Re: 's old newsletter article - Truth or Consequences

[Guest guest]

I'm beginning to look forward to these messages! lol.

Yes, I have been true to my weight loss program so far this year, in fact, since the beginning. But I hold only a little bit of glory in that. A little bit, because I had lost this massive weight twice before in my adult life, and while I was able to keep it off for years, I eventually gained it all back and more. Who doesn't know this story? lol. The glory comes because I spent way too many years IN-BETWEEN struggling, fighting, begging, crying, giving up....everything except just DOING IT. I am now doing it.

Yes, I am counting every calorie that passes these lips. My decision to create a range, but allow ANY AMOUNT of calories creates a failure proof diet. Some days it's higher, most days, it's lower. it works for me. I accept the reality that I may have to do this the rest of my life. Like measuring out medication, calorie counting is my prescription for better health.

No, I am not following an exercise program faithfully. Not even remotely possible. However, after losing the 54 pounds, I am craving to move. I cannot wait to hit the pool....in two more weeks!

Working on keeping my attitude positive and strong.....well the truth of that one is that I am not sure. I really don't think of the diet as negotiable anymore, so I am not afraid that my attitude will change my plans and goals. My mid-life mood swings coupled with living an uncomfortable life with so many limitations have me really struggling to keep a positive outlook every day. I am working on it though, I listen to meditation tapes, I do deep breathing and I smack my husband when he's not looking. Works for me. lol.

I feel a huge amount of regret for losing most of my adulthood to obesity. When I think of all the times I could have been doing the things I wanted to do, when I think of all the times that I could have had a relationship, could have and done this and that.....instead, I became a recluse and ate myself into oblivion. The sharp reality of the loss of my adulthood to obesity is far more tangible to me as I am in the second half of life and mortality is now a part of my concept of my own life. I do want to accomplish some things yet! I want to feel free of the burden and awfulness that obesity has brought me. And to think how I valued eating food over living life.....makes me shake my head in utter sadness. What the *ell was I thinking?

The reason it is a "little" glory and not a big shiny emblem is because I still have a very long way to go and the reality is that true success comes in the maintenance of the loss. And just when can one measure that? lol. Think about it. I made it 7 years once. You'd think that was a success never to be broken. It was broken, I lost the desire to work it. Keeping the weight off took just as much work as losing it. It is a DAILY job. One day, I ate too much and then fell back into using and abusing food in order not to deal with emotional pain. Oh, I had an excuse, a horrible death to deal with, the murder of my man at the time. But I could have set the fork down and sought therapy. I did not. I regret that too.

This time around, I am deeply humble. I don’t put myself in the position of thinking I am going to make it and never look back. I am reading several 100+ pounds weight loss blogs and I see it coming...the ultra high, the dedicated get-to-goal at any cost mentality and the firm unshakable belief that they are cured of fat headed thinking. But they still have to manage their weight after the diet. I tried telling one poster that I saw it coming, but they rejected my post, so I keep my mouth shut on other people's blogs. I wish I could help them take the blinders off. but I suppose we all have to learn our own lessons.

Truth or Consequences!

Ann

From: Sue in NJ

Sent: Friday, March 26, 2010 2:18 PM

~~rsdeal ; ~~100-plus

Subject: 's old newsletter article - Truth or Consequences

Consequences for not knowing, or telling, the truth. Hmmmm . . . I think we're on to something here.

Question: How true have you been to your weight loss program so far this year? Are you watching those calories and portion sizes? Are you following your exercise program faithfully? Are you working to keep that attitude of yours strong and positive?

Love,