[The Little Bowl] The First Full Day in Hawaii

[Guest guest]

I was pretty messed up on the time difference and had to take a nap at midpoint of Hawaiian time, so did my youngest grandson and my daughter….pregnant, young and old all needed their naps. lol. For some odd reason I wasn’t hungry much of the day. I had tea and a slice of toast with butter and havarti for breakfast I even got a cute cup to drink my tea in. For lunch, I had two romaine leaves with 3 thin slices of roast beef and a dollop of sour cream. For dinner, my daughter made a fabulous teriyaki chicken, served Japanese rice and garlic green beans that were out of this world. My total calories for the day came to under 900. I wish sometimes I could reconcile the great differences between how I feel when eating this way and what my mind thinks. When I eat a small amount of food, my body and mind become more alert and feel so “rightâ€. It is hard to explain. “Nirvana†is the only way I know how to describe it. I love it. I don’t feel hungry, I don’t feel saturated, I feel so alive. You would think that this would be enough to stick with it and be done with overeating. But it is a complicated issue. My mind, my “reactive†self still reacts to old cues and triggers. I was pulled a few times to the “idea†of eating chips and candy, not because I wanted them, needed them and hunger wasn’t a part of the equation. I don’t know why it seems to be so deeply imbedded in my head that it becomes a power struggle at times. I felt it yesterday for awhile, then decided that what I needed was a walk outside, so my littlest grandson and I went for a walk and the swirling thoughts soon left my head. I wish I knew how to banish the thoughts completely and forever. I do think they have lessened over the last year, but it bothers me when they surface. I feel like I am wasting precious time over something I do not want to experience at all. A few little techniques I am using have helped. I try distraction (going for a walk or taking a shower) and I try controlling my wayward thoughts with organization. I literally organize my thoughts into their proper compartments. Much like a mantra, I repeat to myself how I envision the me that doesn’t get involved in food fantasies or wallow in overeating. I envision myself rising above the impulses and staying true to what I truly know is best for me, not as a matter of white knuckle discipline, but as the way I am and how I feel. Still, it is complicated and the times I manage it, I feel great, the times that I struggle, I feel nearly defeated by impulses that overwhelm me. I would love to wish it all away, but just like anything else, I need to work it to make it work for me. One day at a time. --

Posted By elisaannh to The Little Bowl at 7/31/2010 09:58:00 AM

[Guest guest]

>For lunch, I had two romaine leaves with 3 thin slices of roast beef

and a dollop of sour cream. For dinner, my daughter made a fabulous

teriyaki chicken, served Japanese rice and garlic green beans that were

out of this world. My total calories for the day came to under 900.

So far it seems as if your daughter's food will accomodate your dietary

plans quite nicely.

>You would think that this would be enough to stick with it and be done

with overeating. But it is a complicated issue.

If there was an easy answer there would be no eating disorder clinics or

overweight people!

> and hunger wasn’t a part of the equation.

There's an old OA saying - If hunger isn't the question then food isn't

the answer.

>I wish I knew how to banish the thoughts completely and forever. I do

think they have lessened over the last year, but it bothers me when

they surface. I feel like I am wasting precious time over something I

do not want to experience at all.

I'm almost 57 and still haven't found a way to permanently shut those

voices up.

Sue in NJ