's issues was Re: Hometime Weight

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I found in the past that more often than not when I cooked I ended up cooking more than the two portions that my husband and I needed, and even if I was only eating my portion, he would eat everything else that was left.

This is where I am at with things - I am sorry to jump into the middle of another post, but it seemingly fits a little bit with the question asked back to Ann:

My mother has been doing the majority of the cooking for the past 5.5 months just due to the schedules involved with DS17 and myself and she's home all day so she does it. When I'll be home rather quickly after work, no added activities, etc I have cooked here and there. For the past two months, it has been bliss (or at least really nice LOL) because she has actually been mindful of what I want/need for this "diet" need of mine. She's a good (probably) 100 lbs overweight also and could stand to lose weight also, but she shows no effort, concern or desire. She'll literally cook 2 meals or at least 1 main meal with 2 versions of stuff so it will be easier on me, but she doesn't have to, because DS could really care less about eating the higher fat/carb/calorie stuff she thinks he wants.

When we moved in, I told her not to bring anything into the house that she cannot or will not consume herself because I am not opposed to throwing it out. Not like in the past where I felt it all had to be eaten out of some guilt-thing. If she makes too much of something, I'll store it in the frige for a few days and if there is no attempt on her part to eat it for lunch or anything, I toss it.

I don't know what it is, maybe because she is relaxing or I am, but this past week, since Easter, has been a real challenge. She's now craving sugar, carbs or something, so she's made a cake and brownies both in the same week. I only had the equivalent of maybe 1-2 slices of the cake, which is good for me and maybe 2-4 brownies of that batch. In my defense - NOT that I need one, this is my life and I am an adult LOL - this has been my PMS week I think. OR my would-be TOM week. I cannot remember. I know one used to be mid-month and one used to be month end. So, the hormones, emotions, etc are raging this week/weekend.

There is a MAJOR work stressor going on right now, but that is a whole separate post.

Well. Nevermind - I may as well put it here:

We were called in to a meeting first thing Friday with my manager, leads and the director of our department (also known as my manager's manager).

Work has been slow. Thank you, economy. We have had several clients leave, deciding to pull "our work" back in house to save money. Management (higher up than my manager and leads) have been watching the numbers of my team, specifically, for the past 6 months and it's not pretty. They always chalk up a downward trend in business in November/December to it being the holidays and winter:

A) if businesses are going to open new stores, they generally want to do it before Oct/Nov and "Christmas Shopping" season begins ya know?

when the ground's frozen and/or too mucky, they just cannot or do not want to be doing construction anyway, so we generally see it pick back up again Feb-March

It.hasn't.happened.

We have 27 member spots for my team and they figured out they think we are overstaffed by 10 people. I immediately think lay-offs and have that kicked in the gut and wanna throw up feeling.

There are 2 open positions that will not be filled, 2 support people are automatically are being redistributed to another team and they are taking 3 volunteers for "specialists" to be moved to another team that have openings. They said "eliminating" these 7 positions on my team may help, even though they feel we are over-staffed by 10. I am an account rep, so right now, my position is safe as they do not want to move account reps. I do not feel safe.

We left the meeting to my commenting: "I need to figure out how to manage this so I do not gain back 50 lbs I have lost"

Friday, I would say I binged because we allowed the stress to rule lunch, but I don't know so much that it was truly a binge: cheeseburger, tator tots and a chocolate/peanut butter milkshake.

BUT I wanted to keep check on any damage I did, so I plugged my numbers in to The Daily Plate to be sure:

1499 calories, 86 fat, 174 carbs and 69 protein

The fat is the only thing that was high that day, considering the high end of my range is 79 g. Whew.

Yesterday and so far today, I have a grip on things. But, I feel that I could lose control at any minute. I really do. I will tread water as rapidly as I can through the next few weeks to get through the up-coming transitions and go from there.

Thankfully, yesterday's weigh-in had me at the same weight as a week ago. A maintain, yes, but actually, that just means I lost anything I had gained over Easter. Now I have to get the scale to keep going downward. Continue the trend of the past two months.

I will get through *this* without overeating - I have to - now that I am "solidly" in the 250s, I want to get out of them!

in WA

310 / 257.4 / 210