[Mindful i Mouse] Smoother and Firmer Skin

[Guest guest]

We woke up this morning to heavy snow. Bye Bye California weather. The place we stopped had a counterfoil of sleeping puppies that had a breathing mechanism. The cute factor about did me in. I wanted one so bad. There goes that desire thing again. I want it now! I tried so hard to resist. This morning it was shower day, so I had to walk past them and sigh...twice! I noticed in the shower this morning, that my skin is not as loose! I have firmed up somehow just about everywhere. I had thought the loose skin was irreparable due to my age. But there seems to be hope that it just needed to catch up a bit. I am very pleased and excited about that. Also, when I put on my fresh clothes that actually fit, the jeans and t-shirt I was wearing was enormous in comparison. I threw them in the trash right then and there. That felt good to do. It's kinda scary though, as just about everything I have is too big. But it is my plan of action, too big, too baggy, it goes. My undies are too big too. I am drowning in size 12. I have some size 10's and they are too big. When I get home, I will sort through the undies and toss the ones that won't stay up. The last time I went through these kinds of changes was when I was in my mid 30's. I remember it took me a little under a year to lose 120 pounds. It's weird that I can't remember the different stages, as I did not journal back then. There are a few highlights in my memory bank, but not enough to gauge what I was going through during the entire loss period. I do remember being complimented at work when I had lost about half of it, but it seemed that one day I was obese and the next I was thin. It was like stepping out on to a stage and being in the spotlight. No real transition period that I can recall. There were no support groups back then for maintaining weight, I just thought that it was being normal to be thin and had no clue that I was about to enter the twilight zone of inexperience. This time I am journaling, I am paying attention to the different thoughts and the minute changes as I go through it all. Having kept track, helps me see the changes by comparing it to something from the past. I have a lot of the journal entries I have made over the course of this diet, but unfortunately I had a blog at Sparkpeople until I realized that I could google what I wrote and it wasn't exclusive to the board. This meant my family could search for it and I deleted it. So I have lost all of that. This time around I want to be able to reflect back on where I was at and how I got to here from there. I don't want to suddenly be standing in the spotlight and feel I missed my line. lol. Feeling good, feeling a loss, feeling so much better in clothes that aren't baggy. I must always remember how wonderful this feels when I am tempted to indulge in food for immediate gratification. It's just not worth the feeling afterwards....THIS feeling is so worth it! --

Posted By i Mouse to Mindful i Mouse at 1/20/2011 07:18:00 AM