[The Little Bowl] The BINGE.

[Guest guest]

It must have been raging hormones yesterday. I feel so different this morning! Something unnerved me all day and I was fighting back the tears, feeling angry and resentful all damn day. I tried my best to think it through, to stay on plan, but I snapped about 9 pm, deciding to have a drink and a movie to ease everything away. That helped, but also helped me refill my glass with another 3 oz of rum. Then I decided to have some of husband’s pork cracklin’s. I weighed 2 oz. Then, in a complete fit of something or other, I found his English Digestive Biscuits and slathered 7 of them with butter and ate them. This behaviour is binge behavior. The Binge Monster came out and I saw it for what it was and stopped. This is not where I want to be. This morning I feel better and after reviewing the damage, I feel strong and clear and ready to quit playing on the edge of my diet and get it back to 1000 calories or less and work it as I had planned for July. The Awful Reports, but I need to keep honest with myself: Click to enlarge any report. Just one self indulgent moment can create a huge calorie bomb. 1400 calories in one sitting? My total for the day jumped to nearly 3000 calories! And those carbs.,…OUCH. It makes me wonder when I didn’t count calories how high they were most of the time? This is what I ate, all fine until the “other†meal happened. Damn it. It makes me wonder what I would have consumed if I had went with the hell bent binge that was enticing me for weeks? What if I had bought the cupcakes, the ice cream, the chips and dip that were calling my name yesterday at the grocery store? I shudder the think of the calories it would have added up to, if just this one episode of splurging ended up at 1400 calories! And this morning, I had to laugh, who in their right mind weighs and counts the calories of their binge? Well, at least I know exactly what the cost of my splurge cost me and I can’t pretend it didn’t happen! The typical 7 pound gain on home time! 246 pounds (up form 239). This is a temporary gain, my official weigh in is Tuesday, so I am not entering this in my chart just yet! Well, it is done and I am in a better frame of mind this morning and ready to work hard on my plan. When husband called this morning he admitted that it takes a lot more time to cook and prepare meals AND drive too and said he missed me being able to “take care of all this†for him. So while “I†am not missed yet, my services are. Sigh. Such a romantic guy. I have plenty of work to do today, and I will be swimming this evening (instead of eating). I want to finish all the apartment organizing and cleaning this weekend so that next week I can sew and carve a doll and just completely relax. Today’s breakfast to start it all off right, 1 egg (52g) instead of two and a sausage patty (66g). Coffee (10 oz) with cream (2T) and that is 396 calories and 3 carbs: I love the little red bowl I found at the thrift shop yesterday! The pot in the back is heating the water for my french press. I haven’t found my old tea kettle yet. My scale has been such a wonderful tool for me. I have a dry erase board on the fridge so that I can mark the weights to add to my diet software later. I am trying to stay in gram weight mode as much as possible. --

Posted By elisaannh to The Little Bowl at 7/10/2010 07:07:00 AM