Motivation

April 28, 2000

Hi Rhonda, happy birthday for tomorrow - and enjoy every mouthful of cake!

Personally I have used olive oil all the time (cold pressed) and I use olive

oil cooking spray too. Sorry I can't help with recipes but this group often

comes up with really great ones. Good luck, Leaner.

April 28, 2000

Happy Birthday Rhonda!!! This will be your best year yet!

~Laury

April 28, 2000

<< Birthday is always free day. >>

Amen to that Walt!!

~Laury

April 28, 2000

Happy Birthday Rhonda! The email problem wasn't you, it was screwed up for

everyone. Butter substitute: we use promise ultra - only 5 cal/tbsp I

think and pretty tasty. Also, be careful with buying ground turkey. It

usually has lots of dark meat in it which makes it taste yummy but adds lots

of calories and fat. Strawberries and Angel food cake sound

wonderful!!!!!

April 28, 2000

Birthday is always free day.

April 28, 2000

I put your photos side by side on the computer and all I can say is

AWESOME JOB to the both of you. Also nice to see the face behind the

screen.

Walt.

April 29, 2000

Hi Walt, Thanks for the kind words and the continuous supply of inspiration

and motivation in your messages. All the very best for the next round.

Leaner.

May 1, 2000

Thanks Kit! My birthday was very fun. I got some rollerblades... Hope I

don't break anything!

Many people recommended promise as a butter substitute. I'll have to try

it. We've done a pretty good job of going without, without too much

problem. Some things just taste soooooo good with butter!

Thanks again

Rhonda

May 17, 2000

This is so true and remember when you reach the peak theres always

another one to climb. This is great Jannette Thank You.

Walt.

May 19, 2000

That is a most excellent way of talking to yourself.

June 28, 2000

Eliza,

My daughter is 13 (OCD) and we live in the Green Bay area of Wisconsin.

Motivation is a problem with us too.....but it seems mostly to stem from

's lack of insight into anyone else's perspective but her own.

Her therapist is working a lot on this, but it is amazing how " stuck " she

gets in her thinking. We are having family sessions where we can all discuss

OCD's impact on the whole family, and how each person will be responding. For

example, will often burst into her younger sister's () room to

" tell her something " . will respond negatively (she wants her space

and privacy) with: " , leave me alone! " . will then begin to

lecture on how rude it was to speak to her in that tone. It is like

CANNOT see that her OWN action (bursting into someone's room) would

invoke a negative response. In therapy, she worked with the therapist on the

hierachy of when it is hardest for her to stay out of 's room. Then we

discussed how would need to remain out of her sister's room for

increasing amounts of time and set up a reward system for this. For the next

4 or 5 therapy sessions (we are going twice a week right now), was

obsessed about 's reponse continuing to be " rude " and unable/unwilling

to see that SHE herself had not been adhering to the " give space "

rule. Her coments focus on " I know I am having trouble staying out of

's room, but I am trying REALLY hard, and it is not okay for her

() EVER to be rude because I am trying!! " .

The therapist explained 's lack of perspective to another's view point

whenever the situation also involves her. So we backed off of the " stay out

of 's room " and re-did her hierachy on her stress level of " being

alone " (we could see that the " room bursting " problem seemed most likely to

occur when no one else was home, or we were " unavailable " ). The hierachy

goes something like this: 1--being alone in the house while others are home

and I choose to be alone; 4/5--being alone in the house while others are at

home and I am told to go be by myself; 6/7--being alone in my room at

bedtime; 8/9 being " left " at home alone (or with sister) when Mom goes to do

errands; and 10 being " left " at home alone when Mom leaves because I am

having a " fit " (rage like attack). Her target behavior right now is to go be

by herself in the house somewhere for ten minutes at a time (when we are

home) and she can get " stickers " for each time and accumulate these for

rewards. The therapist and her decide on the reward. It seems to be going

well.......the focus is more on herself and that helps.... She doesn't seem

developmentally ready in a cognitive sense to deal with interventions that

involve another person's feelings.. does that make sense?

I am sorry that was so long of an explanation on motivation for ---I

guess her motivation was low when she felt incapable of achieving it and it

set up more obsessive thinking from the " victim " standpoint.

The long drive for therapy would be really really difficult for us. Part of

's fears of " being alone " happen a lot in the car. Car rides (sometimes

even just across town) are very stressful for . I surmise because

getting into a car is a lot like being alone with your thoughts (unless you

can be talking the whole time). She can barely tolerate being alone with her

own thoughts and can make it pretty miserable for others as she chatters away

and tries to get us engaged in her conversations. Often when we arrive at

our destination she is stressed out, either from her own thoughts, or from

our negative reactions to her car behavior.

Where in Wisconsin are you located?? Finding therapy here (in Wisconsin) has

been very hard. We really like her therapist, but often each winter (our

more difficult time generally) her therapist has been ill a lot and we are

left with few appointments. In addition, although she uses C/B therapy, she

was not using the " March " protocol with hierachy etc. (even though she is the

one who introduced us to a lot of the OCD literature including March's " How I

Ran OCD Off My Land " ). I finally sat down with the therapist and told her I

needed to know if she really wanted, and was able to continue with , and

increase the structure of her therapy to keep in line with the March

protocol, because I believed needed 2/week appointments to make

progress. At the same time, I was starting my search for any others that can

do CBT and know about children with OCD. We discussed alternative

therapists.....not much luck near us (one gentleman has experience but our

appts. were cancelled because he is undergoing cancer treatments)... We went

to the Univ of Wisc, for an updated diagnosis and referrals to CBT

therapists. We got the diagnosis (OCD) but the only referral was to

Hospital in Oconomowoc and none of the UW people (including Hugh ston,

who writes the brochures OCF gives out) had any " personal " expereince they

could share about the program..... They had " no ideas " of people in my area.

And the OCF has only / Dr. Bradley Reimann listed in Wisconsin as

resources....

Our therapist, a child psychologist, knows and our family inside

out--we have had her for five years now. I especially love how supportive

she is of our parenting, etc. I just pray she (the therapist) stays healthy

(she has pernicious anemia and can't fight infections well, and in addition

this winter found she has major problems producing hemoglobin as well......).

And I am glad I got more " educated " on OCD therapies so I could " stick up "

for the type of therapy she needs.

Again I realize I have given you MY update here, and not responded well to

your issues of traveling to therapy. I just want to wish a fellow

Wisconsinite " good luck " in the whole area of accessible services for OCD

kids!! Are you going to the OCF Conference in Chicago?? I am planning that

and I go.....

Good luck, Eliza.

Take care,

Laurie in Wisconsin

June 28, 2000

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! You just described ! He CANNOT motivate himself. And

he flat out refuses to be alone in the house when others are home! His

little brother likes to be " alone " when we are home, not a lot but sometimes.

But cannot entertain himself. I send him outside a lot and my husband

says it's not fair. But I can't take his constant and I mean constant

talking. I can tell him that he has to be quiet and let me read some

instructions in a cook book and he will keep at it until I send him to bed

for being disrespectful! He knows he's going to get into trouble but he does

it anyway. This has just driven me nuts. We have not gotten him into therapy

because the pediatrician feels a therapist that doesn't do ERP will be worse

than no therapy and so far we haven't found one that does ERP on our

insurance. Two of the psychs that I called said they didn't know what it was

and 3 of the psychs that Raley called didn't know! There are only 7 psychs

on our insurance. Sigh. I have got to get the book Brain Lock. Well, Thank

you for explaining that so clearly. It makes so much sense when put like

that. Now maybe I can help to get him to realize his brothers perspective. I

realize it won't be easy but at least now I have a starting point.

Peggikaye ... Oklahoma

June 28, 2000