's motd Monday January 17, 2011

[Guest guest]

"DEAR FOOD"

Monday, 17 January 2011

I know you've all heard the term,

Dear Letter. But do you know the

definition of the phrase? Well, a Dear

Letter is written by a woman informing her

boyfriend or fiance that she's ending her relationship

with him. Or it could be from a woman informing her

husband that she wants a divorce. Hey, that's gotta

be a hard letter to write. And, for the person on the

receiving end, it's got to be an even harder letter to

read.

Rejection, in any shape

or form, can simply crush you. And after receiving

one of those Dear Letters, I wonder how

many times some people read them...and re-read

them, over-and-over again? (I'd think it would only

make the pain worse!) Oh, the words from that letter

stay lodged in their minds, I'm sure, for a very long

time.

Well today, we're not going to write a Dear

Letter. No, we're going to write a "Dear

Food Letter." See, you have to inform the food

that you're ending the compulsive relationship you've

had with it for all of these years. Yes, it's time to

tell the food...you want a divorce! I don't

want you shouting the news from your rooftop though.

I want you to take pen and paper in hand and actually

write this letter. (Okay, you can use you

keyboard, too.) This letter is not going to be any

easier to write than a classic Dear Letter.

So I'm going to give you an example of some of the

things you'll want to say to the food. (You can fill

in anything you think I left out that suits your own

situation.) Okay, ready?

Dear Food: I am so tired and

weary from fighting with you. As a matter of fact,

I've never fought with anything more than I've

fought with you. And, frankly? I'm exhausted! It

saddens me to say good-bye. But I'm afraid I must.

So, good-bye greasy, fried and

oily foods. It's been "great" knowing you. But

right now, I don't want grease clogging up my

arteries. So hit the road fat...and don't you come

back no more, no more!

Adios to all of you salty

foods. I don't want you living in my system anymore

either. I have to tell you that for all of these

years, you've tasted so-o-o good. I mean, what's

better than a salty bag of potato chips or a

big-old box of salty popcorn from the movie theater

dowsed with that stuff they call "butter?" Oh yes,

it's time I kicked you out of my life and, believe

me, these boots of mine are made for kicking!

And sugar. Oh, sweet sugar.

You know I've always loved you. You know how I once

loved starting my day with a bowl-full of some

sugary kid's cereal and ending it with a big chunk

of homemade fudge. Oh sugar, you gave me a reason

to live. Yep, candy is dandy but...you caused me to

gain so much weight. And now? Well, you've simply

got to go!

Oh I know, I know...I've hurt

all of your feelings. We've all been together for

such a long time. But hey, now it's time to start

concentrating on me! Breaking up is hard to do but

I finally realize that I no longer need you. I'm

ready to live a new life and healthier lifestyle.

And I can't do it with you in my life. You see, I

want to lose this weight and I want to keep it off.

So off with your head!

Oh food, I want to look good

nude! Don't you understand? And the bottom line is

that it'll never happen as long as I keep letting

you rule my life. Please understand, no hard

feelings but...good-bye.

Love, (Your Name)

Love,