed, but “just rightâ€, I can’t eat like that without severe consequences. I did not beret myself, I realized I had an issue I was not dealing with and I knew what direction to go in to solve it. Did this mean my 78 weeks is down the drain? Do I have to start over? Nope. I continue on, learning, experimenting and finding my path once again. I can only do that through honesty, paying attention, having reality checks about my eating and moving forward.

Periodically I will whine and complain about how long it is taking, how frustrated I am and how I can’t seem to lose weight anymore, but that is all part of it too. It is an ongoing process of change. Make the decision to never quit again.

From: pseratte@...

Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 3:47 PM

100-plus

Subject: Re: Doing it the right way

Hi ,

I must admit, I am struggling. I did well logging my food for the first 4 days, but the first time I went on a binge, I had no idea what the calories might be, so I have 2 days of no idea what calories I ate. I start out feeling so strong but within a few days I am losing it again. Yesterday I did well until about 5 pm, then began craving pizza. I struggled with the craving for about an hour before caving and ordering out. I even ordered a piece of toll house pie to finish it off. So I ruined the good I did on Saturday and then Sunday is a given that it will be ruined since I had a bunch of leftover cold pizza which I immediately started on for breakfast. I am really pissed at myself. I have dieted before successfully, so why am I having such a hard time now?

Patti

From: i Mouse

Sent: Friday, March 18, 2011 11:56 AM

100-plus

Subject: Re: Doing it the right way

Thanks, Patti!

I did not start out on a diet...I started by buying a nutritional software and just logging what I ate. It was all about practicing just doing it. It brought a reality check like no other. I soon figured out how much to eat so that I would be hungry for the next meal and much later, learned to lessen the calories to be hungry more often. This was all a long process, but one I have stayed with longer than any other diet I have ever been on. While I do aim for certain calorie levels, my ONLY diet rule is only that I logged everything I eat. This gives me the freedom to make choices, use other tools (like mindful eating) and can never ever fail. I have had many changes in what I eat over the time period, and I have had a few binges, but I log them and take note about it and move on. To me, this is real life eating, doing well when I can, learning to recognize triggers, how I feel, where my emotions are. The one constant is logging my foods and writing about what I am going through. There is no more starting and stopping and starting over again. I continue to try new things....work it....I will get to goal some day. I will never give this up!

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the encouragement. I am back plugging away at the diet immediately after my misstep, instead of going crazy for a few weeks with crappy eating. You are absolutely right. When I mess up one meal does not mean I have to give up and start over a new day. The next meal is an opportunity to make better choices. I’m feeling encouraged and hopeful.

Patti in Upstate NY

From: One Small Bowl

Sent: Monday, March 28, 2011 7:42 AM

100-plus

Subject: Re: Doing it the right way

Patti, try to not judge or give a label to the way or amount you eat. Stand aside and simply observe it. Do write down the foods and the amounts of it you eat, even if it is just an estimate. Count up the calories of the estimate. Keep it to compare to another day. Average your calories over a month’s time rather than count up one days as a failure. The point is, that to keep the ball rolling on a new path, you have to be willing to learn that new direction by letting yourself be new to the experience. What that means is to look at how and why and when you eat with new eyes. Drop all the ideas you have had about the way you should eat and observe how you do eat. I can’t stress enough the importance of staying in a reality check at all times. I didn’t get to week 78 by being perfect and binge free....I got here by working on understanding my behaviours, my eating styles, my acceptance of my issues and resolutions. Every step of the way was about exploring where my head was at and where I wanted to go. A change in diet and weight is not a point A to point B road. I is point A to point Z....a very long and constantly changing road trip that may very well last a life time.

Learning not to give up is key. Taking each meal as chance to change and not starting over every day (false illusion anyways) you build upon your own experiences. Even when I was able to be the strictest with my own diet, I still had to deal with how I felt about it. Even when I binged or ate poor choices (for my diabetes) I knew deep down it was temporary and that I wanted to feel good again, which always pulled me soon out of the negative thinking. Think in terms of continuance, not of perfect days. Think of it as being much like having to go to work every day. It is something you need to do to keep a roof over your head and food on the table and clothes on your back. You need to work a daily plan to improve your food choices, find a balance in the amount of food you eat and watch and pay attention to your feelings, thoughts and actions regarding it. It can have it’s moments of being overwhelming, but allow that to come and go like the tide. Be an observer of your own self, as though you are here to take care of you in a loving and healthy way.

You cannot ruin a good day. You can only make a choice that did not or did benefit you. Think about how it makes you feel, how the food felt in your body, how it changed your mood, outlook or thinking. A couple of days ago, I ate 6 Belgian waffles with butter and syrup after dinner and drank 3 or 4 glasses of wine. I became so sick the next day that I could not stand it. I suffered horrible gastric distress because my body has changed. Had I eaten that years ago, I would not have blinked, nor felt it. But now, after eating small for so long, after paying attention to how good it feels to be hungry and satisfying that hunger with just the right amount of food so that I don’t feel stuffed, but “just rightâ€, I can’t eat like that without severe consequences. I did not beret myself, I realized I had an issue I was not dealing with and I knew what direction to go in to solve it. Did this mean my 78 weeks is down the drain? Do I have to start over? Nope. I continue on, learning, experimenting and finding my path once again. I can only do that through honesty, paying attention, having reality checks about my eating and moving forward.

Periodically I will whine and complain about how long it is taking, how frustrated I am and how I can’t seem to lose weight anymore, but that is all part of it too. It is an ongoing process of change. Make the decision to never quit again.

From: pseratte@...

Sent: Sunday, March 27, 2011 3:47 PM

100-plus

Subject: Re: Doing it the right way

Hi ,

I must admit, I am struggling. I did well logging my food for the first 4 days, but the first time I went on a binge, I had no idea what the calories might be, so I have 2 days of no idea what calories I ate. I start out feeling so strong but within a few days I am losing it again. Yesterday I did well until about 5 pm, then began craving pizza. I struggled with the craving for about an hour before caving and ordering out. I even ordered a piece of toll house pie to finish it off. So I ruined the good I did on Saturday and then Sunday is a given that it will be ruined since I had a bunch of leftover cold pizza which I immediately started on for breakfast. I am really pissed at myself. I have dieted before successfully, so why am I having such a hard time now?

Patti

From: i Mouse

Sent: Friday, March 18, 2011 11:56 AM

100-plus

Subject: Re: Doing it the right way

Thanks, Patti!

I did not start out on a diet...I started by buying a nutritional software and just logging what I ate. It was all about practicing just doing it. It brought a reality check like no other. I soon figured out how much to eat so that I would be hungry for the next meal and much later, learned to lessen the calories to be hungry more often. This was all a long process, but one I have stayed with longer than any other diet I have ever been on. While I do aim for certain calorie levels, my ONLY diet rule is only that I logged everything I eat. This gives me the freedom to make choices, use other tools (like mindful eating) and can never ever fail. I have had many changes in what I eat over the time period, and I have had a few binges, but I log them and take note about it and move on. To me, this is real life eating, doing well when I can, learning to recognize triggers, how I feel, where my emotions are. The one constant is logging my foods and writing about what I am going through. There is no more starting and stopping and starting over again. I continue to try new things....work it....I will get to goal some day. I will never give this up!