My Binges..

[Guest guest]

I binged on 1/2 carton on ice cream, graham crackers, bread w butter, and some left over nuts. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself, maybe God wants me heavy and I love food, even last night was overeating on ice cream, way to much chicken drumsticks. Everytime I do good and have a loss, something in my mindset to binge like crazy. I don't know. I have no offline friends to be social or talk to, just have my family,which they are slim and eats junk and don't gain an ounch. My family supports on my weight efforts. My overeating habits is not healed... Back in the 80s, was drinking 3 slim fast shakes and exercise everyday,,was successful, but gotten sick mentally.

Now am struggling on making it work with real and healthy foods, but my binge disorder is not healed and don't know how to stop it. I gotten help with my mental health, which am taking meds, seeing Phd doctor on a monthly basis for check up and meds...but don't have any clinic on controlling my binge urges.

I will be 44 in January and still fighting the fat war.. Does the age makes a difference on weight struggles???. Maybe I am meant to stay heavy at 400 Lbs or more. I am so unhappy and don't know why I keep binging like crazy.I read self help books from Geenen Roth, Dr.oz, Dr.Phil.. I even threw some books out.

Well, this is not a diet,but a lifestyle transformation. Each day is a new beginning and do have Project me audio tapes I should listen. I am so sick and tired of struggling and want peace with food.

Thanks for letting me vent..

Liliann