's motd Thursday June 10, 2010

[Guest guest]

THE CAREGIVERS

Thursday, 10 June 2010

After I finish dinner each evening, I usually go back to my office and read through more of my E-mails before spending some quality time with Hattie and going off to bed.

And through the years, I've seen people who're true caregivers to the ones they love. Now I don't think you can "learn" to be a caregiver. I believe it's either in you or it's not.

As I was reading my E-mails after dinner the other night, I came across one from a gentlemen who'd recently quit his job so he could devote time to caring for his parents. They were both quite overweight and had a number of medical issues.When he was working, this man went to the gym faithfully and always made an effort to eat healthy. But once he moved in with his parents, all of his time was spent caring for them. That left very little time to take good care of himself. And I'm sure you know what happens when you stop going to the gym and eating healthy. That's right, the pounds begin to creep onto your body. Oh, God bless this man. I mean, look at how good he is to his parents. But I didn't like reading about how he wasn't giving some of that good care to himself, as much he used to.

Some of you write and tell me you're taking care of a parent who has dementia or Alzheimer's disease. You tell me that sometimes your parents don't even recognize you. (And I know how painful that experience must be for you.) This message gives me the opportunity to take a bow for and tell you how truly wonderful and special I think each of you caregivers are. You're spending that precious time taking care of someone who always took such good care you. And I know that each of you will be rewarded in Heaven. But I need those of you who're caring for others to remember that you also have to make the time to take good care of yourselves. There must be someone who could come in for a little while, relieve you and give you some time to take care of yourself both physically and mentally.

Taking care of loved ones who're ill can be very taxing and cause you a lot of stress. That's why it's important for you to have the opportunity to find an outlet for yourself. You need the chance to relieve some of that stress. It could be something as simple as taking a nice walk or listening to some peaceful music. When you're able to take that time out for yourself, you'll feel a calmness that'll make you stronger as you care for your loved ones.When I write these caregivers back, that's exactly the advice I give. And many of them write back to tell me that my advice really helped. When my father became very ill in the early 80s, I went back-and-forth to New Orleans from Los Angeles to help care for him. The same was true when my mother became ill years later. For many of those years, my brother Lenny took care of our parents like no one else could. And this message is dedicated to my brother for all of the love and care he provided our parents.God bless you, Lenny and God bless all of you caregivers reading today's message. I send much love and respect to all of you.Love,