's motd Wednesday January 5, 2010

[Guest guest]

TOO SENSITIVE?

Wednesday, 05 January 2011

I have to tell you, I've always

been very sensitive when people talk to me about my

weight. (Most of us are.) People we know talk to us

about our weight and the need to lose it in different

ways. First, there's the "soft way."

"Now, , you know I love you very much. But

you've just got to get a handle on your weight. The

older you get, the more your weight will slowly kill

you! I don't want that and I know you don't want it

either. That's why you've got to do something about

your weight. I'll be here for you anytime you need

some help. But you've really got to do

this."

Then there's the more harsh way.

"Just look at you! I can't believe how fat you've

gotten. What' wrong with you, letting yourself go

like this? You're actually killing yourself with a

knife and fork! You're so out of shape that you can

hardly walk a couple of blocks without getting

completely out of breath. And look what the weight

has done to your appearance. Why, you don't even

look like the same person anymore. For goodness

sake, why don't you just quit eating so much and

you'll finally lose this weight!"

Now when you're already sensitive about your weight,

(and who isn't), you're easily upset when people

begin making comments about what you weigh.

But let's face it, the whole weight-thing is a very

private matter. And when someone says something to

you about your weight, you often feel as if you're

under attack. (I know.) And when you feel under

siege like that, you don't want to hear another word

of criticism from anyone about what you

weigh.

When someone is in your face about your weight,

sometimes you just clam up. But after they've

finished, you carry the pain of their words inside you

all day. It's as if their words were on tape playing

back inside your head...over and over again! And

worse, sometimes their words stay in your head so long

and hurt so much, you turn to food in an attempt to

comfort yourself and drown out the words that hurt

you.

Now I have to ask, do you think that maybe, just

maybe, you're a little too sensitive? (I

know I've been.) I used to get this whole nervous

feeling inside my stomach when people criticized my

weight. Oh, they made me feel like such a failure.

But as long as you're carrying extra weight, you'll

always be surrounded by and hear from the critics.

The critic could be one of your

parents, a spouse, a sibling or even a coworker. But

if someone's saying something to you about your

weight, something you really don't feel like hearing,

please take a deep breath. Take time to actually

listen to what they're saying. Why? Because

maybe someone very close to you will discuss your

weight and their concern may push you to do something

positive...to lose the weight!

Another thing, you may

be one of those people who criticizes yourself about what

you weigh...all the time. Well, if you fall into that

category, then you've got to stop that, too. You need

to encourage yourself to stay on program.

With that kind of positive reinforcement, believe

me...you will!

On that day you do reach your goal weight,

all of the criticism will stop. And in its place,

you'll be hearing praises and compliments about how

good you look! And oh, let me tell you, that's

going to be a great feeling. You'll have earned

all of that praise. Now...there's something

for you to be sensitive about!

Love,

[Guest guest]

I am totally against this about it being acceptable to accept criticism about our weight. So what if we take out “weight†and substitute "ugly face� How would that read? Check below.

It is NOT acceptable to make anyone feel bad about themselves in any disapproving way, not out of love nor concern. While RS has made it his life goal to help people lose weight, (bless him for that), people must want to change for themselves, not because someone else thinks it is necessary.

How many of us have deep scars from unsolicited advice or demeaning comments? I know I do.

From: Sue in NJ

Sent: Wednesday, January 05, 2011 3:42 AM

~100-plus ; ~RSDeal

Subject: 's motd Wednesday January 5, 2010

TOO SENSITIVE?

Wednesday, 05 January 2011

I have to tell you, I've always been very sensitive when people talk to me about my ugly face. (Most of us are.) People we know talk to us about our ugly face and the need to have cosmetic surgery on it in different ways. First, there's the "soft way." "Now, , you know I love you very much. But you've just got to get a handle on your ugly face. The older you get, the more your ugly face will slowly kill you! I don't want that and I know you don't want it either. That's why you've got to do something about your ugly face. I'll be here for you anytime you need some help. But you've really got to do this."

Then there's the more harsh way. "Just look at you! I can't believe how ugly you've gotten. What' wrong with you, letting yourself go like this? You're actually killing yourself with such ugliness! You're so ugly that you can hardly walk a couple of blocks without getting noticed. And look what the ugliness has done to your appearance. Why, you don't even look like the same person anymore. For goodness sake, why don't you just quit looking so ugly so much and you'll finally get the surgery!"Now when you're already sensitive about your ugly face, (and who isn't), you're easily upset when people begin making comments about what you look like. But let's face it, the whole appearance thing is a very private matter. And when someone says something to you about your ugly face, you often feel as if you're under attack. (I know.) And when you feel under siege like that, you don't want to hear another word of criticism from anyone about what you look like.When someone is in your face about your ugly face, sometimes you just clam up. But after they've finished, you carry the pain of their words inside you all day. It's as if their words were on tape playing back inside your head...over and over again! And worse, sometimes their words stay in your head so long and hurt so much, you turn to hiding in an attempt to comfort yourself and drown out the words that hurt you.

Now I have to ask, do you think that maybe, just maybe, you're a little too sensitive? (I know I've been.) I used to get this whole nervous feeling inside my stomach when people criticized my ugly face. Oh, they made me feel like such a failure. But as long as you're carrying extra ugliness, you'll always be surrounded by and hear from the critics.

The critic could be one of your parents, a spouse, a sibling or even a coworker. But if someone's saying something to you about your ugliness, something you really don't feel like hearing, please take a deep breath. Take time to actually listen to what they're saying. Why? Because maybe someone very close to you will discuss your ugliness and their concern may push you to do something positive...to lose the ugly face!

Another thing, you may be one of those people who criticizes yourself about what you look like...all the time. Well, if you fall into that category, then you've got to stop that, too. You need to encourage yourself to get the surgery. With that kind of positive reinforcement, believe me...you will!On that day you do reach your surgery date, all of the criticism will stop. And in its place, you'll be hearing praises and compliments about how good you look! And oh, let me tell you, that's going to be a great feeling. You'll have earned all of that praise. Now...there's something for you to be sensitive about!Love,