's motd Friday Feb 19, 2010

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HARD TIMES

Friday, 19 February 2010

Every week I receive lots of e-mails from people telling me that other people they know are giving them a hard time...about their weight.

A woman wrote who'd been married for 32 years. She told me that a day doesn't go by where her husband doesn't make a wisecrack about her weight. He calls her awful names and even sometimes does it in front of others. (Talk about rude!)I've also received a letter from a gentleman who's mother gives him a hard time about his weight. She's always comparing him to his brother who's slim, has a great-looking body and works out faithfully everyday. She says things to him like..."Why can't you be more like your brother? Why can't you just stop this overeating?!"Some of you have a bosses at work who give you a hard time about your weight. And yes, some of you even have children who tease you about what you weigh. Well, isn't all this just awful? I mean, people who're supposed to love you...are they supposed to hurt you, too?

I also hear these stories a lot when I'm on the road. When the people I talk to share these stories with me, tears are often welling in their eyes. They feel so pressured. They feel so judged by what they weigh.Now let's get to the bottom of this and face the fact that people who've known you the longest are often the ones hardest on you. And I mean not only about your weight but they're hard on you about other things, too. They've been there when you've announced that you were going on a diet. And they've been there when you've fallen off your latest weight-loss program. Yes, they've given you cheers...and jeers.So you should try and understand what they've gone through watching you abuse...you! And I mean, if you really think about it, isn't that what constantly overeating and becoming obese is...abuse? If some of the people close to you are too harsh with their comments about your weight, don't be afraid to set them straight...but in a nice way.

This would not be a time to go on the attack. This is the time to explain what you're going through. For instance, when someone badgers you about your weight, simply say something like this to them..."You know, I've tried to lose weight for years now and I really need support from you. The negative things you say to me about my weight make me feel so horrible that some days, I just want to totally give up trying."Then you'll see their eyes change. Because then they'll realize that you don't need words coming at them in the shape of swords. You need their words to be filled with love, understanding and compassion. I'll bet it works and you'll be able to silence some of those friends and family members who've been so critical.

Now I've never given you a hard time about your weight. I've only tried really hard to encourage you. And I'm sure, even in my efforts to help, that sometimes I've knitted a few threads of frustration in your head. But I've always told you how much I love you and that I'd always be here for you. I've always told you and will keep telling you that you can achieve anything you dream, as long as you put your mind to making that dream come true.I don't want you to have any more hard times...I only want you to have good times! So come on baby...let the good times roll!Love,