[Mindful i Mouse] Better and Adding a New Goal

[Guest guest]

Late night driving, but we were thankfully done by midnight. I was really tired as I had only had 5 hours of sleep earlier. A hot shower this morning, clean clothes and I feel much better. I breathed, I relaxed, I knitted. I was able to keep my calories under 1000 yesterday. That is about as little as I can eat and feel fine. The eggs and sausage for breakfast was special, we had the time, so I cooked up a hot breakfast as a treat. Been a long hard couple of days. My husband has been stressed and it shows, he continues to buy food after dinner. He did it again last night when I had just fallen asleep, he went and got some fast food and whatever else, I don't know, he was quick to take the trash out this morning. His BG was 115 this morning, showing a bit of the added treats from last night, but the real test he needs to do is 1 and 2 hours after eating those extra high carb meals. I leave it alone, I don't want to play mamma bear. Mine was 94, with 8g of carbs yesterday I cannot help but shake my head, it's a decent reading but I should be down in the 70's with that carb number. If I ate all the potatoes and bread and candy that my husband does, I would be up around 200 in a heartbeat. It has been difficult for me to stay in a positive frame of mind with my diet. I know it will come back when I see the weight move again, but in the meantime, I still feel like a fish out of water, flopping around. A good deal of this comes from sitting in a truck, not having much else to think of. Husband suggests that I weigh again in a couple of days, that maybe it will show up then. I will probably do that. When I was walking to the restroom this morning, I could not help but feel like there is a change in weight, I felt thinner, lighter somehow. I put on a pair of jeans after my shower that were snug when on my last home time, now they feel less snug, I could pull the waist band out about 2 inches. But now of this is showing up on the scale or the tape measure. I am also at the point that very few of my bra’s fit anymore. I’ve decided that when I am home, I am going to go through every single item of clothing I have and make decisions. Since I will be gone a year and WILL be a normal weight by the time I get back, I cannot see any reason to keep anything that is too big right now. I would rather have a handful of clothes that fit than to keep clothes I cannot wear. I did this with the larger clothes last July, so I think it is time to do it again. Then I need to head to the store and get my summer clothes. Last summer I wore capri’s for the first time in 30 years. Now, this summer, I will take a deep breath and wear shorts! When I think my body can handle it, I will sew vintage style sun dresses. I also think I will grow my hair back out. Since I last cut it in January, it will be easy to mark the growth. It should be back down to my tailbone in 3 years, just about the time we go back to Denmark. I was sad to have to cut it last year, it just couldn’t handle when I dyed it, bleached it and then all the dieting killed it even more. I kept losing so much hair and it got so tangled all of the time. Now, it is all new hair, all natural and I am not losing hair anymore. It feels thicker and healthier. Just something to do again. My longest length last year: The first picture was when I weighed over 300 pounds, the second, I was down to about 270. Most of my weight was in the belly, so there doesn’t seem to be too much difference here. But there is a huge difference in the quality and health of my hair. Looking at these pictures I can see that I have lost the arm fat, the bulky shoulders too. Hmmmm….that was a positive experience to see it. --

Posted By i Mouse to Mindful i Mouse at 2/20/2011 11:39:00 AM