Re: mother-in-law...

January 21, 2006

I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Have a heart to heart talk with your

husband and tell him everything you wrote here. Also from experience the

direct approach is best, men really have a different language. Tell him you

feel that if this is not resolved it could end with your marriage falling

apart. But also reassure him that that is the last thing in the world you

want to happen and that would break your heart. That you love him.

I agree your mil should not come back to your house. Worse comes to worse

you could ask for an injunction against her if she reacts violently again.

If know it's hard but if your husband can't fight for you you do the

fighting for the two of you. That's what a marriage is for, you should have

each other's back. I think he needs to sort through issues with his mother

and find out why he can't confront her. A good pastor, counselor, or

psychologist is really needed. Homeopathy can help too.

Ella

On 1/22/06, Jim and Jen <jlessard@...> wrote:

>

> Sheri,

> My mother-in-law came up for a visit again this weekend. She is a

> non-supporter! She looked in our filing cabinet through Kali's stuff and

> found her vaccine exemption. She said that she thought K got her shots so

> that she could go to school. I said K is in school. And she was furious

> saying that I am a bad parent. my husband didnot stick up for me or K.

> Sometimes people are afraid of what they do not know. I have tried with

> little things to introduce organic foods and such. MIL is obese and thinks

> that there are no toxins in nonorganic foods and such. And yells at me

> everytime she comes not to mention all the other " rules " I have about not

> smoking in the house or car especially around K. And bringing the dogs with

> them everytime they come, even though I have asked them nicely to get a

> hotle if they need to bring them. K acts like she is allergic to their hair.

> They are mean dogs and have put a permanent scratch scar on my little girl's

> face. I am fed up and asked her to leave. The straw that broke the camel's

> back was when K was given a hershey's chocolate bar to eat for breakfast

> this morning when everone knows that that stuff is not allowed here because

> this is K's home and I don't allow her to eat this kind of foods. MIL

> actually pushed me into a corner and told me that I am gambling with my

> daughter's life. Her own kids are in poor shape for being raised by a drug

> addict. After she pushed me in the corner, I blasted her with violence. I

> felt like I was fighting for K's right to live. This is the end of her

> coming to disrupt our life every month for a whole weekend. Her new husband

> thinks he knows all and I am exhausted from fighting with her. I am not

> allowing them to come back to our home. My husband agrees. Although he

> doesnot show very much support for me. SOME FAMILIES WILL FALL APART. I HOPE

> I CAN SAVE MY BABY AND MY MARRIAGE. THOSE ARE THE 2 THINGS CLOSEST TO MY

> HEART. ALL ELSE DOES NOT MATTER. Jenn L

>

January 22, 2006

Thanks for your support and understanding . I'm sure I'm not the only

person to ever go through this. He would tend to side with his mom usually

but, in this instance, I have explained to him enough to make him understand

WHY K won't be getting any more vaccines or meds. and he understands. I know

I handled this as well as I could've. He did come back home to us after a

while and is not upset with me and asked if I was of him. We had a small

discussion about his ability to speak up to his mom and then we made love.

So, I guess things will be ok from now on! Jenn L

Re: mother-in-law...

> I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Have a heart to heart talk with

your

> husband and tell him everything you wrote here. Also from experience the

> direct approach is best, men really have a different language. Tell him

you

> feel that if this is not resolved it could end with your marriage falling

> apart. But also reassure him that that is the last thing in the world you

> want to happen and that would break your heart. That you love him.

>

> I agree your mil should not come back to your house. Worse comes to worse

> you could ask for an injunction against her if she reacts violently again.

>

> If know it's hard but if your husband can't fight for you you do the

> fighting for the two of you. That's what a marriage is for, you should

have

> each other's back. I think he needs to sort through issues with his

mother

> and find out why he can't confront her. A good pastor, counselor, or

> psychologist is really needed. Homeopathy can help too.

>

> Ella

>

> On 1/22/06, Jim and Jen <jlessard@...> wrote:

> >

> > Sheri,

> > My mother-in-law came up for a visit again this weekend. She is a

> > non-supporter! She looked in our filing cabinet through Kali's stuff and

> > found her vaccine exemption. She said that she thought K got her shots

so

> > that she could go to school. I said K is in school. And she was furious

> > saying that I am a bad parent. my husband didnot stick up for me or K.

> > Sometimes people are afraid of what they do not know. I have tried with

> > little things to introduce organic foods and such. MIL is obese and

thinks

> > that there are no toxins in nonorganic foods and such. And yells at me

> > everytime she comes not to mention all the other " rules " I have about

not

> > smoking in the house or car especially around K. And bringing the dogs

with

> > them everytime they come, even though I have asked them nicely to get a

> > hotle if they need to bring them. K acts like she is allergic to their

hair.

> > They are mean dogs and have put a permanent scratch scar on my little

girl's

> > face. I am fed up and asked her to leave. The straw that broke the

camel's

> > back was when K was given a hershey's chocolate bar to eat for breakfast

> > this morning when everone knows that that stuff is not allowed here

because

> > this is K's home and I don't allow her to eat this kind of foods. MIL

> > actually pushed me into a corner and told me that I am gambling with my

> > daughter's life. Her own kids are in poor shape for being raised by a

drug

> > addict. After she pushed me in the corner, I blasted her with violence.

I

> > felt like I was fighting for K's right to live. This is the end of her

> > coming to disrupt our life every month for a whole weekend. Her new

husband

> > thinks he knows all and I am exhausted from fighting with her. I am not

> > allowing them to come back to our home. My husband agrees. Although he

> > doesnot show very much support for me. SOME FAMILIES WILL FALL APART. I

HOPE

> > I CAN SAVE MY BABY AND MY MARRIAGE. THOSE ARE THE 2 THINGS CLOSEST TO MY

> > HEART. ALL ELSE DOES NOT MATTER. Jenn L

> >

January 22, 2006

oh jenn, i'm so sorry you have such trouble! i can

imagine how you feel (been there, done that...). but

you did the right thing. it's YOUR home, therefore

YOUR rules apply, and never let anyone tell you

otherwise. that your MIL is totally ignorant is her

problem, not yours, and don't allow her to make it

yours, either. YOU are the one responsible for your

family's wellbeing, therefore you do what you think is

right.

and, ya know, guys usually take longer to come around

to our point of view, and they tend to stand up less

for their wife, especially if it means going against

their own family. but you've already reached a major

achievement in that your hubby agrees with you that

that disruptive and disrespectful woman will no longer

get a chance to disrupt your lives, even if he doesn't

show you the support in the open.

my heart goes out to you for going through all this.

claudia

--- Jim and Jen <jlessard@...> wrote:

> Sheri,

> My mother-in-law came up for a visit again this

> weekend. She is a non-supporter! She looked in our

> filing cabinet through Kali's stuff and found her

> vaccine exemption. She said that she thought K got

> her shots so that she could go to school. I said K

> is in school. And she was furious saying that I am a

> bad parent. my husband didnot stick up for me or K.

> Sometimes people are afraid of what they do not

> know. I have tried with little things to introduce

> organic foods and such. MIL is obese and thinks that

> there are no toxins in nonorganic foods and such.

> And yells at me everytime she comes not to mention

> all the other " rules " I have about not smoking in

> the house or car especially around K. And bringing

> the dogs with them everytime they come, even though

> I have asked them nicely to get a hotle if they need

> to bring them. K acts like she is allergic to their

> hair. They are mean dogs and have put a permanent

> scratch scar on my little girl's face. I am fed up

> and asked her to leave. The straw that broke the

> camel's back was when K was given a hershey's

> chocolate bar to eat for breakfast this morning when

> everone knows that that stuff is not allowed here

> because this is K's home and I don't allow her to

> eat this kind of foods. MIL actually pushed me into

> a corner and told me that I am gambling with my

> daughter's life. Her own kids are in poor shape for

> being raised by a drug addict. After she pushed me

> in the corner, I blasted her with violence. I felt

> like I was fighting for K's right to live. This is

> the end of her coming to disrupt our life every

> month for a whole weekend. Her new husband thinks he

> knows all and I am exhausted from fighting with her.

> I am not allowing them to come back to our home. My

> husband agrees. Although he doesnot show very much

> support for me. SOME FAMILIES WILL FALL APART. I

> HOPE I CAN SAVE MY BABY AND MY MARRIAGE. THOSE ARE

> THE 2 THINGS CLOSEST TO MY HEART. ALL ELSE DOES NOT

> MATTER. Jenn L

>

> [Non-text portions of this message have been

> removed]

>

No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a

large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/lady_karelia

__________________________________________________

January 22, 2006

Jenn,

SHE WENT THROUGH YOUR FILING CABINET?

Get the witch out of the house!

If my MIL touched my filing cabinet it would be out on her butt. My MIL

would never DREAM of going through our personal things. That is outrageous and

rude and you can tell your dh that.

Sheri B.

---------------------------------

Photos

Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events, holidays,

whatever.

January 22, 2006

Wow I agree that this woman needs to be cut off from you and your family until

she can sincerely apologize and agree to follow the rules! Any ONE of those

things would be enough to prompt this in my opinion, but all of them together

certainly would bring about a big change!

) Lucas, mom to Gavin ~ 07.09.05 ~ 6 Months Old ~

http://www.thelucastribe.com

~ UNIQUE BABY STORE ~ Featuring Customized/Personalized Baby & Children's

Clothing and Natural Parenting/Breastfeeding Advocacy Products

We Have KIDS VALENTINE'S DAY PRODUCTS available now. Free Shipping on order $50

or more - use coupon code VDAYSHIP through February 3rd.

http://www.cafepress.com/uniquebabystore

~ Featuring Custom Pencil Drawings of People & Pets ~

http://www.thelucastribe.com/drawings.shtml

My mother-in-law came up for a visit again this weekend. She is a

non-supporter!

January 22, 2006

Thank you . I was able to use my own couch to watch a movie with my

little girl for one of the first times since she has been born. I mean

TOGETHER. And there she fell fast asleep on my lap. I was so much more calm

and happier when I was able to use my own home for comfort. There has been

WAY too much going on here and it's time to slow down and quiet down. That

includes getting visitors every month for the weekend! I NEED to protect her

from those who are ignorant in order for her to keep making these cognitive

gains. I will be her protector, if no one else will. I will give her what I

think she needs. In the end, GOD gave her to me. I knpw K would not be alive

today if she were my mil's child! The support is great here! Thanks again! I

needed it. Jenn L

Re: mother-in-law...

> oh jenn, i'm so sorry you have such trouble! i can

> imagine how you feel (been there, done that...). but

> you did the right thing. it's YOUR home, therefore

> YOUR rules apply, and never let anyone tell you

> otherwise. that your MIL is totally ignorant is her

> problem, not yours, and don't allow her to make it

> yours, either. YOU are the one responsible for your

> family's wellbeing, therefore you do what you think is

> right.

> and, ya know, guys usually take longer to come around

> to our point of view, and they tend to stand up less

> for their wife, especially if it means going against

> their own family. but you've already reached a major

> achievement in that your hubby agrees with you that

> that disruptive and disrespectful woman will no longer

> get a chance to disrupt your lives, even if he doesn't

> show you the support in the open.

> my heart goes out to you for going through all this.

> claudia

>

> --- Jim and Jen <jlessard@...> wrote:

>

> > Sheri,

> > My mother-in-law came up for a visit again this

> > weekend. She is a non-supporter! She looked in our

> > filing cabinet through Kali's stuff and found her

> > vaccine exemption. She said that she thought K got

> > her shots so that she could go to school. I said K

> > is in school. And she was furious saying that I am a

> > bad parent. my husband didnot stick up for me or K.

> > Sometimes people are afraid of what they do not

> > know. I have tried with little things to introduce

> > organic foods and such. MIL is obese and thinks that

> > there are no toxins in nonorganic foods and such.

> > And yells at me everytime she comes not to mention

> > all the other " rules " I have about not smoking in

> > the house or car especially around K. And bringing

> > the dogs with them everytime they come, even though

> > I have asked them nicely to get a hotle if they need

> > to bring them. K acts like she is allergic to their

> > hair. They are mean dogs and have put a permanent

> > scratch scar on my little girl's face. I am fed up

> > and asked her to leave. The straw that broke the

> > camel's back was when K was given a hershey's

> > chocolate bar to eat for breakfast this morning when

> > everone knows that that stuff is not allowed here

> > because this is K's home and I don't allow her to

> > eat this kind of foods. MIL actually pushed me into

> > a corner and told me that I am gambling with my

> > daughter's life. Her own kids are in poor shape for

> > being raised by a drug addict. After she pushed me

> > in the corner, I blasted her with violence. I felt

> > like I was fighting for K's right to live. This is

> > the end of her coming to disrupt our life every

> > month for a whole weekend. Her new husband thinks he

> > knows all and I am exhausted from fighting with her.

> > I am not allowing them to come back to our home. My

> > husband agrees. Although he doesnot show very much

> > support for me. SOME FAMILIES WILL FALL APART. I

> > HOPE I CAN SAVE MY BABY AND MY MARRIAGE. THOSE ARE

> > THE 2 THINGS CLOSEST TO MY HEART. ALL ELSE DOES NOT

> > MATTER. Jenn L

> >

> > [Non-text portions of this message have been

> > removed]

> >

>

> No trees were killed in the sending of this message. However, a

> large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced.

>

> http://www.livejournal.com/users/lady_karelia

>

> __________________________________________________

>

January 22, 2006

Yes. Well, I do not want my daughter even being around her. I fear for her

life when she is with her and not me too. My MIL is a nosey witch. You got

that right. She doesn't understand about not giving her certain kinds of

food, giving her supplements etc. She is lucky that I don't try to get a

restraining order against her for not seeing K because of all the danfgers

she puts her in unknowingly and not caring about it. I must be a

overdramatic momma she probably thinks. She has 3 kids- 2 with med. problems

and vaxed them all. She thinks they are all perfectly healthy. She is blind.

I cannot talk to her without her knowing all and that I am wrong and a bad

momma. Well, this is fuel for the fire I lit to help K to begin. God will

take care of us. She is outrageous and rude and now she will never be coming

to our home to visit again! Thanks everyone for your imput and not your

judgement against me. Jenn L

Re: mother-in-law...

> Jenn,

>

> SHE WENT THROUGH YOUR FILING CABINET?

>

> Get the witch out of the house!

>

> If my MIL touched my filing cabinet it would be out on her butt. My

MIL would never DREAM of going through our personal things. That is

outrageous and rude and you can tell your dh that.

>

> Sheri B.

>

> ---------------------------------

> Photos

> Ring in the New Year with Photo Calendars. Add photos, events, holidays,

whatever.

>

January 22, 2006

At 01:47 PM 1/22/2006 -0500, you wrote:

>Yes. Well, I do not want my daughter even being around her. I fear for her

>life when she is with her and not me too. My MIL is a nosey witch. You got

>that right. She doesn't understand about not giving her certain kinds of

>food, giving her supplements etc. She is lucky that I don't try to get a

>restraining order against her for not seeing K because of all the danfgers

>she puts her in unknowingly and not caring about it. I must be a

>overdramatic momma she probably thinks. She has 3 kids- 2 with med. problems

>and vaxed them all. She thinks they are all perfectly healthy. She is blind.

>I cannot talk to her without her knowing all and that I am wrong and a bad

>momma. Well, this is fuel for the fire I lit to help K to begin. God will

>take care of us. She is outrageous and rude and now she will never be coming

>to our home to visit again! Thanks everyone for your imput and not your

>judgement against me. Jenn L

Hi Jenn,

I'm so sorry for what you are going through.

I'm thinking you should do something to protect yourself - file something

A statement of some type, so if she does report to CPS you have headed it

off at the pass?

Anyone have any ideas of what she could do?

Would your husband allow a restraining order?

We have another person on the list who has gone through similar with her

own mother.

You need to think of something so that you have made the first move, I

think>

--------------------------------------------------------

Sheri Nakken, R.N., MA, Hahnemannian Homeopath

Vaccination Information & Choice Network, Nevada City CA & Wales UK

$$ Donations to help in the work - accepted by Paypal account

vaccineinfo@... voicemail US 530-740-0561

(go to http://www.paypal.com) or by mail

Vaccines - http://www.nccn.net/~wwithin/vaccine.htm

Vaccine Dangers On-Line course - http://www.nccn.net/~wwithin/vaccineclass.htm

Homeopathy On-Line course - http://www.nccn.net/~wwithin/homeo.htm

ANY INFO OBTAINED HERE NOT TO BE CONSTRUED AS MEDICAL

OR LEGAL ADVICE. THE DECISION TO VACCINATE IS YOURS AND YOURS ALONE.

******

" Just look at us. Everything is backwards; everything is upside down.

Doctors destroy health, lawyers destroy justice, universities destroy

knowledge, governments destroy freedom, the major media destroy information

and religions destroy spirituality " .... Ellner

January 22, 2006

Oh God. I was trying to NOT reply to this, but Jen, how can you POSSIBLY even

think that we would judge against you???

You MUST do what is right for yourself and your daughter. No one else has the

right to say or do anything against you. Whether they like it or not.

I think it was Sheri who advised you to do something before the MIL does? DO

JUST THAT. Before she does.

When I was going through my divorce my MIL was invitedtothe Grandparent's day

at Simone's Preschool . She ended up coming back to our house (we divorced

whilst still living in the same house, long story, please don't ask!) and then

predeeded to argue with me about everything. Including the fact that she

snatched Simone away from me when she was holding my hand when at the preschool.

Anyway, to cut a long story short (or try to) both her and hit, slapped,

broke my glasses AND my hearing aid, pushed me backwards from the loungeroom all

the way down the hallway to our bedroom (14 metres), called me all sorts of

names etc etc WHILE I WAS HOLDING SIMONE. Simone was 5 at the time. As you can

imagine, she was screaming and I was terrified that I would fall over backwards

whilst I was holding her. Not a nice feeling as you can imagine. (I keep

saying imagine).......

Needless to say I DID take out an intervention order. Somehow they got the idea

that if they didn't go to court they would go to jail. Don't know how they

figured that out, as far as I know that's incorrect... Pleased that it scard

them though, but it just goes to show how bloody selfish they are doesn't it.

All they could think of is their own backsides. Never mind the damage done to

Simone.

As a rsult of all this trauma, Simone got a really bad cold ANd constipated from

wheat biscuits a 'friend' gave her, so she became constipated as a result. So,

with both ends blocked, she became dehydrated and we ended up in hospital.

Whilst I was talking to the Ambulance on the phone TTY) about Simone and my

concerns HE comes home and says " you got what you wanted " . Said whilst I was

takling to the ambulance. Never mind that I was taking Simone to hospital.

I was warned years ago about and his standing up with his mother and had

learnt over the years that yes, she does have a hold over him, but THIS?? There

had been no violence up to this point (or 'very little' any way)

I enjoyed my time without him, Smone recovered from her ordeal in hospital,

suffered badly at school, lack of self-esteem etc etc. We now know that part of

her schooling is a rsult of an eye condition which she never had before she went

into hospital. It's only saline. Yeah right.

About a year after all this shit settled down, SOMEHOW we decided to give it

another go, for Simone's sake. Now I'M the violent one if I get REALLY

frustrated with his stupidity. There is no support in disciplining Simone and

she knows a trick or two for playing us one against the other, but he doesn't

see it. I found out just before Xmas that he'd been phoning his mother every

2nd day - STD - $$. Naturally I hit the roof.

We saw her just after Xmas, SHe had the cheek to complain that all the women in

her sons' lives have caused trouble for her, " me' who's done nothing to anyone " .

I had to get up and walk away. Otherwise I would've bitten her head off.

Simone asked me a before we saw her that time why I didn't like Nana. So I

asked her fi she remembered when Nana hit Mummy when I was holding her. " I'd

forgotten about that " and gave me a hug. She was distant with her Nana that day

and didn't want to hug her. Which to me is great, but she shouldn't be going

through this at all.

I want to move to Adelaide. Simone and I both love it down there (my long

distant relatives live there - not parents) but he says wait until Mum goes.

Well, I'm not sure that I CAN wait. Why should our lives revolve around her,

whether she's living or dead?

She doesn't make the effort to come and see us, so why should we put our lives

on hold her her?

What is this hold?? I mean, I do understand grown adults having close

relationships with their parents, but to THIS extent??

Rob supported me over they years including accusations about starving her for

breastfeeding Simone when she was just 9 months old, the vacc issue etc., but

when it came to it in the end, it was his mother he supported. Get in before

she does Jen.

I gotta go make a phone call for some councelling, been a while..... I want

this bitch dead now. Wouldn't do it myself, but yeah. Out of mine and my

daughter's life.

And about - I want him out too, but Simone loves him and doesn't want him

to go. He's ok to play with her, where I can watch him, but responsibility

wise............. She really suffered emotionally too. At least he's now

working and so is out of the house most of the time.

There you have - now you understand why I have an attitude about him!

, need a cup of tea. With goat milk. Make me feel worse most

likely..........

Victims of violence are often led to believe or feel that it's their fault, when

it's NOT.