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[Mindful i Mouse] High Silk Hose and Peek-a-boo Clothes

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Thinking again. One of my other goals for this year was to curb my impulse to buy things. I am not a hoarder or anything like that, in fact not only have I significantly reduced all of our household effects down to a minimum of what we need (anticipating having to ship all our stuff to Europe in 3 years). Yet I still have a couple of impulses that take hold, one is dolls (my passion and hobby) and bowls. Yes, I know that sounds weird, I mean who gets worked up about bowls? I do. Some women go gaga over shoes, I get giddy about bowls. Small, unique bowls to eat from. Every time I think I have found the perfect one, I find yet another. This is the same with dolls. I thought it was today we were going to hit the antique mall, but it is Thursday. So my thoughts gather around the possibility of finding a perfect doll or a perfect bowl….you know the one that will make me squeal with delight? I never do this with clothes. I am in sore need of clothes. I am sitting in baggy, hanging off me clothes. If I walked into a clothing store right now, I would yawn. I was wondering if my obesity has dampened my sense of self for so long that I feel I could never feel good in clothing again, so why bother? I mean it doesn’t matter what my body size is to buy something else, like a bowl. If I look horribly lumpy in everything, what does it matter, beyond covering the mass and be done with it? The last time I was in the thrift shop, I forced myself to venture over where the normal sized clothing was and found so many items I would love to wear. I felt the excitement grow when I found a lovely angora sweater with pearl buttons, a silk dress, a beautiful dress in cobalt blue, all vintage, all in excellent condition. All were a size 12. Sigh. Someday. I miss feeling feminine. I pushed the clothes on the plus size rack, piece by piece, finding them well worn, some even with stains. Ugly old fat clothes, horrid colours, just not making me feel any impulse to spend money (however cheap) on it. I am just not there yet, I am just not feeling it. But I long for it. East is east and west is west And the wrong one I have chose Let's go where I'll keep on wearin' Those frills and flowers and buttons and bows Rings and things and buttons and bows Don't bury me in this prairie Take me where the cement grows Let's move down to some big town Where they love a gal by the cut o' her clothes And I'll stand out In buttons and bows I'll love you in buckskin Or skirts that I've homespun But I'll love ya' longer, stronger where Yer friends don't tote a gun My bones denounce the buckboard bounce And the cactus hurts my toes Let's vamoose where gals keep usin' Those silks and satins and linen that shows And I'm all yours in buttons and bows Gimme eastern trimmin' where women are women In high silk hose and peek-a-boo clothes And French perfume that rocks the room And I'm all yours in buttons and bows --

Posted By i Mouse to Mindful i Mouse at 1/18/2011 11:51:00 AM

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