's motd Wed 10/27/2010

[Guest guest]

FACING THE

PAST

Wednesday, 27 October 2010

One of my Clubhouse members was

very worried about a friend of hers. Her friend had

suffered a light stroke and was admitted to the

hospital. On top of that, she also developed

pneumonia. After she got better and was released from

the hospital, the friend who wrote asked if I would

call her friend to lift her spirits and offer some

words of encouragement. It was more than my honor to

call.

Her friend's name was

and when I called, I discovered that she had just

about the prettiest voice I'd ever heard over the

phone. For the next 20 minutes, the two of us had a

very honest talk and I found out that she had about

200 pounds to lose.

I also found out that several years ago,

had undergone gastric-bypass surgery to help with her

weight-loss. But she didn't really follow the

post-operation instructions and eating plan she was

given. And because she didn't, lost very

little weight, despite the trauma she'd put her body

through.

Within the first few minutes of our conversation,

shared a lot of her life's story with me.

She'd given birth to her first child, a daughter, when

she was only 16 years-old. She even married the

baby's father at a very young age and within three

years, she had two more kids. Later, found

out that, in spite of the trust she had placed in her

husband, he'd been running around and cheating on

her. She was so upset that within a few months of

getting that distressing news, she filed for and later

received a divorce.

Today, all three of her children are adults and out on

their own. But the bad news is that each of

's children are very ashamed of what she

weighs and have almost alienated themselves from their

mother. (How sad!) They see her only a couple of

times a year, like at Christmas.

continued to tell me about all of the things

that had happened in her past. And let's just say

that much of her life had been filled with lots of

sadness. Now, do you know why seems to have

such a hard time and keeps slowly digging a grave for

herself with a knife and fork? Well, it's because she

can't forget about the things that happened to her in

the past. She can't forget what her husband

did to her when she was young. She can't believe that

her children are so ashamed of her. And she was very

sad that she couldn't find work, mostly because of her

weight. She just hated living on government

assistance.

I told how sorry I was about the tough times

she'd faced in her life. (I truly wish I could have

been there in person to give her a big hug.) I told

her that she would never lose the weight as long as

she remained so focused on the past, rather then on

her future. I reminded her that the

past was just that, past...as in over! I

told her to forgive her husband, and her children.

Right now, the most important thing for her was to

focus on herself. After sharing all of this

advice with her, had a question for me:

", I'm in so much pain these days. How in

the world am I going to be able to exercise?"

I told her that right now, she should do her exercise

from a sitting position, moving her body as best she

could, to start. But she had to challenge herself to

do a bit more each day as she lost weight and got

stronger. I emphasized that she had to really focus

on her meal plans as she got started, too. She had to

take charge of the food. (Remember, we

talked about that yesterday.) I helped make

a shopping list for her next trip to the supermarket.

She promised to get back to me by the end of the week

and let me know how her first few days are going. I'm

looking forward to getting her report.

In the meantime, I'm sorry if you,

personally, have been on a rocky road in the past.

Please do what I do. And that is forgive those who've

hurt you in the past and get to work moving forward to

creating a healthier, happier life for yourself.

Look, you'll never completely forget the bad things

that've happened in your life. That's only human.

But now, you very simply have to concentrate on the

good things that are about to happen in your life. The

good things you're going to make happen.

Now, forget the past and remember

to...Put yourself first!

Love,