Goals

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

My daughter is in the 5th grade and has been homeschooled since

Kindergarten. The reasons why we began homeschooling her was not

because of her OCD (she was diagnosed last year). But if I were in

your shoes, I would have done the same thing you did.

Some people assume that since homeschooled children aren't in a

school, that they will lack social skills. Perhaps this is what the

Psychologist is thinking. Most homeschooled children have contact

with other children through extracurricular activities. Homeschooled

children also learn their " social skills " from the adults they come in

contact with.

If you found something that works for your son, thank your lucky stars

You know your child the best and you will do what is right for him.

Take care,

Dawn

> Hi everyone, its been a while since i posted last Jake has been

> amazing.Jake is now taking Fluoxetine and is so much improved in many

> areas.

> As any parent supporting a child with OCD the main aim is to help

> them achieve the best they can. It takes time to understand what this

> illness is all about and we over time find usefull ways of helping

> them manage.

> I have found that taking very small steps has worked with Jake. he is

> not so over anxious that he gives in before he even attemps anything.

> Jake has over thw last 4 months been working hard on bossing back the

> OCD and has been successful with a lot of his short term goals.

> Now here comes the???????? His long term goals are very differant to

> what his pychologist suggestes they should be and this is causing

> conflict.

> Jake has not been able to attend school for 2 years, after a lot of

> exhausting attemps i made a choice to educate him at home with the

> help of the Australian distance education school. Amazingly for the

> first time ever he is learning and enjoying it.

> Now i am well aware that this is mainly because he is in his comfort

> zone, therefore not stressed and so minimal OCD,but he is learning

> and at 14 i think its vital he continue with whats working

> educationally.

> Jakes pychologist is delighted with his progress but has asked him to

> start working on what was a long term goal, returning to mainstream

> school. Jake has flatly refused to entertain this and so the conflict.

> I understand that the social side of things attached to schools is

> important for childrens mental wellbeing,but i know my son and i hate

> being negative but i know he will crash if pushed on the subject

> right now.

> please please all opinions and experiences would be so helpfull right

> now.

> Thanks

[Guest guest]

I think as the parent you have weighed the options and personal

circumsatnces more carefully than a clinician could, and you've made

the choice for your child based on your intimate and ongoing

knowledge of him and what works best for him and all involved. For

some parents that means homeschooling. My homeschooled daughters are

both advanced academically, and it does not take a lot of formal

grueling work either-but this does not solve their problems with ocd

(one is in aspergers spectrum) and social difficulties, we have to

work on that whatever setting they are in-but at at least they can

feel good about their learning. My older daughter beagn to fail

everything, despite very high test scores, when trying private

schooling b/c her ocd made the logistics unmanageable.

Homeschooling can be hard b/c people will always begin to suspect

that it is the homeschooling compromising the child with ocd or other

neurological/social problems, since homeschool is not the

conventional approach- it becomes easier to focus on it as part of

the problem b/c it sort of sticks out like a sore thumb.

There are of course problems for ocd kids in public schools too, but

since that approach is the norm no one will ever suggest to " take

your child out of school-it is causing too many problems " . But they

will say that about homeschool-even if you've been doing it for years

and have good test scores. So once you make your decision you have

to hold your ground and it will be hard b/c the questions will add

to your own doubts. You will be more sucessful I think if you make

the firm commitment and then don't let self doubts interfere and

undermine your confidence-just as parents do when public schooling.

If you are committed to homeschooling, I think it is a big help to

find other parents educating special needs kids at home and get some

added support for yourself. You have to use some self advocay if

there are alot of questions from relatives and and pressure from the

medical psychiatric etc community-which is typically very oriented

towards social conformity as the measure of " success " (in my not so

humble opinion) .

Best wishes!

nancy grace

> Hi everyone, its been a while since i posted last Jake has been

> amazing.Jake is now taking Fluoxetine and is so much improved in

many

> areas.

> As any parent supporting a child with OCD the main aim is to help

> them achieve the best they can. It takes time to understand what

this

> illness is all about and we over time find usefull ways of helping

> them manage.

> I have found that taking very small steps has worked with Jake. he

is

> not so over anxious that he gives in before he even attemps

anything.

> Jake has over thw last 4 months been working hard on bossing back

the

> OCD and has been successful with a lot of his short term goals.

> Now here comes the???????? His long term goals are very differant

to

> what his pychologist suggestes they should be and this is causing

> conflict.

> Jake has not been able to attend school for 2 years, after a lot of

> exhausting attemps i made a choice to educate him at home with the

> help of the Australian distance education school. Amazingly for the

> first time ever he is learning and enjoying it.

> Now i am well aware that this is mainly because he is in his

comfort

> zone, therefore not stressed and so minimal OCD,but he is learning

> and at 14 i think its vital he continue with whats working

> educationally.

> Jakes pychologist is delighted with his progress but has asked him

to

> start working on what was a long term goal, returning to mainstream

> school. Jake has flatly refused to entertain this and so the

conflict.

> I understand that the social side of things attached to schools is

> important for childrens mental wellbeing,but i know my son and i

hate

> being negative but i know he will crash if pushed on the subject

> right now.

> please please all opinions and experiences would be so helpfull

right

> now.

> Thanks

[Guest guest]

The very best goals are based on practical things that you have total

control over. Some examples:

I will drink 8 glasses of water a day.

I will plan my meals in advance and eat what I planned.

I will increase my weights on at least three exercises every week.

I will challenge myself on a new cardio machine every workout.

I will eat at least 5 servings of fruit and vegetables per day.

That way, your fate is in your own hands. You're not basing your

success and self-worth on whether or not the scale is cooperating. If

you routinely meet all of your practical goals, you WILL see great

results. However, if you arbitrarily decide that you're going to lose

20 pounds by a certain date, you're asking for trouble. If you have to

set a weight goal, 1 pound a week is reasonable. That leaves you some

room to wildly exceed your goal and feel great about it. Yet it's

reasonable enough that if you're not meeting it, you can usually

tighten things up just a little and get there. Inches, sizes, and body

fat percentages are a lot more tricky and variable. I see a lot of

women lose one or two dress sizes 4-5% body fat in a single 12 week

challenge. I've seen others lose 10-13% body fat and multiple sizes,

but those are usually the jaw-dropping exceptions and not what

everybody should expect.

On 3/5/06, Felicity <Felizatee@...> wrote:

> > Hi -- I'm totally new. Just started reading the books this weekend.

> > i haven't even started yet. my first question is about goals.

> >

> > itsvery hard to choose a goal -- i know they are supposed to be

> > specific and measurable -- i'm not new to this concept. but how do

> > i know how long it is going to take me to loose. how do i know

> > (since i've never even done this regime) how much i can expect to

> > loose? i don't want to make it too easy or too hard.

[Guest guest]

i love this answer.

i'm over 50 -- do you think i could safely say 1 pound per week or

should i just go with action goals , not result goals?

thanks

Felicity

On Mar 5, 2006, at 3:08 PM, Skwigg wrote:

> The very best goals are based on practical things that you have total

> control over. Some examples:

>

> I will drink 8 glasses of water a day.

> I will plan my meals in advance and eat what I planned.

> I will increase my weights on at least three exercises every week.

> I will challenge myself on a new cardio machine every workout.

> I will eat at least 5 servings of fruit and vegetables per day.

[Guest guest]

You could probably say 1 pound per week if you have more than 20

pounds to lose. If you're closer to your goal weight or you know you

have serious trouble losing, set it lower, like half a pound per week.

Or, just focus on the practical goals. You know yourself well enough

to know what's going to motivate you and what's going to frustrate.

:-)

On 3/5/06, Felicity <Felizatee@...> wrote:

> i love this answer.

>

> i'm over 50 -- do you think i could safely say 1 pound per week or

> should i just go with action goals , not result goals?

> thanks

> Felicity

> On Mar 5, 2006, at 3:08 PM, Skwigg wrote:

>

> > The very best goals are based on practical things that you have total

> > control over. Some examples:

> >

> > I will drink 8 glasses of water a day.

> > I will plan my meals in advance and eat what I planned.

> > I will increase my weights on at least three exercises every week.

> > I will challenge myself on a new cardio machine every workout.

> > I will eat at least 5 servings of fruit and vegetables per day.

[Guest guest]

I agree with , the real way to succeed is to make your goals the

life changes you are going to adopt to be healty from now forward. You

can't realy say what the scale or tape measure will do, but you CAN

say what you will put in your mouth.

Barbara

> > > Hi -- I'm totally new. Just started reading the books this weekend.

> > > i haven't even started yet. my first question is about goals.

> > >

> > > itsvery hard to choose a goal -- i know they are supposed to be

> > > specific and measurable -- i'm not new to this concept. but how do

> > > i know how long it is going to take me to loose. how do i know

> > > (since i've never even done this regime) how much i can expect to

> > > loose? i don't want to make it too easy or too hard.

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Felicity,

About 7 weeks ago I posted that very same message!!!

From everything I've read, if you work BFL hard and on target, you

can reasonably expect to lose 1/2% bodyfat per week. And 1-2 lbs of

scale weight (unless you're like me and have only 10 lbs left to

lose) per week.

Here are my goals:

1. Workout 3x/week with Weights

2. Workout 3x/week Cardio (20 min HIIT)

3. Eat 6 meals/day carb/protein balanced.

4. Use shakes and betagen to help with results.

5. Enjoy 2 free meals each week.

6. Weigh only 1x per week (Friday mornings)

7. Measure every 2-4 weeks

8. Enjoy slow, steady .5-1 lb/week fat loss

9. Continue for 12 weeks

10. Enjoy the workout/routine

11. Have faith in the results

12. Plan for occasions.

13. HAVE FAITH

14. Drink your water

15. Enjoy your weekend walks.

16. 24% bodyfat by 4/27 and 18% by 7/31

I also have some number goals but those are totally secondary to

getting to 18% bodyfat. I don't know what my weight will be since

presumably I will gain lean body mass too.

I think a very important part of this program is to measure your

progress. Take your measurements NOW, get your bodyfat checked, get

a good scale. Take pictures! It was hard for me but those things

SAVE me on these weeks when the scale doesn't budge.

I finally (in week 5) bought my own bodyfat caliper for $10 from

Amazon and now it's here, in my house, and I can do it

periodically. I highly recommend it. $10 included shipping for the

Accumeasure caliper.

I belong to another group (Get Fit Girls) and we do mini-

challenges. On Mondays we send in our weekly goals (areas of

concentration). Weds we do some sort of fun activity. Fridays we

do Fess Up/Fab Me where we say where we were weak during the week

and what we did well. Tues/Thurs we have little messenger exercises

and stretches throughout the day. This puts the challenge right in

the front of my mind. I would recommend you do your thing for a few

weeks and maybe join this group for the last half of your

challenge. It really pumped up my enthusiasm and I'm going to

finish this time with good results because of the support of this

group! And, this group here is fantastic too (of course).

Take care, you can do this and transform yourself. Good luck to

you! Jami

>

> > Hi -- I'm totally new. Just started reading the books this

weekend.

> > i haven't even started yet. my first question is about goals.

> >

> > itsvery hard to choose a goal -- i know they are supposed to be

> > specific and measurable -- i'm not new to this concept. but how

do

> > i know how long it is going to take me to loose. how do i know

> > (since i've never even done this regime) how much i can expect

to

> > loose? i don't want to make it too easy or too hard.

> >

> >

> >

>

> Felicity

> felizatee@...

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jami

I printed your goals -- they look a lot like what I will be

developing. I may use some of your ideas.

Thanks

Felicity

[Guest guest]

Do you have goals?

Do you have dreams?

I have both, some of which have been shared here, some which are internal and heart-goals or heart-dreams that I won't share.

Right now, the most important goal is to Survive this week! Today the noise and stress factor(s) were worse at work (more construction, etc) and again, I think I did a good job with not feeding myself over it.

I am HUNGRY though, which is because TOM is due this week.

I do not know what it is about TOM coming to visit that makes for the hungries. Well, yes, I do.

I remember talking to the GYN about the female surgery coming up and he commented that it's not just iron, etc that we lose during TOMs, but the need to rebuild the protein, etc in our system.

Goes to show me. I had lunch about 12:30 ish this afternoon and by 3 I was hungry. Not a bored, tired or anything else hungry, but a growling Oh.My.Gosh. I need to put something in my tummy hungry, so I bought a bagel "sandwich" out of the vending machines. I need to remember to pack an extra snack tomorrow so I am not in the machines.

It's CC (Cross Country) night for DS, so I will have to run and fix dinner right now. Not that I am hungry. Not even that he is awake yet (LOL) and hungry, but this way it is done for when we get home and can be warmed up to be eaten when he is hungry.

This is better than having no plan and looking to fast food on the drive home, trust me.

I also need to get in there and exercise. Probably do my WATP or Slim in 6 videos. Whichever, I need to put in at least 30 minutes.

Probably no lesson tonight for TLT but that's due to getting home late (9 p.m.ish)

Have a great Wednesday!

in WA