(OFF TOPIC)Fwd: Fw: Here are the labels

[Guest guest]

Hi Everyone

I usually don't send these and I hope nobody minds but I thought that you

would all get a little laugh out of this

regards

nna

>From: " Balm " <skippiechick@...>

>awesome@..., bigwillystyle1976@...,

>bootie7@..., browningbrendon@..., davidwievegg@...,

>dixiefried@..., easternbelle@...,

>friskyfiggy@..., goldengrahams18@...,

>icu4urmyhone@..., isabelleod@..., jayne0464@...,

>sandranich@..., sue_2000au@...

>Subject: Fwd: Fw: Here are the labels

>Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2002 23:00:42 +1000

>

>

>

>

>

>> > In case you needed further proof that the human race is

>> > doomed through

>> > stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on

>> > consumer goods.

>> >

>> > On a Sear's hairdryer:

>> > Do not use while sleeping.

>> > (damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my

>> > hair).

>> >

>> > On a bag of Fritos:

>> > ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details

>> > inside.

>> > (the shoplifter special)?

>> >

>> > On a bar of Dial soap:

>> > " Directions: Use like regular soap. "

>> > (and that would be how???....)

>> >

>> > On some Swanson frozen dinners:

>> > " Serving suggestion: Defrost. "

>> > (but, it's " just " a suggestion).

>> >

>> > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

>> > " Do not turn upside down. "

>> > (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

>> >

>> > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

>> > " Product will be hot after heating. "

>> > (...and you thought????...)

>> >

>> > On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

>> > " Do not iron clothes on body. " >> >> > (but wouldn't this

>> > save me more

>> > time)?

>> >

>> > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:

>> > " Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking

>> > this medication. "

>> > (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction

>> > accidents if we

>> > could

>> > just get t hose 5-year-olds with head-colds off those

>> > forklifts.)

>> >

>> > On Nytol Sleep Aid:

>> > " Warning: May cause drowsiness. "

>> > (and...I'm taking this because???....)

>> >

>> > On most brands of Christmas lights:

>> > " For indoor or outdoor use only. "

>> > (as op! posed to...what)?

>> >

>> > On a Japanese food processor:

>> > " Not to be used for the other use. "

>> > (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit

>> > curious.)

>> >

>> > On Sainsbury's peanuts:

>> > " Warning: contains nuts. "

>> > (talk about a news flash)

>> >

>> > On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

>> > " Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. "

>> > Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

>> >

>> > On a child's superman costume:

>> > " Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. "

>> > (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this

>> > one.)

>> >

>> > On a Swedish chainsaw:

>> > " Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or

>> > genitals. "

>> > (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening

>> > somewhere?)

>> >

>> > Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to

>> > spread the

>> > stupidity

>> > and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to

>> > (maybe even a

>> > chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all

>> > need to

>> > smile every once in a while.

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

>> >

>>------------------------------------------------------------------------------\

--

>> >

[Guest guest]

nna:

That is a good one!! LOL.

Debbie Abby's mom DOCGrad

MI

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

>

> _________________________________________________________________

> Join the world's largest e-mail service with MSN Hotmail.

> http://www.hotmail.com

[Guest guest]

I think I will still be laughing about this tomorrow!

> Hi Everyone

>

> I usually don't send these and I hope nobody minds but I thought

that you

> would all get a little laugh out of this

>

> regards

> nna

>

>

> >From: " Balm " <skippiechick@h...>

> >awesome@w..., bigwillystyle1976@y...,

> >bootie7@b..., browningbrendon@h..., davidwievegg@h...,

> >dixiefried@b..., easternbelle@f...,

> >friskyfiggy@h..., goldengrahams18@y...,

> >icu4urmyhone@h..., isabelleod@h..., jayne0464@h...,

> >sandranich@h..., sue_2000au@h...

> >Subject: Fwd: Fw: Here are the labels

> >Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2002 23:00:42 +1000

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >> > In case you needed further proof that the human race is

> >> > doomed through

> >> > stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on

> >> > consumer goods.

> >> >

> >> > On a Sear's hairdryer:

> >> > Do not use while sleeping.

> >> > (damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my

> >> > hair).

> >> >

> >> > On a bag of Fritos:

> >> > ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details

> >> > inside.

> >> > (the shoplifter special)?

> >> >

> >> > On a bar of Dial soap:

> >> > " Directions: Use like regular soap. "

> >> > (and that would be how???....)

> >> >

> >> > On some Swanson frozen dinners:

> >> > " Serving suggestion: Defrost. "

> >> > (but, it's " just " a suggestion).

> >> >

> >> > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

> >> > " Do not turn upside down. "

> >> > (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

> >> >

> >> > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

> >> > " Product will be hot after heating. "

> >> > (...and you thought????...)

> >> >

> >> > On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

> >> > " Do not iron clothes on body. " >> >> > (but wouldn't this

> >> > save me more

> >> > time)?

> >> >

> >> > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:

> >> > " Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking

> >> > this medication. "

> >> > (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction

> >> > accidents if we

> >> > could

> >> > just get t hose 5-year-olds with head-colds off those

> >> > forklifts.)

> >> >

> >> > On Nytol Sleep Aid:

> >> > " Warning: May cause drowsiness. "

> >> > (and...I'm taking this because???....)

> >> >

> >> > On most brands of Christmas lights:

> >> > " For indoor or outdoor use only. "

> >> > (as op! posed to...what)?

> >> >

> >> > On a Japanese food processor:

> >> > " Not to be used for the other use. "

> >> > (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit

> >> > curious.)

> >> >

> >> > On Sainsbury's peanuts:

> >> > " Warning: contains nuts. "

> >> > (talk about a news flash)

> >> >

> >> > On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

> >> > " Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. "

> >> > Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

> >> >

> >> > On a child's superman costume:

> >> > " Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. "

> >> > (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this

> >> > one.)

> >> >

> >> > On a Swedish chainsaw:

> >> > " Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or

> >> > genitals. "

> >> > (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening

> >> > somewhere?)

> >> >

> >> > Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to

> >> > spread the

> >> > stupidity

> >> > and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to

> >> > (maybe even a

> >> > chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all

> >> > need to

> >> > smile every once in a while.

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >>------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------

> >> >

[Guest guest]

>> > On a Swedish chainsaw:

> >> > " Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or

> >> > genitals. "

> >> > (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening

> >> > somewhere?)

> >> >

They were all so funny, but this one really cracks me up!! I guess

self-circumcision with a chainsaw isn't the way to go! Thanks for

the laugh!

Niki

Kaylie & Danny (STAR grads)

Phila., PA

[Guest guest]

Oh that was soo funny. Thanks I needed the laugh!!

Christi Mom to Mya

> Hi Everyone

>

> I usually don't send these and I hope nobody minds but I thought

that you

> would all get a little laugh out of this

>

> regards

> nna

>

>

> >From: " Balm " <skippiechick@h...>

> >awesome@w..., bigwillystyle1976@y...,

> >bootie7@b..., browningbrendon@h..., davidwievegg@h...,

> >dixiefried@b..., easternbelle@f...,

> >friskyfiggy@h..., goldengrahams18@y...,

> >icu4urmyhone@h..., isabelleod@h..., jayne0464@h...,

> >sandranich@h..., sue_2000au@h...

> >Subject: Fwd: Fw: Here are the labels

> >Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2002 23:00:42 +1000

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >> > In case you needed further proof that the human race is

> >> > doomed through

> >> > stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on

> >> > consumer goods.

> >> >

> >> > On a Sear's hairdryer:

> >> > Do not use while sleeping.

> >> > (damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my

> >> > hair).

> >> >

> >> > On a bag of Fritos:

> >> > ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details

> >> > inside.

> >> > (the shoplifter special)?

> >> >

> >> > On a bar of Dial soap:

> >> > " Directions: Use like regular soap. "

> >> > (and that would be how???....)

> >> >

> >> > On some Swanson frozen dinners:

> >> > " Serving suggestion: Defrost. "

> >> > (but, it's " just " a suggestion).

> >> >

> >> > On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):

> >> > " Do not turn upside down. "

> >> > (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

> >> >

> >> > On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

> >> > " Product will be hot after heating. "

> >> > (...and you thought????...)

> >> >

> >> > On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

> >> > " Do not iron clothes on body. " >> >> > (but wouldn't this

> >> > save me more

> >> > time)?

> >> >

> >> > On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:

> >> > " Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking

> >> > this medication. "

> >> > (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction

> >> > accidents if we

> >> > could

> >> > just get t hose 5-year-olds with head-colds off those

> >> > forklifts.)

> >> >

> >> > On Nytol Sleep Aid:

> >> > " Warning: May cause drowsiness. "

> >> > (and...I'm taking this because???....)

> >> >

> >> > On most brands of Christmas lights:

> >> > " For indoor or outdoor use only. "

> >> > (as op! posed to...what)?

> >> >

> >> > On a Japanese food processor:

> >> > " Not to be used for the other use. "

> >> > (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit

> >> > curious.)

> >> >

> >> > On Sainsbury's peanuts:

> >> > " Warning: contains nuts. "

> >> > (talk about a news flash)

> >> >

> >> > On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

> >> > " Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts. "

> >> > Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

> >> >

> >> > On a child's superman costume:

> >> > " Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. "

> >> > (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this

> >> > one.)

> >> >

> >> > On a Swedish chainsaw:

> >> > " Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or

> >> > genitals. "

> >> > (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening

> >> > somewhere?)

> >> >

> >> > Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to

> >> > spread the

> >> > stupidity

> >> > and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to

> >> > (maybe even a

> >> > chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all

> >> > need to

> >> > smile every once in a while.

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >> >

> >>------------------------------------------------------------------

--------------

> >> >