the week after Christmas

[Guest guest]

The Week After Christmas

'Twas the week after Christmas, and all

through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a

blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog

I'd taste

At the holiday parties had gone to my

waist.

When I got on the scales there arose

such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a

walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd

prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef

nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread

and the cheese

And the way I'd never said, " No

thank you, please. "

As I dressed myself in my husband's

old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle

with dirt---

I said to myself, as I only can

" You can't spend a winter

disguised as a man! "

So--away with the last of the sour

cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every

cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like

must be banished

" Till all the additional ounces

have vanished.

I won't have a cookie--not even a

lick.

I'll want only to chew on a long

celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn

bread, or pie,

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly

cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is

a bore---

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a

good diet!