a new year poem, author unknown

[Guest guest]

‘Twas the month after Christmas and all through the houseNothing

would fit me, not even a blouse.The stuffing I’d nibbled, the turkey I’d

tasteThe yummies I’d eaten gone straight to my waist.The wine and

the mince pies, the bread and the cheeseI should have just said, “No

thank you, please”.So as I dressed myself in my boyfriend’s old shirt,I couldn’t believe my bottom and belly — the girth!I said to myself, as

only I can,“You can’t spend the year disguised as a man!”So away

with the last of the sour cream dip,Get rid of the fruitcake, every

cracker and chip.Every last bit of food that I like must be banished‘Til all the additional ounces have vanished.I won’t have a cookie, not

even a lick.Instead I’ll chew on a long celery stick.I won’t have

Irish coffees, or chocolates or pie,I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly

I’ll cry,“I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a boreBut isn’t

that what January’s for?”Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,Happy

New Year to all and to all a good diet!