(Fun stuff) 'Twas the month after Christmas

Posted January 7, 2006

'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste

At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).

I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese

And the way I'd never said, " No thank you, please. "

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt

I said to myself, as only I can

" You can't spend a winter disguised as a man! "

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,

Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chips.

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

" Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie, not even a lick.

I'll want to chew only on a long celery stick.

I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie.

I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore.

But isn't that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.

Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

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