[The Little Bowl] Hard, But Doing it

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Silly me to be so angsty about lowering my calories. I had been use to the 1200, now I need to get use to the 900/1000. It feels just like it did in the beginning of the diet, when I was starting with 1400. The body is certainly noticing the drop. Hungry again is all I can say. But in a way, I like knowing my body is working the way it should. Hunger is a natural cue and should be felt regularly, Since I am not in true starvation (not knowing where my next meal is coming from) it humbles me in many ways. I think about how spoiled so many of us are, eating like there’s no tomorrow and being indulgent at the drop of a hat. We simply eat too much too often. I realize that in myself and in my life, even when at my poorest, I always had enough to eat. It was ME who chose to eat more than I needed. I realize now too, that I need to pay attention to when my normal diet meals are making me feel full before I finish. This is a vital clue that I eating more than I need for that meal. I have not felt this way about breakfast or lunch, but dinner, it has been happening for awhile. I made this fish lunch the other day. The 7 oz can of salmon only ends up being 4 oz of fish to eat, the rest is water. I looked at how little it was and had that thought: “Geez, 4 bites and I’ll be done!â€. I have to stop doing that. The only true way to know if it is enough is to eat and see how I feel and not rely on a visual cue. I am so dismayed with the American habit of canning fish in water. It makes it so dry and tasteless. I’ve given up on tuna (unless I can find oil packed) because of it. I may soon give up on this salmon too. Today at the store, I bought sardines. They are a smaller portion size than the salmon, but at least they will be richer tasting. I also bought salami and cream cheese, it is so easy and quick to eat on the truck. Opening up the salmon means trying to drain it into a jar while bouncing all over the place. More than once I’ve smelled like fish all day! Lunch today. I even weighed the tomatoes and bell pepper, .7 oz each. I love the food scale, I can’t weigh while we are moving, but at a stand-still it works beautifully. 1 oz of salami is 5 thin slices, 1 oz of cream cheese divided into 5 pats. I had 5 little salami tacos. LOL My lunch came to 288 calories. I bought more sauerkraut and I will alternate between kraut, green beans and carrots for my dinner. So far, I should be able to stick pretty close to about 950 a day with carbs around 20 net. I do leave a bit of room for give or take so I can have some sort of variety. Husband did very well at the store, he did buy one bar of chocolate, but resisted buying the amount of treats he use to. Then, not 10 minutes later, we delivered at the Hershey’s plant and they always give the truckers a chocolate bar when they check in. Lucky him, TWO bars of it! Later, when we were at the truck stop for the night, he decided to go in and get some pork rinds. He came back empty handed, saying he changed his mind. I told him he has to go with how he feels about it, that there is no reason he cannot have a bite or two of a treat now and then, we can add or re-do his calories for the day, but he still has the idea it is all or nothing at all when it comes to snacks. He ate his two candy bars and was able to stop with buying more. We have 3 weeks more on the road, I think he wants to have a good loss when he goes back to the doctor for a check up. I am so pleased he is managing this so well. It really helps me to be in a partnership with this. Oh….and of all the strange things that we talk about, we both ended up deciding we may get tattoo’s! At our age! lol. I may shock my daughter yet! I think that I will make it my treat for losing weight before Hawaii. If I can lose 10 pounds before I leave, I can have a tatt when I get there. Something Hawaiian would be fun. Something on the ankle perhaps. This was half of my dinner (two bowlfuls). It was really good. I tried a different brand of kraut and really liked it. Substituting kraut for rice or yams is really cutting my carbs down and it is still fulfilling. It is very strong tasting though, and I don’t think I want it every single day, but it’s good for now. And, I really like eating half my dinner at a time. Maybe someday I will feel content with one bowl and save the second that I keep in the cooking pot for another meal. Yesterday was indeed hard to get through. We sat most of the day at a truck stop waiting for a dispatch (still don’t have on as of 9 am this morning) and of course boredom does kick in and all the trips to the restroom mean walking past aisles and aisles of snack foods and the aroma’s of the fast food court assaulting me head on. My fat head thinking sometimes starts yammering about “just this once†but I am getting so good at halting the thoughts before they take root. They sound more like hollow echoes now. Still, I am no fool, I know it takes a blink of an eye to go right back to 307 pounds and beyond. Yesterday’s Meals: B- 6 oz coffee, 2 tsp creamer, 2 cheese sticks, 1 corn tortilla, 2T flaxseed meal, 1/2 T peanut butter L- 1 oz salami, 1 oz cream cheese, .7 oz tomatoes, .7oz green pepper, 1 hard boiled egg, herbal tea D- 2 chicken sausages, 1/2 can sauerkraut 954 calories, 61gr fat, 33gr carbs, 11gr fiber (net 22 carbs), 68gr protein --

Posted By elisaannh to The Little Bowl at 6/10/2010 01:00:00 PM