Re: I'm so depressed

[Guest guest]

Well my hubby was good as his word he bought me a scale today. I got on it at about 1 pm and I weighed at lot more than on the old scale.

Don't let that discourage you. No two scales weighs the same. Now that you have a new scale only weigh on that scale and don't pay attention to the numbers on any other one.If you weigh on the same scales you will have a better idea of your weight loss progress.

I was not good this week I only stayed on my plan for 2 days.

One again. Don't give up! It's not easy and shoot I couldn't get though one day when I started. Take some baby steps. For example get up tomorrow and say I'm gonna focus on my drinks today. Cut out all your sodas, kool-aid and only drink water for your liquids. You'd be surprised how many calories just your drinks will add up to at the end of the day especially if you drink sodas.Tomorrow maybe try cutting your breakfast down to 450 calories. Just keep adding small things untill you get to where your eating is more easily handled.

I ate what I wanted the rest of the time and probably GAINED weight. Maybe I'm just not ready to lose this? Why can't I do this? I have no willpower, that's why. It is times like this I think what's so bad about being fat anyway maybe everyone will just have to live with like this.

You know, sometimes I really have to ask myself if I'm really ready to lose it too. I think that is a valid question. I think I was when I started but now.....I need to be reminded at times of the reasons I started. I have no will power neither. I have said before had I not lost 20 pounds since I started I would have quit long ago from sheer frustration. Please don't give up. If you can just make this commitment and really"stick with it" for just 2 weeks, you will lose some weight and after you lose just 5 pounds it will encourage you to keep going.

UGH I hate that my poor daughter hates me at this weight but I feel like why try? I can't do it. Maybe I think I'll magically get approved for gastric bypass or something. I just don't what's wrong with me. I hear all you guys talking about losing weight and I want to be you. BUT I can't seem to take that first step. O Man I've whined long enough.

Well Hon, Open your ears and listen to some more of these posts. There are plenty of us here that periocally gains and some of us has been stuck on the maintaing ladder forever.So you aren't alone. You most certainly can do it! And yes you can take the first step. Com on..... Tomorrow just let your first step be to cut out all your sodas, and drink just plain water all day. If you feel you arent going to get though the day then drink a no calorie diet soda. Then day after tomorrow think of one more "baby step" to take. Don't try and do everything you read all at once as it will overload you:)

I'm sorry for venting and whining,

Don't be sorry. This is a support group. It's what we are here for:)

[Guest guest]

Hang in there . For one, the new scale could be the difference. Or the heat (aka retention, etc).... I haven't "lost" lately LOL... I actually gained 1 lb at my last weighin.... :'( that's ok, I'll take it....

Keep up the good work, it'll come off..... and, stay off the scale now for a week or so so the numbers don't make you crazy.

[Guest guest]

the weight difference could be because you weighed in during the middle of the day. What time do you usually weigh in? You can do this baby steps - you had 2 good days last week - shoot for 3 this week. it's minute by minute, if you fall off at lunch start fresh at dinner. You can do this, it's not easy but it can be done. I'm sure your daughter doen't hate you - just maybe hates the things you can't do with her because the weight is getting in the way and taking away from her. Hang in there. Make your list - make a plan - if you see it in black and white maybe that will help you. That's what we're here for - happy, sad, ticked off or just plain over the edge. Live, Love, Laugh

I'm so depressed

Well my hubby was good as his word he bought me a scale today. I got on it at about 1 pm and I weighed at lot more than on the old scale. I was not good this week I only stayed on my plan for 2 days. I ate what I wanted the rest of the time and probably GAINED weight. Maybe I'm just not ready to lose this? Why can't I do this? I have no willpower, that's why. It is times like this I think what's so bad about being fat anyway maybe everyone will just have to live with like this. UGH I hate that my poor daughter hates me at this weight but I feel like why try? I can't do it. Maybe I think I'll magically get approved for gastric bypass or something. I just don't what's wrong with me. I hear all you guys talking about losing weight and I want to be you. BUT I can't seem to take that first step. O Man I've whined long enough. I'm sorry for venting and whining,

..

[Guest guest]

nuff said

On 7/22/06, ODell <ib_domesticdiva@...> wrote:

Well my hubby was good as his word he bought me a scale today. I got on it at about 1 pm and I weighed at lot more than on the old scale. I was not good this week I only stayed on my plan for 2 days. I ate what I wanted the rest of the time and probably GAINED weight. Maybe I'm just not ready to lose this? Why can't I do this? I have no willpower, that's why. It is times like this I think what's so bad about being fat anyway maybe everyone will just have to live with like this. UGH I hate that my poor daughter hates me at this weight but I feel like why try? I can't do it. Maybe I think I'll magically get approved for gastric bypass or something. I just don't what's wrong with me. I hear all you guys talking about losing weight and I want to be you. BUT I can't seem to take that first step. O Man I've whined long enough.

I'm sorry for venting and whining,

[Guest guest]

hmm i dont think the pic went through.. lol

hun hang in there, i know what your going through .. write me if you ever need to talk g2wl.n.07@...

On 7/22/06, going 2 weigh less <g2wl.n.07@...> wrote:

nuff said

On 7/22/06, ODell <

ib_domesticdiva@...> wrote:

Well my hubby was good as his word he bought me a scale today. I got on it at about 1 pm and I weighed at lot more than on the old scale. I was not good this week I only stayed on my plan for 2 days. I ate what I wanted the rest of the time and probably GAINED weight. Maybe I'm just not ready to lose this? Why can't I do this? I have no willpower, that's why. It is times like this I think what's so bad about being fat anyway maybe everyone will just have to live with like this. UGH I hate that my poor daughter hates me at this weight but I feel like why try? I can't do it. Maybe I think I'll magically get approved for gastric bypass or something. I just don't what's wrong with me. I hear all you guys talking about losing weight and I want to be you. BUT I can't seem to take that first step. O Man I've whined long enough.

I'm sorry for venting and whining,

[Guest guest]

, I sure like your honesty. It's not fluffy clouds all the time, is it? Yeah, this stuff can suck. It's tough and many times it doesn't seem worth it. There's nothing wrong with you and you're certainly not the only one. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. The scale says what it says. Be kind to yourself. You're definitely not going to lose any weight with shame and guilt as your motivator. The number on the scale sucks (mine does too by the way) but the number isn't the sum measurement of who we are. You are worth it. And by "it" I mean you are worth taking care of yourself. Give yourself some grace. Tomorrow's another day to try again. For me too. I'm going to take my own advice. I'll send good thoughts your way. E-mail me if you need some support. Miene

ODell <ib_domesticdiva@...> wrote: Well my hubby was good as his word he bought me a scale today. I got on it at about 1 pm and I weighed at lot more than on the old scale. I was not good this week I only stayed on my plan for 2 days. I ate what I wanted the rest of the time and probably GAINED weight. Maybe I'm just not ready to lose this? Why can't I do this? I have no willpower, that's why. It is times like this I think

what's so bad about being fat anyway maybe everyone will just have to live with like this. UGH I hate that my poor daughter hates me at this weight but I feel like why try? I can't do it. Maybe I think I'll magically get approved for gastric bypass or something. I just don't what's wrong with me. I hear all you guys talking about losing weight and I want to be you. BUT I can't seem to take that first step. O Man I've whined long enough. I'm sorry for venting and whining,

See the all-new, redesigned .com. Check it out.

[Guest guest]

, I work with a guy who had gastric bypass in January and he's been talking to me about it...and for the last few weeks I've been considering it. I know I'd get used to all the vitamins I'd have to take...and as he said it's trial and error and throwing up quite a bit for some people as they figure out what they can and can't have. I think my way - eating healthy and exercising and changing my lifestyle - is easier than having surgery...did I just say that???? somebody slap me for using the words healthy, exercise and easier in the same sentence!!! Not that it's easy to lose weight...but it is doable. And some days you'll feel like crap...and you'll think 'oh what's the point'...the thing is you shouldn't do this for your daughter....you shouldn't do it for your husband...you should do it for . It hurts when our weight

effects the people around us...but it hurts us more. Okay so you only stayed on the plan for two days out of seven this week...that's two whole days...and if you did it for two days you can do it for three next week and four the week after. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are human and you'll slip up. We all do. The trick is to not give up when you do....to accept that you had a lapse and move on. Don't let it derail you because when losing weight it is easy to grab hold of any excuse to not have to keep to the plan. I know...I've grabbed at a lot myself which is why I have problems breathing at night when I sleep, it's why I wheeze when I exhale etc. Only you know if you're ready ...that is a point you have to get to yourself...nobody else can tell you when the time is here...you'll know....and you'll be able to tell because you will feel focused and

determined. For me it's almost this burning feeling inside me I want it so bad...but I had to get more than 150 pounds overweight before I finally said enough. Make a list of why you want to lose weight, of what it will change in your life if you do. Work out an eating plan you can live with every single day and then commit to doing some form of exercise for however long you think you can each day. Doing a little each day and building up from there is a start. You can do this ...you really can. It's not going to be easy but you'll have the people on this list cheering you on because you are worth it...and it's there within your reach. ODell <ib_domesticdiva@...> wrote: Well my hubby was good as his word he bought me a scale today. I got on it at about 1 pm and I weighed at lot more than on the old scale. I was not good this week I only stayed on my plan for 2 days. I ate what I wanted the rest of the time and probably GAINED weight. Maybe I'm just not ready to lose this? Why can't I do this? I have no willpower, that's why. It is times like this I think what's so bad about being fat anyway maybe everyone will just have to live with like this. UGH I hate that my poor daughter hates me at this weight but I feel like why try? I can't do it. Maybe I think I'll

magically get approved for gastric bypass or something. I just don't what's wrong with me. I hear all you guys talking about losing weight and I want to be you. BUT I can't seem to take that first step. O Man I've whined long enough. I'm sorry for venting and whining,

See the all-new, redesigned .com. Check it out.

[Guest guest]

my friend. Face that Dam scale journal it and start making baby steps. Water, Portions, and exercise. Keys to any program. Cant look into the past at the old scale deal with this scale.

NH... Mom to Abby Liz 10/94 Anne 7/99

[Guest guest]

ThANKS FOR THE TOUGHLOVE! I have actually looked at those sites you mentioned and read the books the overcoming site mentioned. I am trying to love myself this way but I cringe at the thought of being this way forever. I like this group do I have to leave if I decide to stay fat for awhile?

..

[Guest guest]

Hi !

> Well my hubby was good as his word he bought me a scale today.

A lot of people don't like scales, but I do. Mostly I want to know if

I'm re-gaining. I can get obsessive about it (mostly in the past),

but now that I've come to realize that this is NOT a temporary thing,

but a lifelong journey of trying to eat healthy and exercise, I'm not

obsessive about using it anymore. I get on every week or two, very

rarely more than once every 10 days. *shrugs*

>I got on it at about 1 pm and I weighed at lot more than on the old

scale. I was not good this week I only stayed on my plan for 2 days.

I ate what I wanted the rest of the time and probably GAINED weight. <

Do you normally weigh in the morning? My weight can go up 5-8 pounds

during the day, especially right after I drink a bunch of water. And

on top of that, it's a new scale. You have to erase the other number

from your mind and just start fresh. Think of it this way: Let's say

hubby had set up the new scale and you stepped on it and it showed a

20-lb loss. Would you have jumped for joy and believed that you lost

20 lbs overnight? Would you have thrown out all your clothes and

bought all new in a size or two smaller just because the new scale

said you'd lost 20 pounds? Nah Just relax and remember that it's

only a number. Not worth ruining your day over.

> Maybe I'm just not ready to lose this? Why can't I do this? <

Maybe you are, maybe you're not. No matter which of those is

accurate, though, we all have to learn to love and accept ourselves

exactly the way we are *now*...not " I'll like myself if I can lose 40

pounds or get into a size X " , but NOW. We have to accept who we are

before we can decide which direction to go in. If we don't love

ourselves enough to make healthy changes for ourselves (not for hubby

or an upcoming reunion), we'll never make it. I've even found that

making the decision out of love has helped. What I mean is, instead

of making the choice to exercise and eat healthy out of sheer disgust

with myself, I now make the decision to do those things out of love

for myself.

>I have no willpower, that's why. It is times like this I think what's

so bad about being fat anyway maybe everyone will just have to live

with like this. <

This is tough to respond to because I'm not sure how to word what I'd

like to say. I'm not sure it's willpower that keeps me going. It's

not the dream of getting back into a size 14, either. It's more that

I'm happier now that I'm able to move more easily--I like being able

to play with my boys and not feel like I'm going to pass out. I like

having energy to do stuff with them and still get the housework done.

So I guess it's a sort of positive momentum thing that keeps me

going. But I struggle with food choices almost daily. I have to

remember to ask myself why I'm eating and if I'm willing to go off

plan for a (fill in high calorie, bad food item here). Most of the

time it's not worth it. Some days come and I don't give a flying hoot

and I eat whatever I want and then the next day I get back on.

Because I don't want to go back to being a couch potato. I love being

active and somewhat healthy. But I think it's always going to be a

struggle. I don't think this is EVER going to be 'easy' for me. I

really am a food addict.

>UGH I hate that my poor daughter hates me at this weight but I feel

like why try? I can't do it.

You CAN do it. I'm going to try to find a quote about this that I

used to keep handy. Now I can't find it Ah ha! Here it is:

" Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I

cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I

believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't

have it in the beginning. " -Mahatma Gandhi

>Maybe I think I'll magically get approved for gastric bypass or

something. I just don't what's wrong with me. I hear all you guys

talking about losing weight and I want to be you. BUT I can't seem to

take that first step. O Man I've whined long enough. <

There's nothing wrong with you. We ALL struggle. Maybe thinking

about 'the three questions' would help get you going...

1. What do you want?

2. Why do you want it?

3. What are you willing to do to attain it?

> I'm sorry for venting and whining,

That's what we're here for Best of luck to you, . The

first step is usually the hardest, I think.

-Bonnie

[Guest guest]

> Maybe you're not. You do know that it *is* posible to be fat and

healthy,

> right? Fat people have walked this earth and lived into their 80's

and 90's

> for thousands of years. It's only since the 1900's that people have

become

> obsessed with being thinner than how their genetics made them.

I debated whether or not to respond to this...I decided I would,

simply because I don't want anyone else to fall into the trap I did.

About 6 or 7 years ago I stumbled upon a 'size acceptance' group. At

the time I thought it was the very best thing ever. And I do believe

that acceptance is important (not just with size, but everything), and

I also believe that you *can* be fat and healthy. However, it's hard

to be fat and truly healthy. Sooner or later, the weight usually

catches up with you--blood pressure, blood sugars, problems in joints,

etc. And what happens when problems in joints start popping up?

Exercise becomes more difficult. Just how healthy can a person be if

they can't move their body efficiently?

I also think there's a huge difference between 20lbs overweight and

100+lbs overweight. There *are* people who happen to be significantly

overweight who eat healthy and exercise, but cannot lose weight. But

I would bet that the percentage of people who really, truly, cannot

lose weight despite exercise and healthy eating is low. I would also

bet that the number of people who were 100+lbs overweight thousands of

years ago was less than 1%. And it's fairly recently, in the grand

scheme of things, that people started living into their 80's and 90's.

It was unheard of even 300 years ago. And if a person really poured

through the numbers, I would guess that the percentage of

significnatly overweight people who die 'young' is far great than the

percentage who live well into their 80's and 90's.

> >Why can't I do this?

I believe most people *can*. I think it's the perpetual negative

thinking that gets us into trouble...including beating ourselves up

when we make mistakes.

> Because maybe your body doesn't WANT to be thinner?

Now this I agree with, to an extent. I'm doing everything I can to

get healthy and I'm not losing much anymore. So, there's a very good

possibility that this is where (or maybe near where) I'm meant to be.

If you're truly doing everything you can with diet and exercise to

lose and you're simply not, this is a very good possibility. But no

harm in getting your cardiovascular health up a notch or two and

getting some muscle definition, even if your weight isn't going to

come down, right?

> > It is times like this I think what's so bad about being fat anyway

For me, I know what'll happen if I don't keep up with the exercise and

healthy eating. Both sides of my family have problems with diabetes,

high blood pressure, and heart disease. My grandpa had both legs

amputated due to diabetes, my other grandpa died of a heart attack,

and one of my grandmothers died after several heart attacks and

strokes, at the age of 60. My aunt died at the age of 41 from a

massive heart attack. My odds weren't so good a year ago.

On top of all that, I *like* moving more easily, I like being active,

and I feel like all this change has had a positive impact on my life.

> Just this current swing of the fashion pendulum. In

> the 1950's, fashion wanted women to have some meat on their bones.

Hopefully

> that pendulum will swing back that way soon.

But I doubt it ever gets to where morbidly obese women are posing for

Playboy. " Some meat on their bones " was like Marilyn Monroe...just

some curves more than anything else. Still in a 'normal' weight

range. And really, it's not just the appearance in all this, is it?

It's health. I don't want to get to where I'm stuck in the house

because I don't fit in the van. Or stuck in bed because I'm simply

too big to move.

> > but I feel like why try? I can't do it.

>

> Don't try to lose weight! Even if you *do* manage to lose a few

pounds by

> starving yourself and exercising obsessively (As if a busy mom

*could* do

> that!!), odds are against you keeping any weight off and are in

favor of you

> not only regaining it all but also adding an additional 20% more,

because by

> starving yourself you've lowered your metabolic level so more

calories are

> now getting stored as fat instead of burned as fuel.

Sue, now don't get me wrong 'cause I think you're great, but this is

so negative! I know the odds aren't good for losing weight and

keeping it off, but that's what we're ALL here to do! And having this

support has helped me so much I can't even describe it. But reading

stuff like this even makes ME think, " Well, why the hell am I even

trying?! "

If you don't want to lose weight, but want to become healthier by

exercising more and eating healthier and maybe throwing in some

portion control, then I'd bet you (as well as most of us in here) will

lose some weight. Maybe we'll never get down to what the health

charts say we should, but who cares? 50 or so pounds into my loss, I

got to go off my BP meds. That right there is worth every second I

spend exercising and planning out my meals.

> What you CAN do is what I mentioned above - eat healthier (not

necessarily

> less calories)

But being aware of how much you eat, by keeping a food journal, even

if it's only for a week, might be helpful. See, when I fell into the

'trap', I honestly believed that all fat people just had bad luck with

genetics. It wasn't what I ate because I ate pretty well. I

exercised sometimes. Well, after keeping track of my calories for

that week last September, you could've knocked me over with a feather.

I was *shocked* at how much I was eating. So, for me, the kinds of

foods I ate were mostly alright, it was the portions. I ate twice the

calories in a day that I should've been. And I'm not starving myself

now--I know better, know it'll cause my metabolism to slow down, and

I'm not willing to be miserable. *shrugs* If that means I stay where

I am, so be it.

> and the few who *are*

> losing big are eating way too little calories for their current

weight and

> exercising a heck of a lot. If you looked at that Foodmover chart

you'll see

> that for people who weigh over 250 pounds they should be eating 2000

> calories for optimal health as well as weight loss. Many of the " big

losers "

> are eating as low as 1000 calories - half of what they should be.

Is anyone on here really eating that few calories? I eat over twice

that! Now if I wasn't exercising, I'd stick to closer to 1800, I

think, but since I exercise (and I LOVE it--wouldn't give it up for

anything), I need more. Between 2000-2300 most days.

> Weight loss *can* be done, but it's a full time job. Every bite you eat,

> every drink you take, has to be weighed and measured. Exercise must be

> monitored and timed and constantly increased as the body becomes used to

> that level of movement and burns less calories.

This isn't entirely accurate according to what I've been reading. If

you do the same exact exercise every single day, then yes, your body

gets used to it and becomes more efficient at using calories so it's

not having the same impact on your metabolism after a while. However,

if you're willing to do a couple different activities, then this

doesn't happen as much - if at all. It's why I do so many different

things. Plus, I get bored silly doing the same thing every day. And

boredom, for me, is one step away from quitting.

>Food plans and calorie

> levels have to be tweaked as weight loss slows. And you must

*continue* to

> do this every day for the rest of your life.

True, but in my opinion, small price to pay to live an extra 2, 5, 10

years.

> then decide if you want to devote the majority of your time to the

> pursuit of weight loss, or would perfer to spend it living a healthy,

> fun-filled life.

I don't devote the 'majority of my time' to it. It's a part of my

life. Yes, I go to bed ealier than I used to and I get up earlier

than I used to, but that's *me* time. And you know, I am a happier,

calmer person for it. I have energy to spare during the day. I keep

track of what goes into my mouth and that is a slight inconvenience at

times, but it takes like 10 seconds (literally) to write down what I'm

eating--what's the big deal?

Thanks to losing some weight and becoming more active (and most of us

significantly overweight folks are NOT active enough, despite what

some of the size acceptance groups say...one bike ride a week does not

a fit person make), I DO live a healthy, fun filled life. It's

wonderful to take the kids to the zoo and not have to sit down every 5

minutes.

I just wanted to post the 'other side of the coin', so to speak.

-Bonnie

[Guest guest]

Bonnie, I'm glad you replied. I needed a kick in the butt that I got from Sue and the sigh of relief I got from yours. I find both points of view helpful. For me, it's really simple arithmetic of using more calories than I'm putting into my mouth. I agree 100% with the food journal and I've read that several different places as well. I believe it's one of the most common factors in folks that have lost weight and kept it off. What was an eye opener for me was that I could have two cups of something verses one bite of something else for the same calories. Each day I balance. Sometimes I want quantity which means tons of vegetables... and sometimes it's worth it to have a smaller amount of something with higher calorie content. It's all about choices and some days are better than others but I'm learning to accept all of my choices without beating myself up. It's that self-defeating attitude that's allowed me to throw in the towel thinking I'd start again... next Monday.... after the holidays... when the truth is I can make a better choice right now. I don't have to wait for the planets to align. What I'm working on now is movement. I need to exercise more. This I know and I'm working on it a few steps at a time. I've heard about people that become addicted to exercise and I wish that'd kick in. What's also been super important for me is figuring out the mental part to it. As Dr. Phil says, "What's

my payoff?" I use food as a coping mechanism and it is important for me to figure out what I'm trying to cope with and to find a way to do it without food. I'd love to get to the point where food is just a nutritional necessity and exercise is a healthy habit. I really appreciate your point of view so thanks again for sharing your experience. Mienebrgk44 <brgk44@...> wrote: > Maybe you're not. You do know that it *is* posible to be fat andhealthy,>

right? Fat people have walked this earth and lived into their 80'sand 90's> for thousands of years. It's only since the 1900's that people havebecome> obsessed with being thinner than how their genetics made them.I debated whether or not to respond to this...I decided I would,simply because I don't want anyone else to fall into the trap I did. About 6 or 7 years ago I stumbled upon a 'size acceptance' group. Atthe time I thought it was the very best thing ever. And I do believethat acceptance is important (not just with size, but everything), andI also believe that you *can* be fat and healthy. However, it's hardto be fat and truly healthy. Sooner or later, the weight usuallycatches up with you--blood pressure, blood sugars, problems in joints,etc. And what happens when problems in joints start popping up? Exercise becomes more difficult. Just how healthy can a person be ifthey can't move their body

efficiently?I also think there's a huge difference between 20lbs overweight and100+lbs overweight. There *are* people who happen to be significantlyoverweight who eat healthy and exercise, but cannot lose weight. ButI would bet that the percentage of people who really, truly, cannotlose weight despite exercise and healthy eating is low. I would alsobet that the number of people who were 100+lbs overweight thousands ofyears ago was less than 1%. And it's fairly recently, in the grandscheme of things, that people started living into their 80's and 90's.It was unheard of even 300 years ago. And if a person really pouredthrough the numbers, I would guess that the percentage ofsignificnatly overweight people who die 'young' is far great than thepercentage who live well into their 80's and 90's.> >Why can't I do this?I believe most people *can*. I think it's the perpetual negativethinking that gets us

into trouble...including beating ourselves upwhen we make mistakes.> Because maybe your body doesn't WANT to be thinner?Now this I agree with, to an extent. I'm doing everything I can toget healthy and I'm not losing much anymore. So, there's a very goodpossibility that this is where (or maybe near where) I'm meant to be.If you're truly doing everything you can with diet and exercise tolose and you're simply not, this is a very good possibility. But noharm in getting your cardiovascular health up a notch or two andgetting some muscle definition, even if your weight isn't going tocome down, right? > > It is times like this I think what's so bad about being fat anywayFor me, I know what'll happen if I don't keep up with the exercise andhealthy eating. Both sides of my family have problems with diabetes,high blood pressure, and heart disease. My grandpa had both legsamputated due to

diabetes, my other grandpa died of a heart attack,and one of my grandmothers died after several heart attacks andstrokes, at the age of 60. My aunt died at the age of 41 from amassive heart attack. My odds weren't so good a year ago.On top of all that, I *like* moving more easily, I like being active,and I feel like all this change has had a positive impact on my life.> Just this current swing of the fashion pendulum. In> the 1950's, fashion wanted women to have some meat on their bones.Hopefully> that pendulum will swing back that way soon.But I doubt it ever gets to where morbidly obese women are posing forPlayboy. "Some meat on their bones" was like Marilyn Monroe...justsome curves more than anything else. Still in a 'normal' weightrange. And really, it's not just the appearance in all this, is it? It's health. I don't want to get to where I'm stuck in the housebecause I don't fit in the

van. Or stuck in bed because I'm simplytoo big to move.> > but I feel like why try? I can't do it.> > Don't try to lose weight! Even if you *do* manage to lose a fewpounds by> starving yourself and exercising obsessively (As if a busy mom*could* do> that!!), odds are against you keeping any weight off and are infavor of you> not only regaining it all but also adding an additional 20% more,because by> starving yourself you've lowered your metabolic level so morecalories are> now getting stored as fat instead of burned as fuel.Sue, now don't get me wrong 'cause I think you're great, but this isso negative! I know the odds aren't good for losing weight andkeeping it off, but that's what we're ALL here to do! And having thissupport has helped me so much I can't even describe it. But readingstuff like this even makes ME think, "Well, why the hell am I

eventrying?!"If you don't want to lose weight, but want to become healthier byexercising more and eating healthier and maybe throwing in someportion control, then I'd bet you (as well as most of us in here) willlose some weight. Maybe we'll never get down to what the healthcharts say we should, but who cares? 50 or so pounds into my loss, Igot to go off my BP meds. That right there is worth every second Ispend exercising and planning out my meals.> What you CAN do is what I mentioned above - eat healthier (notnecessarily> less calories) But being aware of how much you eat, by keeping a food journal, evenif it's only for a week, might be helpful. See, when I fell into the'trap', I honestly believed that all fat people just had bad luck withgenetics. It wasn't what I ate because I ate pretty well. Iexercised sometimes. Well, after keeping track of my calories forthat week last September,

you could've knocked me over with a feather.I was *shocked* at how much I was eating. So, for me, the kinds offoods I ate were mostly alright, it was the portions. I ate twice thecalories in a day that I should've been. And I'm not starving myselfnow--I know better, know it'll cause my metabolism to slow down, andI'm not willing to be miserable. *shrugs* If that means I stay whereI am, so be it.> and the few who *are*> losing big are eating way too little calories for their currentweight and> exercising a heck of a lot. If you looked at that Foodmover chartyou'll see> that for people who weigh over 250 pounds they should be eating 2000> calories for optimal health as well as weight loss. Many of the "biglosers"> are eating as low as 1000 calories - half of what they should be. Is anyone on here really eating that few calories? I eat over twicethat! Now if I wasn't exercising, I'd

stick to closer to 1800, Ithink, but since I exercise (and I LOVE it--wouldn't give it up foranything), I need more. Between 2000-2300 most days.> Weight loss *can* be done, but it's a full time job. Every bite you eat,> every drink you take, has to be weighed and measured. Exercise must be> monitored and timed and constantly increased as the body becomes used to> that level of movement and burns less calories. This isn't entirely accurate according to what I've been reading. Ifyou do the same exact exercise every single day, then yes, your bodygets used to it and becomes more efficient at using calories so it'snot having the same impact on your metabolism after a while. However,if you're willing to do a couple different activities, then thisdoesn't happen as much - if at all. It's why I do so many differentthings. Plus, I get bored silly doing the same thing every day. Andboredom, for me, is one

step away from quitting.>Food plans and calorie> levels have to be tweaked as weight loss slows. And you must*continue* to> do this every day for the rest of your life.True, but in my opinion, small price to pay to live an extra 2, 5, 10years.> then decide if you want to devote the majority of your time to the> pursuit of weight loss, or would perfer to spend it living a healthy,> fun-filled life.I don't devote the 'majority of my time' to it. It's a part of mylife. Yes, I go to bed ealier than I used to and I get up earlierthan I used to, but that's *me* time. And you know, I am a happier,calmer person for it. I have energy to spare during the day. I keeptrack of what goes into my mouth and that is a slight inconvenience attimes, but it takes like 10 seconds (literally) to write down what I'meating--what's the big deal?Thanks to losing some weight and becoming

more active (and most of ussignificantly overweight folks are NOT active enough, despite whatsome of the size acceptance groups say...one bike ride a week does nota fit person make), I DO live a healthy, fun filled life. It'swonderful to take the kids to the zoo and not have to sit down every 5minutes.I just wanted to post the 'other side of the coin', so to speak.-Bonnie

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