motd Tuesday August 16, 2011

[Guest guest]

SALES PITCH

Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Once a week, I sit at my desk and look over

all of the E-mail I receive from companies or

individuals who want me to endorse their new

products. You can imagine, after all the years of

doing what I do, the things I've been asked to

endorse. Yes, you can imagine but you may

not believe some of them, that's for

sure.

Now look. I've been preaching the same

sermon for years. So the people who send me their

sales pitches should know by now that I'm not a

gimmicky person. But that doesn't stop them from

sending their gimmicky products on to me. Let me

tell you about some of them.

Seems somebody's discovered a root from Estonia that

supposedly melts the fat in your body. (Uh, huh.)

Now come on, tell me that's not chuckle material.

An herb that "melts fat?" Sure.

Then of course there're pills out there

that promise they'll simply "take away your

hunger." Oh, yeah? Well, the only thing that'll

take away my hunger is being hit by a

big-old 18-wheeler. I guess I wouldn't be hungry

after that, right?

Then of course, there are the exercise products that

promise you a fit body in, six weeks, working out

only 10 minutes-a-day. (Yeah,

right.) Companies send me prototypes of their new

exercise products to try out. And yes, I look them

over and read the instructions but I rarely get on

or try any of them. Why? Well, because I can see

what they do and, more often than not, I realize I

can do the same things for my body without the use

of their elaborate machines. Besides, some of these

machines are so huge, they take up a lot of space.

I always wonder, where would someone put this

contraption in their homes?

Now I have to tell you, I write back to

every one of these companies or people who send me

their products to review. I don't tell them how I

really feel about their products because I don't

want to insult them or hurt their feelings. (Gee, I

don't like my feelings hurt, ya' know.)

When I return their products, I thank them very

much but let them know I'll not be able to give an

endorsement. And I do wish them well because, truth

is, I wish everyone well.

Time for some more truth, though. I wish they'd

stop pushing all of these gimmicky products because

there're so many gullible people out there. And

yes, they're all looking for that "miracle" that's

going to help them lose weight. Now you and I both

know that miracles don't come from herbs, in the

shape of some pill or in a machine that looks like

it'll do your body more harm than good. Hey, the miracle

is...inside you!

That miracle is wrapped up in the tried-and-true

formula I've shared with your for decades on how to

successfully lose weight and keep it off. Here's

that formula for you, one more time.

Love yourself. Move your

body. Watch your portions. Hey,

no gimmick there. But it sure will get you into

smaller-sized underwear!

Love,