's MOTD Sat 6/3/2006

[Guest guest]

's Daily MessageSaturdayJune 03, 2006

ARE YOU AN ENABLER?

". My name is Owen and I`ve been married for 28 years. I love my wife very much, maybe too much. I estimate her weight to be over 300 pounds. We spend a lot of time watching television and eating together. The worse day of our lives was when she became agoraphobic and didn`t want to leave the house. She would sit and cry as I held her in my arms. After her cry, she would tell me she was hungry and asked if I would run to the store and buy her some snacks. I`d always do it because I wanted to to see her happy. , I overfed my wife, terribly, and now I feel guilty about what has happened with her weight. She still cries when she becomes upset and time after time, I rush to the store for her. I need help!"-------------------------------------

". I married a man who loves to eat. When I met him, he was around 280 pounds and I loved every bit of him. I thought I could help him. But after we were married, he began cooking dinner every night for us. He would bring home cookbooks and read recipe titles to me so we could decide which ones we`d like to try next. He`s Italian so you know what he liked to cook.

Pasta, and so many fattening dishes made with lots of butter, cream and cheeses. In three years, I have gained 75 pounds and my husband has gained 50. He tells me he doesn`t care if I weigh 400 pounds, he`ll always love me. He continues to cook and we both continue to gain. I worry we are going to end up sick and not have a long life together."-------------------------------------

". I am the single parent of a physically challenged little girl. She will be in a wheelchair for the rest of her life. You see, she was born with Spina-Bifida. Her father left us when she was only two years-old and I have raised her by myself. I am very proud of her. She`s a straight "A" student and has lots of friends. But her "best friend" is food.

She often gets depressed about not being able to get out of her wheelchair. And I feel so badly that I go out and buy her favorite sweets to help cheer her up. You should see how her face lights up when I do. But my daughter faces another problem now...her weight. I have tried to show her love by overfeeding her. I now realize how wrong I was but how do I change this?-------------------------------------

My advice to all of these people, and to you, is to sit down with that person you love and have a chat with them. And if someone is literally fattening you up, you must sit down with them and discuss the problem.

If you enable, you will eventually help the one you love become DIS-abled. Have that talk soon.

Love,