's motd Sunday Feb 13, 2011

[Guest guest]

I STILL FEEL FAT

Sunday, 13 February

2011

When Sharon first came to

Slimmons, about ten months ago, I instantly loved

her. But...Sharon didn't love herself

very much. She weighed 225 pounds and was quite

disgusted with the way she looked. What made things

even more frustrating for her was that she'd been at

a healthy weight all of her life. That is, until

she started college.

Sharon was a real go-getter

during her college years. But that drive often put

her under a lot of stress with her studies. And

whenever the stress came along, the food was not far

behind. See, Sharon told me that food had always

"helped her handle the stress" better. But, in the

meantime, she was steadily gaining weight. By the

time she'd graduated and began her career, Sharon's

weight had gone up to 225 pounds. And like I said,

she was not very happy with herself.

Sharon wanted to lose the weight so badly and get

back to what she weighed in her younger days. When

a friend told her about our fun workouts at

Slimmons, she was interested and decided to join us,

wanting to see what Slimmons was all about.

The first time

I saw her workout, I could see that Sharon was quite

the dancer. I mean, in spite of her weight, she

could really move! After we finished our class,

Sharon came up to tell me that our class was the

most fun she'd ever had exercising. (Oh, I love

hearing that from my students!)

But I made it clear to her that working out was only

half-the-fight to weight-loss success. I

reminded Sharon that she had to get in charge of her

eating habits, too. I also reminded her that eating

is not a "stress-relieving" tool. The two of us sat

down after class and talked about the six food

groups and the importance of portion sizes. We also

made a list of the "demon" foods that she should now

avoid. And of course, we talked about which foods

she should be eating to achieve her

weight-loss goal.

When we got to that part of the conversation, Sharon

admitted that she wasn't a big fan of fruits and

vegetables. But she promised to give them a try.

In fact, whenever I saw her after class, she'd

often share with me one of her new food adventures.

", you won't believe this but I baked a

chicken and steamed some asparagus for my dinner

last night. And you know what? It was good!"

Well, even better, Sharon was beginning to lose

weight and...it showed! Her first goal was

simply to get out of the 200 pounds+ range. I could

see that her attitude was changing as she lost more

weight. Sharon kept fighting and in ten months,

she'd gone from 225 down to 160 pounds and...she looked

fabulous! But here's the thing. I was

thinking Sharon would be much happier losing so much

weight but...she wasn't. I couldn't figure

out why until I had a little talk with her. You may

be a little surprised at what she told me.

", even though I've

lost 65 pounds, I still feel fat! When I look at

myself in the mirror, I see this fat person

looking back at me. And when I walk down the

street, it's like I can still feel the icy stares

of people looking at the 'fat girl.' I don't get

it!"

Well, it was time for me to have a serious talk with

Sharon. You see, I went through the very same

feelings she was having when I lost all of my

weight. After I lost weight, I'd park myself in

front of the mirror and didn't like what I saw, just

like Sharon. But I had to explain something to

her. There are two ways of feeling about

what you weigh. There's the physical way,

seeing yourself in the mirror and there's the mental

way, the way you "see yourself" in your mind.

Of course Sharon could see how well she'd

done losing the weight. The numbers on the scale

were her first "clue." I mean, not only had she

dropped the weight but she'd had to buy herself a

completely new wardrobe. (There was the second

"clue.")

But here's the thing. It's the mental

realization that we've lost so much weight

that often takes a while to catch up to the physical

changes we've made with our bodies. And yes,

sometimes that process takes a while.

I assured

Sharon that she was not fat anymore. As a

matter of fact, she looked fantastic! And come on,

after losing 65 pounds, she really did

look like a new person! I assured her that when she

walked down the street or in the mall, people

weren't staring at that..."fat girl." Those

thoughts were really only in her head, after living

in an obese body for so long. I told her to march

right back to that mirror, take a good look at

herself and compliment herself on how good she

looked, from head to toe!

So tell me, have you lost a lot of weight like

Sharon? And can you relate to what she's been

through? I'm sure many of you can. But now's the

time to heap some much-deserved praise on yourself

and give yourself a big pat on the back for the

incredible job you've done. Trust me, your mind

will catch up to the fact that you've lost the

weight and you'll realize that...you look good!

If you've been through what Sharon has gone through,

I hope you'll walk up to that mirror today and say

hello to your new body...from me!

Love,

[Guest guest]

I still struggle with this whole body acceptance thing, and not in the traditional sense. I see the loss, I don’t see it and it seems to fluctuate almost as often as I look in a mirror. The truck stop restrooms often have a full length mirror and I can’t quite get a sense of my body size. Internally, I feel so much better and lighter that I often don’t really care what the outside looks like, but then other times I see the image and I feel ashamed that I had the nerve to feel thinner, when I obviously look obese (and I am!). I try and rationalize that the midpoint in weight loss is a mindbender no matter how one looks at it, because you are neither HERE nor THERE and you could actually end up sliding one way of the other. Like trying to get over the mid week hump and feeling stuck.

Last night I marveled that while laying on my back and reading, my arms rested on and felt the hardness of my ribs! I thought wow, it’s been so many years since I felt a ribcage! I do remember (acutely) how when I laid on my back at 317 pound, I still looked 9 months pregnant and the abdomen was hard and so padded I would never know I had bones underneath. This all affects how I see myself, where I sometimes see it, I often don’t. Does it matter? Well that part I cannot figure out either! I ask myself what I think this is all going to mean in the end? We so often dream of being thin (again or for the first time) and don’t entertain the idea that we may never really feel thin even when there because our mindset has been so “heavily†influenced by how we see ourselves, especially when it involves many years of seeing, being and feeling obese.

I related to RS’s reminder that we look for clues of loss, the scale, the way clothes fit, but while that can all be thrilling and all, it usually feels like a trick being played on me. I felt so thin and light in a pretty periwinkle blue V necked T-shirt that I had forgotten I had and threw in my suitcase to wear out trucking. I loved how it felt to wear it, it was so thin in the fabric and a really pretty colour. Then, when I took if off, I saw the label. It said size 4X! Wow, I have been wearing 2X and now I am wearing a shirt that is the same size I wore at 300 pounds? It’s stupid moments like this that make me feel I am fooling myself.

It’s sooooooo hard to grasp weight loss when there is still soooooooo far to go!

From: Sue in NJ

Sent: Sunday, February 13, 2011 5:49 AM

~100-plus ; ~RSDeal ; ~TheFoodmovers

Subject: 's motd Sunday Feb 13, 2011

I STILL FEEL FAT

Sunday, 13 February 2011

Sharon kept fighting and in ten months, she'd gone from 225 down to 160 pounds and...she looked fabulous! But here's the thing. I was thinking Sharon would be much happier losing so much weight but...she wasn't. I couldn't figure out why until I had a little talk with her. You may be a little surprised at what she told me.", even though I've lost 65 pounds, I still feel fat! When I look at myself in the mirror, I see this fat person looking back at me. And when I walk down the street, it's like I can still feel the icy stares of people looking at the 'fat girl.' I don't get it!"Well, it was time for me to have a serious talk with Sharon. You see, I went through the very same feelings she was having when I lost all of my weight. After I lost weight, I'd park myself in front of the mirror and didn't like what I saw, just like Sharon. But I had to explain something to her. There are two ways of feeling about what you weigh. There's the physical way, seeing yourself in the mirror and there's the mental way, the way you "see yourself" in your mind.Of course Sharon could see how well she'd done losing the weight. The numbers on the scale were her first "clue." I mean, not only had she dropped the weight but she'd had to buy herself a completely new wardrobe. (There was the second "clue.")But here's the thing. It's the mental realization that we've lost so much weight that often takes a while to catch up to the physical changes we've made with our bodies. And yes, sometimes that process takes a while.I assured Sharon that she was not fat anymore. As a matter of fact, she looked fantastic! And come on, after losing 65 pounds, she really did look like a new person! I assured her that when she walked down the street or in the mall, people weren't staring at that..."fat girl." Those thoughts were really only in her head, after living in an obese body for so long. I told her to march right back to that mirror, take a good look at herself and compliment herself on how good she looked, from head to toe!So tell me, have you lost a lot of weight like Sharon? And can you relate to what she's been through? I'm sure many of you can. But now's the time to heap some much-deserved praise on yourself and give yourself a big pat on the back for the incredible job you've done. Trust me, your mind will catch up to the fact that you've lost the weight and you'll realize that...you look good!If you've been through what Sharon has gone through, I hope you'll walk up to that mirror today and say hello to your new body...from me!Love,

[Guest guest]

I saw the label. It said size 4X! Wow, I have been wearing 2X and now I am wearing a shirt that is the same size I wore at 300 pounds? It’s stupid moments like this that make me feel I am fooling myself.

It’s sooooooo hard to grasp weight loss when there is still soooooooo far to go!

On the other side of the same coin, It would really REALLY help if the women's clothing manufacturer's would get uniform in their sizing/labeling, though!

I bought two dresses this past week:

1 - a 3XL (you would have thought I would be swimming in it and I would be returning it for a smaller size) - I look and feel like a sausage in it, so it will be going back. Mentally, I will not buy a 4 or 5X just to have a product LOL so they lost my cash on this one

1 - an 18W - I almost thought this would be *at least* one size to small and I would be losing 5-10-15 lbs before I could fit into it and that was fine with me, I like having goal clothing, that I need to shrink a little before I can wear during this process - this one fits me perfectly! Since dress #1 was a bust, I will be keeping this one.

I hate trying on clothes in the store/dressing room though because you are cramped (sometimes rushed) and I hate the lighting, etc.

Sheesh. Thankfully the store is close LOL, otherwise I would not be happy making the journey back to return the item.

[Guest guest]

Since my weight loss, I have not tried on any clothes. I am too scared to. Since I have to wear extremely comfortable clothes, I have hit the thrift shops a couple of times, as then it’s easier to toss when it gets too big. So far, my smaller clothes have been a few pieces I kept. Yes, I know how ridiculous the sizing is, but while I know it, I really hate that I truly have no idea what general size I wear. Someday, I will get up the nerve to try on something.

From: ABrite@...

Sent: Sunday, February 13, 2011 11:23 AM

100-plus

Subject: Re: 's motd Sunday Feb 13, 2011

I saw the label. It said size 4X! Wow, I have been wearing 2X and now I am wearing a shirt that is the same size I wore at 300 pounds? It’s stupid moments like this that make me feel I am fooling myself.

It’s sooooooo hard to grasp weight loss when there is still soooooooo far to go!

On the other side of the same coin, It would really REALLY help if the women's clothing manufacturer's would get uniform in their sizing/labeling, though!I bought two dresses this past week:1 - a 3XL (you would have thought I would be swimming in it and I would be returning it for a smaller size) - I look and feel like a sausage in it, so it will be going back. Mentally, I will not buy a 4 or 5X just to have a product LOL so they lost my cash on this one1 - an 18W - I almost thought this would be *at least* one size to small and I would be losing 5-10-15 lbs before I could fit into it and that was fine with me, I like having goal clothing, that I need to shrink a little before I can wear during this process - this one fits me perfectly! Since dress #1 was a bust, I will be keeping this one.I hate trying on clothes in the store/dressing room though because you are cramped (sometimes rushed) and I hate the lighting, etc.Sheesh. Thankfully the store is close LOL, otherwise I would not be happy making the journey back to return the item.

[Guest guest]

On 2/13/2011 12:23 PM, ABrite@... wrote:

I saw the label.  It said size 4X!  Wow, I have been

wearing 2X and now I am wearing a shirt that is the same

size I wore at 300 pounds?  It’s stupid moments like

this that make me feel I am fooling myself.

 

It’s sooooooo hard to grasp weight loss when there is

still soooooooo far to go!

>On the other side of the same coin, It would really

REALLY help if the women's clothing manufacturer's would

get uniform in their sizing/labeling, though!

And they would differentiate between Women's and Junior's sizes.

>1 - a 3XL (you would have thought I would be swimming

in it and I would be returning it for a smaller size) - I

look and feel like a sausage in it, so it will be going

back.  Mentally, I will not buy a 4 or 5X just to have a

product LOL so they lost my cash on this one

If this was bought from a "youthful" store, like Hot Topics or other

store the younger crowd shops in, it was most likely a Junior size.

I found out the hard way that Torrid/Hot Topic may *say* they sell

Plus size and go up to 3X but their 3X is in actuality a Misses

12/14, otherwise known as a Junior's 3X, and not a Women's 26/28 or

even an 18. I bought size 3x t-shirts there when the chain first

appeared in malls here in NJ and even Henry, then a size Men's

Medium to Large, couldn't fit into them.

>Sheesh.  Thankfully the store is close LOL, otherwise

I would not be happy making the journey back to return the

item.

This is why I stopped ordering from Lane ages ago. Same item,

2 different colors, same size, fit entirely different and one or

both would have to be returned. Happened with *everything* I bought

there. With our post office a building in the heart of the shopping

district and NO parking lot of its own, just a city lot a few blocks

away, returning an item wasn't a simple matter, it was at least an

hour's chore, especially if they only had one person at the desk. I

would rather just buy men's t-shirts and generic elastic-waisted

pants locally that, while not stylish, at least fit. And still, I

could try multiples of the same item, even in the same color, and

each would fit different.

I hate clothes shopping and wish I knew of a decent seamstress in

this city. My mom was always kept busy by her customers, all but one

or 2 of them plus-sized women like I am. She always explained that

measurements had to be taken every single time each lady needed

something new made because large women's bodies shift around so

much, changing dimensions even if weight doesn't shift. Many of her

steady customers started out coming to her with store-bought

clothing that didn't fit right, and they always ended up coming back

to her and having her make their clothing from scratch, custom

fitting along the way, so whatever they were getting made would fit

perfectly. I haven't had clothing that fit *me* perfectly since she

died, because I'm nowhere as good a seamstress as she was.

Sue in NJ